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Bad Doors

The country was at just over ten thousand deaths the morning that the door appeared. On Kosmo’s phone NPR was interviewing a doctor with a nasal voice about the need for social distancing, while Kosmo himself collected empty cans from around his home office. They were everywhere. Walls of recyclable cans dominated his room. Just beside his bookshelf, out of the view from where he taught his Zoom classes, he’d constructed a veritable castle of empty Coke Zeroes.

“If you spread your arms wide, that is roughly the distance you want to be away from others,” the doctor explained. “That prevents your breath and expectorate from coming into contact with others.”

Kosmo tried spreading his arms that wide—he’d always been gangly—and promptly knocked over a three-stack of cans balanced on top of his Riverside Chaucer. The cans clanked to the ground and rolled into the hall. Kosmo chased them, hunched over, like cartoon dinosaur in pursuit.

Nearing the hall, he called out for his cousin. “Jesse? Got any empty seltzers? I’m doing a recycling run.”

That’s when he saw the new door. It was equidistant on the wall between the entrances to his room and Jesse’s. Its deep burgundy color stood out against the plaster white of the walls. It was perfectly flat, without any veins or grain, like it was liquid that had merely cooled to look like wood. It had a square knob, made of polished ebony that shone against the redness.

On Kosmo’s phone, the interviewer asked, “What about the people who say they can’t breathe with masks on?”

Kosmo covered his mouth and breathed through his fingers. All the doors in his house were cheap particle wood. There was no door on that wall of his hallway. There was no room behind there. He didn’t remember getting high this morning. He got closer, expecting this hallucination of a burgundy door to fade.

He heard Jesse’s dog Rufus approaching, little toenails pattering on the hardwood. The Labrador/hound mix had the coldest nose Kosmo had ever encountered, and no sense of smell to go with it. Yet Rufus still nosed at the burgundy door like it would give him a treat.

Kosmo took a moment to make sure that door wasn’t something Jesse had picked up at the Home Depot or something and left leaning against the wall.

No, it was embedded in the wall. Despite this being an internal wall, he heard sounds like rasping wind and a heavy humming coming from the other side. Rufus nosed closer at the door, pushing his muzzle at something on the floor. It was thin and flaky, like a bit of snakeskin.

The dog opened his mouth as though to eat the snakeskin, and that was it for Kosmo. He scooped the pup up in a two-armed hug and ran for the backdoor. He didn’t even put his shoes on. Hell no, he was not finding out what this was about.

Uncle Dahl gave Kosmo no end of shit for moving. But Uncle Dahl also kept sending him conspiracy theories about Bill Gates, so Kosmo mostly ignored him. Their family was a piece of work. They begged for hand sanitizer and then barely used it.

Jesse complained about the move too, even though his ass had never paid Kosmo rent. “Sheltering for the pandemic” seemed to be Jesse’s means of living for free. As it was, Kosmo walked Jesse’s dog more than Jesse did. Fortunately, Rufus was good company.

Kosmo only returned to the house twice, to get some of his stuff for the move. He put that house right on the market. He wasn’t living in whatever was about to happen there.

Jesse asked, “What was going to happen in there?”

To which Kosmo answered, “I don’t want to know.”

The weirdest thing was that the second time he went back, when he went with the realtor, the burgundy door wasn’t there. Just a little sloughed off snakeskin blowing along the floor.

The realtor, Mrs. Weiss, said, “Good move getting rid of that door. It threw off the vibe of the hallway. You drywalled so cleanly I couldn’t even tell there had been a door there.”

Kosmo hadn’t touched anything. He was about as handy as a man with four feet.

But, he also wasn’t sticking around to investigate. Complaining about disappearing mystery doors was only going to cost him resale value. He needed all the money he could get, because while selling in this market was good, finding a new place was brutal with all the people sheltering-in-place from the pandemic and all the Boomers buying new places to shelter. Mrs. Weiss said it’d be easier if he waited six months for COVID to blow over.

Kosmo wasn’t waiting around. He ate his losses, and got Jesse and Rufus into the moving van, and moved the hell across the state. His part in this story was over.

Or it was supposed to be. The door had other plans.

They lugged their crap in through the unthreatening taupe doors of their new home. It was half the size of the old place, a single-story building that could’ve been a double-wide trailer in a previous life. It was what Kosmo could get for his money. Most of their stuff wouldn’t fit.

One thing he refused to lose was the plush beige sofa that was more comfortable than whatever clouds God sat on. Kosmo and Jesse wrestled with it for fifteen minutes, with Rufus running in circles between their legs, before they got it through the house’s narrow entrance. It was such a tight fit that they dropped it halfway down the front hall. They sat on their prize, with their feet up against the wall. Rufus bounded over an armrest to snuggle and jam his cold nose into Kosmo’s armpit.

Kosmo and Jesse took hits off the weed in Jesse’s vape pen. After his second inhale, Jesse asked, “You feel like getting the TV?”

Kosmo had just gotten comfortable, too. He said, “If you want it, you go get it.”

“I need my shows.”

“Don’t you have a phone? And where would you even put a TV in here?”

Jesse swiped vaguely down to the other end of the off-white hall. The lighting was strong there, shining on a burgundy door.

Kosmo jumped over the dog and sofa alike. He sheltered behind an arm rest, staring at that door. It had that same, square doorknob of polished ebony.

Kosmo said, “That shit was not there a minute ago, right?”

Jesse hit the vape pen again and leaned towards the door. “No. No, it was not. Is that the same door from the old house?”

“Don’t look at it like that.”

“Like what?”

Kosmo reached for his cousin. He grabbed at his hoodie. “Like you’re going to touch it.”

No yank on Jesse could get the man to budge. He said, “You don’t know it’s dangerous.”

“Jesse. Are we on all of the drugs?”

“Unfortunately, we are not.”

“Then that door is stalking us. No good comes from that.”

Jesse had the gall to frown at him when there was an evil door standing right down the hall from him. He said, “What is your trauma, man? What happened to you that made you afraid of a little mystery?”

What was his trauma? Kosmo had a perfectly regular amount of traumas. He shook his head at his cousin. “No man, this isn’t on me. I don’t know what’s wrong with people like you who want to touch an impossible thing that’s messing with you. Doors don’t appear from nowhere.”

“Well, this one did.”

Kosmo smacked the arm rest for emphasis. “Exactly. And what happens next? Do space witches come through the door? Does other shit materialize around my house and in ten minutes we fall into a basement that never existed? I’m not finding out. I’m not doing the science here.”

Not one sentence made Jesse turn around. He kept staring at the door. “But what’s inside?”

“I just said, I don’t want to know.” Kosmo gathered Rufus into his arms. “Let’s go.”

Jesse didn’t go. He crawled over the sofa and wandered across the floor, into Kosmo’s unwanted house. No expletives slowed him down. He reached a hairy hand for that square doorknob.

Kosmo took off, abandoning his sofa and his cousin, and went straight through the nearest exit. The taupe door hit him in the hip on the way out, and Rufus barked in his arms. The dog got loud enough that Kosmo couldn’t hear whether Jesse actually opened that forbidden door.

On the cracked concrete of the front step, Kosmo hesitated a second. “Jesse. Get out here.”

That used up the last of his bravery. In the next moment he was in the moving truck, starting it up with the front door still ajar. Rufus wagged his tail and tried to climb across his lap like this was an adventure.

The truck farted to life and rumbled. The seatbelt chime pestered him. He checked over his shoulder and saw the driveway was clear and he could back out. He kept it idling, waiting, willing his cousin to find sense and get out of there. Even if Jesse came with Pennywise and the Babadook chasing him, it would be a relief to get them all out alive.

The truck idled so long that the fasten-seatbelt chime gave up. Kosmo lingered, watching the house for anything. Any mellow the weed had given him was dead.

“Damn it,” he said to himself. As he stepped out, he made sure to close Rufus in the truck, so the dog would stay out of trouble. Rufus wagged his tail cluelessly.

When Kosmo checked inside, the burgundy door was closed. The black knob shone brightly with its polish.

He called, “Jesse?”

No answer. He checked the bathrooms. The rear lawn. There was no sign of his cousin anywhere. The air barely smelled like his weed. It smelled more like wilting produce in here.

Being alone in the house with that door was too much. Kosmo started to leave, and then spotted some garbage in front of the door. He thought it was a bunch of torn packing paper, until he noticed the scaly pattern. It was a long hunk of snakeskin, maybe five feet of it. It was all dried and curled there at the foot of the door, exactly where Jesse had stood.

Kosmo spent the police investigation in cheap motels, simultaneously dreading and knowing no answer would come.

He never stayed more than a couple days at the same place. He picked ones with small rooms, where he could see most of the walls. No doors were sneaking up on him.

The pickings were thinner since some motels forbade dogs. He couldn’t bring himself to give Rufus to a shelter. It seemed every day there was another news break of COVID breaking out at another community or animal shelter. The poor dog had been through enough.

So Kosmo spent his nights with the weirdo dog’s nose tucked into his armpit. Jesse had said that Rufus had lost his sense of smell in a car accident. Who knew what he liked about Kosmo’s armpit. Maybe it had the right warmth and moisture balance. He tried not to think about it. These days he was bad at not thinking about things.

Kosmo sat on the windowsill, on the phone with Uncle Dahl. Rufus padded over and flopped against Kosmo’s ankle. He gave a classic dog sigh. It sounded exhausted, but probably didn’t mean anything. Projecting human emotions onto a dog’s sigh was almost as irrational as projecting them onto a door.

Uncle Dahl coughed so loud it sounded performative. He said, “Your mother raised you to be smarter with money. You sold two houses for chicken feed. You’ve got to invest.”

Kosmo said, “Did you miss the part with the evil door?”

“Again with your evil door story.”

“It ate my cousin. Jesse. Aunt Angelina’s son disappeared.”

“My house is full of doors. Should I be scared and sell too?”

Kosmo closed his eyes. This was not why he’d called his uncle.

In as neutral a tone as he could force, Kosmo asked, “So you don’t remember any weird doors appearing to you or Mom or Aunt Angelina? Not when you were little? Never heard anything like on the Russian side of the family either?”

“My grandfather would’ve beaten the flesh off your knuckles for suggesting that. We’re Orthodox. We never mess with the occult.”

Kosmo could’ve argued that there had been plenty of occultism in Russia, but that wasn’t the point of the call. He asked, “The occult never messed with us? There’s nothing about snakes or square doorknobs or anything?”

“You pampered children.” Instantly, his uncle’s voice switched condescensions. He went from irate condescension to an insincere condescension, like this was entertaining for him now. “First you kids said there was this super virus sweeping the planet. Now you say there are evil doors everywhere. This is what’s wrong with your generation. You scare easily.”

As though done with this conversation, Rufus got up and padded away from the window.

Kosmo said, “COVID is real, Uncle Dahl. Are you using the hand sanitizer?”

“I’m on a Facebook group with real doctors. They are suppressing the research.”

Kosmo pinched the bridge of his nose. “Who is?”

“Corporate media. They’re trying to scare you into being a sheep. None of those people are really dead. It’s all a plot to steal the election. Did you see what the governor said?”

No, Kosmo was not having this same argument again. He’d gotten it in a dozen Facebook posts every day. Actual colleagues had unfriended Kosmo for being connected to Uncle Dahl. He hated thinking he’d have to sever ties with one of the last people who remembered how his mother’s voice had sounded.

Kosmo powered through with one last ditch effort. “So you’re absolutely sure there’s nothing about doors or snakeskins or anything in the family?”

Uncle Dahl barked out a laugh so hard Kosmo could almost smell his halitosis through the phone. “What do you even think is behind your scary door? This thing you’re throwing your life away over?”

Rufus whined from over near the coat closet. He was nosing at the wall, where the one lamp in the motel room barely illuminated anything. There wasn’t much to look at, yet the dog with no sense of smell moved like it was sniffing.

Another look, and Kosmo saw the burgundy door.

It was the same imposing height as it had been in his house, and in the second house where he’d lost Jesse. It was set right into the wall beside the closet, like it was inviting him to grab its square knob and walk through into the next motel room.

Rufus turned his dappled head to look at Kosmo, furry ears drooping. He had a long strand of snakeskin dangling from his mouth.

“Uncle. I’ll call you back.”

He got his first vaccination shot at an open-air clinic on a college campus, about an hour’s trip from where he picked up the RV. The nurse told him to move his arm every hour so it wouldn’t get sore, and fortunately Rufus was hyper that day and kept tugging on his leash to go explore more bushes. Kosmo kept Rufus near him at all times these days, in case of doors. Together they went on a walk to a local car dealership.

Something about the supply chain and microchip shortage meant the car market was a disaster. He settled for a decade-old used RV with a recently replaced engine. It was dingier in person than it had looked online. Still, as he ran his hand over its unusually low roof, Kosmo grinned. He used a tape measure on the tan and brown body of the RV to make sure. It was on the small side, with barely enough space for himself and Rufus to cook and sleep, and play videogames, and Zoom.

Better, it was the wrong dimensions for other things. It was too short, too narrow, and had windows in too many places. The door had always showed up the same size. There was no way it could fit on this RV.

“Who’s a clever boy?” he asked Rufus, rubbing the dog’s floppy ears. “Who’s smarter than a door?”

If face-licking was a sign of approval, then Rufus thought he was a genius.

His phone buzzed as he pulled out of the lot. It was Uncle Dahl. He’d been texting more since Kosmo had deleted Facebook. He couldn’t deal with all the conspiracy theories and the deluge of textual screaming in his life. The last post he’d seen had speculated state governments were hiding COVID deaths as “pneumonia deaths.”

He ignored Uncle Dahl for now and heading to the nearest campsite. Rufus and he had a whole road trip planned to explore parts of America without walls. Soon he’d be spending two weeks in Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Two weeks alone, after so many months basically alone. Some friends had invited him to a bonfire they claimed would be open-air, about a day’s drive out of his way. Considering it made him ache, but the longer he was away from them, the less he trusted that they were really isolating and socially distancing, and the more he read into their unmasked selfies.

The campgrounds were on some hills overlooking a small pine forest and a public sports field. A bunch of kids in mismatched uniforms were playing soccer, and parents pumped their fists and spilled their drinks in celebration from the faded bleachers. None of them wore masks—not the parents, and not the players. Being that recklessly happy looked so appealing. Kosmo imagined taking Rufus down there and introducing him. Kids always wanted to pet him.

A shriek rang out from near the southern goal. A kid had tripped and went down clutching his leg. Everyone swarmed him like ants, first his fellow kids, and then parents. From all the way up at his campsite Kosmo could tell the kid had just skinned his knee. It must have been so comforting to that boy, to have all those people around him, caring for a little pain.

Nobody masked up as they came closer. Kosmo’s instinct to go join the sympathy faded into a concern that anyone of them could’ve infected the whole huddle. How terrible it would be, if that instant of caring for a crying child was a spreader event. What were they all even thinking gathering like this? Did the U.S. have to hit a million dead to scare people into taking it seriously?

His phone buzzed and interrupted his ire. It startled him so hard he nearly dropped Rufus’s leash. He’d really lost himself there.

He checked his phone. It was another text from Uncle Dahl. Kosmo skimmed the messages, half-watching the kids below celebrate their fellow athlete walking it off. When Kosmo scrolled to the last message, his fingers clenched down on the phone. He pulled the screen closer to his face.

Uncle Dahl had seen the door.

“Where is it?” Kosmo asked before he even got out of the RV’s cab. Rufus tried to follow and Kosmo barely shut the door in time to keep him in. He wasn’t letting Rufus get hurt.

Uncle Dahl rubbed a sneakered foot at a crack on the driveway. His scraggly gray beard was entirely unmasked. Brown sweatpants dangled on his skinny legs, and his beer gut was mostly contained in a red bathrobe. For how lazily he was dressed, his thinning gray hair was gelled and neatly combed over his freckled scalp.

His uncle said, “You’re really living in that thing? That’s not a home.”

He coughed twice, then spit something yellow onto the pavement of the driveway. Kosmo stepped away from him and got a dirty look for it.

Kosmo asked, “Did you get vaccinated? I can help you sign up.”

“I’m not a sheep. I don’t need the Deep State tracking my every move.”

Kosmo pointed to the rectangular bulge in Uncle Dahl’s bathrobe pocket. “There are not microchips in vaccines, and you have a cell phone. I guarantee you TikTok already has all your information.”

“You live in a glorified car. You’re going to talk to me like that? Take your life back. Be a man.”

“It turns out the RV doesn’t care what gender I am. Neither does this door curse thing.” Kosmo kept talking just to move the conversation along. This had already reminded him why he’d deleted Facebook in the first place. “Where’s the door? How long has it been here?”

Uncle Dahl pointed out back, to the yard he paid landscapers to mow and seed for him. The rear wall of his house was brick painted the same deep blue of the U.S. flag. Paint flaked in various places, and at first Kosmo mistook some of the flecks for snakeskin.

But standing on the watered lawn, looking at those blue-painted bricks, he didn’t see the door anywhere. He looked closer, wondering if Uncle Dahl had painted over it. Uncle Dahl did lots of weird things.

Kosmo asked, “You said it was out here?”

Uncle Dahl said, “You don’t visit family anymore. You didn’t even come for the holidays. You won’t come in our houses because of this COVID thing. Do you see anyone other than that dog?”

Kosmo was looking around the next side of the house before he understood what that meant. He wheeled at Uncle Dahl. “Is it actually here?”

Uncle Dahl coughed again, a brackish noise. “You’re so afraid of this phantom door. Doors are everywhere. Doors are just a thing.”

“This thing ate Jesse. How do you not care about that?”

“I don’t believe that story,” Uncle Dahl said, coming closer, which made Kosmo back away. “But if any of it’s real, we could make money. That’s why we needed to see each other. It’ll show up if you stay long enough. You said it appears everywhere. Let’s do something with this opportunity.”

Kosmo noticed the surveillance cameras mounted around his uncle’s property. At least two of those were aimed at them. Was he recording this? Was he looking to make a profit off a video of Kosmo getting bewitched by a burgundy door?

He tried to slow his breathing. He was not slugging a senior citizen today. He put a fist to the side of his own head and pushed, making himself turn away so he wouldn’t yell. But maybe he should yell. Maybe embarrassing his uncle in front of his neighbors would rattle some sense into him.

Uncle Dahl said, “Don’t be dramatic. It’s time for you to move on. Look at that wall. Show me this door. Then you can leave it here. Give the door to me.”

Despite himself, Kosmo did stare at the wall. At that dark blue paint that belonged in depictions of a U.S. flag. The seams between every brick under the paint were so obvious. He wondered if the door would appear burgundy as always, or if its shape would emerge from beneath the blue. He’d never seen where the door came from.

His uncle deserved it. If he wanted to get swallowed into the unknown like Jesse, then a hurt part of himself said to let it happen.

The instant he entertained the thought, more followed through it. If he was going to let the door appear, he could do something nice for himself after. Maybe he’d stick around to see it open and have all those nagging questions answered from a safe distance. Maybe he could drive to the bonfire with his friends after all. Go teach on campus again. Fill up an entire Fine Arts building with evil doors, because screw it, if nobody else cared, then why should he?

Uncle Dahl sniffed wetly and rubbed his nose. “No more excuses. It’s time for you to live a real life.”

That was why he shouldn’t. Spite was a bad reason, but people had been taking this unseriously since the first day he’d carried Rufus away from the first door. The door was stalking him and he didn’t change. Jesse was gone and he didn’t change from that insipid condescension.

Kosmo pushed away from the wall with its flecking paint and its bricks and its promises of bonfires. No door had appeared yet, and no door was going to appear. He marched in a wide berth around his uncle, not wanting to breathe an iota of that man’s air.

Rufus was halfway up on the dashboard, head up, panting happily at the sight of him through the windshield. That dog was so happy just at the idea that Kosmo was coming home. Before he’d even fully sat at the wheel, Rufus’s cold nose went directly into his armpit. He hugged the dog around his neck.

Uncle Dahl followed him, yelling, “You’ve got to take control.”

He looked at his uncle one more time. “I am. Me leaving is me taking control. Don’t text me again.”

He slammed the door and pulled the RV out of the driveway, not looking back, not caring if the whole property was overtaken by weird doors and an old man’s outrage. He and Rufus rode straight for the interstate, to get out of Florida as early as he could. The two of them had a date with the Great Smoky Mountains.

His uncle texted him several more times. Kosmo didn’t let himself read them; he couldn’t stand the sting. Texts slowed over the weeks, and stopped a month later when Uncle Dahl passed away.

Officially, it was pneumonia.

Prospect Heights

In 1981, Amelia moved to New York City. Brooklyn. Specifically, Prospect Heights, where she rented a room in a rooming house on a street of four-story brownstones. Her room had ornate molding and a white marble fireplace veined in gray that had been bricked up. Her landlady told her never to go to up the street to the right, the neighborhood was dangerous.

She did walk right, one Sunday morning when the street was silent. The dangerous were surely still in bed, sleeping off Saturday night. The brownstones were even grander in their decay, five stories. Gentrification was crawling up the street behind her but hadn’t gotten here. She looked up the narrow face of a brownstone, and through the windows of the top floor she could see sky. There was no roof. It was magical, like a Magritte painting.

The door was heavy and peeling brown paint. She thought maybe people were living on the first floor. She was not a brave person, not really, and tended to do things she thought were brave on a kind of sheer nervous energy. Besides, the door would be locked, this wasn’t the part of New York where there were doormen. This is where the doormen went home to live.

The door was unlocked.

The hallway was dim, the wallpaper was old, ‘60s Jetson style patterns. The door to the apartment on the right was halfway open and there was a worn brown couch and rug, and an orange Hot Wheels track. She hesitated but went up, drawn by that sky.

The other doors were closed, but on the third floor she might have heard someone talking to someone. The fourth floor had a door open to a half-gutted apartment, construction debris and newspapers piled so they reached halfway to the ceiling. It smelled like mold and chemicals. People probably shouldn’t be living here. She paid $85 a week for a room, which was a lot of money for rent. Especially in a month with five Fridays.

This was stupid. But she would never walk right again, she knew. The stairs were sunlit and water damaged. She avoided the center of each step and tested her weight.

Someone had tried to tidy up the top floor, piling the brick and plaster in a corner. The walls were mostly gone, their footprints visible in the floorboards. The wide wood planks felt solid. It was a between space. Like she was a between woman. She loved New York. She loved the subway stations, the stairwells faintly smelling of urine. She loved the way that when the train approached the station, the napkins and bits of trash would lift in the displacement of air, and she would hold her breath and then after a pause, the train would come in, braking hard. But she didn’t feel part of it.

(Watch yourself on the subway stairs, that’s where you’ll get mugged because it’s harder to run. If someone attacks you on the street between the subway and home, crawl under a car, and if you can, snap off a car antenna. Make yourself not worth the trouble. But she had never had a problem because she was mousy and poor and not worth it.)

She went to one of the windows she had seen from the street. On the sidewalk she saw someone like herself, a foreshortened white woman in a blue jacket. The woman started to look up, a flash of reflection across her glasses, and Amelia stepped back.

She was out of synch. She had been out of synch in Ohio; queer, bookish. She was out of synch here; fearful, trying to remember to say “soda” instead of “pop.” What would happen if that Amelia, the one on the sidewalk, came up here?

She was foolish, someone on the street had looked a little like her but couldn’t be her, she was right here.

But the other Amelia was still there, and she looked as if she was about to step into the street.

Seriously, it wasn’t another Amelia, and they weren’t going to cross the street, try the door, come up the stairs. But Amelia couldn’t wait, couldn’t stand to stay there. She forgot being careful and pounded down the stairs. On the first floor, she saw the door start to slowly open, and blind with fear, she went into the apartment with the Hot Wheels.

If someone was in the back, past the kitchen, into the bedrooms, they didn’t come out to ask her what the hell she was doing there. They might, at any moment.

She couldn’t breathe. She heard faint steps on the stairwell and as soon as she no longer heard them, she eased the apartment door open, and went outside.

There was no one on the street except a guy smoking a cigarette. He belonged here. He gave a her a look that said she didn’t. She jogged across the street, walked briskly home to her room with its fireplace. It was usually a safe place but today it felt like the rest of New York, impermeable.

She saw the other Amelia three more times in New York. She thought maybe if she stood by the elevator of the office building where she worked, and was there when the other Amelia got off, she might sync up. But she was safe this way. She felt hard to notice, as if she was just at an angle to reality.

She left New York City spat out by economics and the constant sense of clawing against something that wouldn’t let her in. She got a job in a bank back in Ohio where the pressure was huge, but never on her, although it never felt as if Ohio fit quite like it used to after New York. Sarah said, “Nothing ever bothers you. I really admire that! How do you do that?”

But the server came so Amelia didn’t have to answer.

People didn’t notice when she left work at 5:00. She saw the other Amelia but she was always going in another direction.

That was lonely, but safe.

Miz Boudreaux’s Last Ride

You ever love the pretty right off someone? When I was a kid, had me a BMX, bright red like a candy apple. I rode it all summer long, cresting hills trying to catch the perfect gleam in the sunlight. Only that same sunlight that gave the bike its shine burnt all the sparkle out of it. I forgot about that bike, until three weeks ago when I caught Tommy asleep, nestled in all the pillows with the desert sun falling slantwise on his face through the blinds.

Now, I ain’t slept right the night before. My back was sore. My feet swole up like pumpkins. I had an itch just behind my balls. Was a time where I could catch three hours in the flatbed of a moving pick up, or two-and-a-half on some trick’s clammy waterbed and feel fresh as ironed boxers the next morning, but them days are gone. So you best believe when Newport—that’s our dog—started whining less than an hour after I drifted off, “that goddamn hound” was the nicest thing I had to say about either of them. Tommy ain’t stir an inch. So I got my ass up and took Newport out for a walk so he ain’t piss all over the kitchen floor. Again. Had to keep Newport on a tight leash, otherwise he’d be liable to chase a jackrabbit into the creosote, or play fetch with a rattlesnake. Weimaraners is hunting dogs, and old as Newport is, he got plenty of sprint left in them long legs.

Come back to find Tommy snoring underneath the window air conditioning unit, my best quilt tucked up to his chin. Still early, but you could already feel the heat coming down over the hills on the wind. Was finna snatch that quilt right off of Tommy when Newport started yapping and growling at the doorway. Wasn’t nothing I could see, but Newport’s hackles was up and he stood between me and the door like to bite somebody. Last time he was like this, a ‘possum had broke through the lattice and got itself stuck between a pier and block in the crawlspace. But he had yapped at the kitchen floor, not an empty doorway. I stroked his flank. “Easy, boy.”

Tommy moaned low in the bed behind me, and Newport stopped yapping and slunk off into the kitchen like he was in trouble. Tommy sat up and pulled the quilt tight against his chest. Tommy always got wide-eyed when he was up to no good; just the picture of aw, shucks innocence. But the look on his face now was prim, and half-lidded, like his eyelashes was heavy. Mighta been Tommy’s mouth that moved, but it sure wasn’t his speech coming out of it. “Davion, cher. You have been keeping yourself very well. I don’t suppose I could trouble you to make me a little coffee and scalded milk?”

It was maybe twenty, twenty-one years since I seen that look and heard thattone, but I gotta say they woulda made an impression even if me and Tommy ain’t been over a mountain of associated bullshit. Still, Mama always told me to be polite to a lady, so I took off my snapback and tried my best not to look pissed. “I’d say it was good to see you, but I don’t suppose I rightly can, ma’am. Now, Miz Boudreaux, before I bust out the percolator, you want to tell me what you’re doing in my husband’s body?”

A half hour later we was sitting at the kitchen table. Me, Tommy’s body, and Miz Boudreaux talking out of it. Newport hid behind the sofa, but you could still hear his tail thumping. There was leftover tortillas from the tacos Tommy made the night before, and I whipped up two plates of chilaquiles. Miz Boudreaux in Tommy’s body went through three cups of coffee with hot milk, but ain’t touched the food. The egg was going cold. She sipped real dainty out of Tommy’s best mug. “Coffee is a delight. A shame Thomas has dulled his senses with smoking. Have you ever tried making coffee with chicory?”

“Miz Boudreaux, I’ll be happy to make you another cup to go.” I took a bite of my breakfast. I should have put a little garlic salt in that salsa. “But you still ain’t answered not one question.”

Tommy’s hands fluttered. His lips pursed. “I have known Thomas a very long time. I was always pleased that he found you, and that you two held onto each other.” That heavy-lidded expression ain’t do nothing good for Tommy’s crow’s feet.

“That’s sweet, and all, but it ain’t Tommy I’m talking to right now, and I need a hand with the chores before the day gets too hot. And again, I don’t mean to be rude and all, but is there a point for this voodoo spooky mind control?”

“You have been very patient in indulging an old woman, Davion. It grieves me to cause you distress. I have come here, in fact, to offer you a bargain that may be of great interest.”

“Sorry, but can’t you just call. Like on the phone? I get that you might not be cool with FaceTime or Skype, but—”

There was a pout that probably would have been charming on a different face. “Alas, Davion, if it were as simple as a phone call, I would not need to make this bargain.” Tommy’s fingers drummed on the table. “I am no longer among the living, and need someone who is to accomplish a task for me.”

I hate this kind of shit. “If your head finna rotate and you plan to vomit coffee on my nice clean floor, tell me now. I can get a bucket.”

“Davion! I am not demonic. I am your old friend. We made a bargain before that was mutually profitable, no?”

I sucked my teeth. “Way I remember it, you charged us thirty of the finest portraits of Benjamin Franklin and then said we needed to pony up a collective thirty years of our then young lives in order to get some charms that got us tracked by the goddamn magic police.”

“And the charms worked?”

“They worked alright, but we sure didn’t use the full time we paid for, and I don’t reckon we got a refund on them years.”

“A spell costs what it costs.”

“Right.” Took another bite of my breakfast. Chewed. Swallowed. “Now, I spent twenty years keeping the fuck away from all this hoodoo bullshit because it ain’t ever straightforward. ‘Mutually profitable’ means you want us to do something.”

“I left something uncompleted. Something that will not let me rest. If you were to help me accomplish this, I have a prize very much worth your effort.”

“I know you’re in Tommy. Can he hear this?”

“No. This conversation is between you and me. He is, for the moment, lost. Asleep.”

“Why you ain’t show up in a ouija board, or talk through the hound? Why put Tommy asleep? You don’t trust him to make the right decision?”

“I have never trusted a man.”

“I don’t want to make no agreements involving Tommy without his say in it.”

She stood up in Tommy’s body. Walked over to the window. Pulled the curtains closed against the light. “I can smell death in this room. Thomas is a wildfire. Instead of listening to my offer, he would rage and burn until there was nothing left. You, you are a little bit of cool water. I’m afraid the only time for me to broach this with you is now, and it would be difficult for me to return for an answer.”

“What’s this offer?” I thrust my chin forward, the way I do when I’m itching for a fight.

“I can offer you this: fifteen more years for one of you. One of your lives extended for a decade-and-a-half.”

“Why not both?” I asked.

“I can offer it to one.”

“Seven and a half for each of us?”

A deep, rattling sigh. “What you ask for is beyond my ability. I have only what I have offered you. Do you accept?”

Shit. My back ain’t hurt me that much. I ain’t ready to check out, and I reckon Tommy wasn’t ready to find religion. “You can’t ‘spect me to accept without telling me what we got to do in exchange?”

“A long time ago, when I was very young, I came to a place not far from here. I did an unconsidered favor, for a man. I cast a spell that has had consequences. I need this spell undone.”

“Don’t know if you noticed, but neither me nor Tommy got much in the way of that downhome rootwork shit. Can’t even read a tarot card, me.”

“My goddaughter Eulalia will undo the spell. What I need from you boys is protection. She will be physically vulnerable while she does the unbinding, and I need someone to fight for her. A machete would work. No charms needed.”

I took a good look at Tommy. A really good look at him. Farmer’s tan. Belly big from too many micheladas. Golden hair turned dishwater. Some of the pretty was still there, but he got a mean set to his jaw. I thought about him stealing all the covers, and not getting his ass up to take out the dog I never wanted in the first place. How bad his breath was in the morning. How sometimes I could walk into the front room and find him haunting it like a ghost, with the light from the TV casting colors across his face. I thought the meanest things about him I could.

Then I made my choice.

“She called me a horse?” Tommy shoveled his cold chilaquiles into his mouth. Newport was on the floor by his feet.

“Well, she was possessing you. Guess she could tell how you was hung.”

He snorted. Newport gave Tommy’s leg a lick. “Be serious, Davion. What happened? What did she want?”

“You still got that .22 Ruger you used for coyotes back when you had the chicken coop?”

“Course I do. In good condition. Part of my inheritance from Uncle Joe, like this house.”

“This trailer.” I insisted. Newport whined up at me.

“For the last time, it’s a mobile home, Davion.”

The distinction is still lost on me. We ain’t even got a pitched roof. “The gun, Tommy.”

“Like I said. Working fine. Plenty of ammo. Ready for varmints. Now what do we need it for?” He tore off some of the white from his egg and slipped it down to Newport.

“Well, the ghost of Miz Boudreaux dropped by with a proposition. We keep her goddaughter Eulalia safe through some bad juju, and we get back the fifteen years we paid her back then.”

“Can’t say I love the sound of whatever we’re keeping that gal safe from, but I don’t reckon Miz Boudreaux would risk putting her goddaughter in the way of something she thinks we can’t manage.” That bad little boy smile spread across Tommy’s face. “Both of us get them years back?”

“Both of us,” I lied.

Tommy raised an eyebrow. “Maybe death has made that old bat a smidge more generous than I recollect.”

I looked down at an envelope with Eulalia’s scrawled address on it. “Look like she stay about an hour away. Ain’t got no phone number. Hope she’s expecting us.”

Eulalia’s address was one of them big ranch style houses they threw up in the late eighties and nineties on loop-de-loop streets with names like Vista Butte Way or Sandstone Arch Circle. Four-car garage. Enough bedrooms for your 2.5 kids, plus a formal living room and a den for your home cinema. Looked like someone had laid down sod in the front yard long before the water restrictions had kicked in; most of the topsoil had gone back to the desert. Band-aid colored clapboard. Artificial stonework by the front door. Like a postcard of the American Dream bleached out by the sun. Newport craned his neck to take a gander, then curled up on his blanket in the pickup’s flatbed, unimpressed.

A quick check in the rearview mirror to make sure I was still presentable: collar down flat, good sunglasses with the tortoiseshell rims on straight, nothing green in my teeth, and up the flagstone path to the front door, Tommy as my shadow. I pressed the doorbell twice. Nothing for a moment, and my stomach kind of rolled when I considered that Eulalia might not be home. Then a sound of heavy footsteps, and a muffled curse. “Hello!” barked through the closed door.

I smiled at the peephole. Dusted off my “proper” voice. “Good morning. I hope I have the right address? I’m looking for Ms. Eulalia Jackson.”

The door swung in. A big woman near filled the doorframe. I mean amazonian. Taller than Tommy. Muscular, and what my aunties called “thick.” Smooth dark skin, she seemed well acquainted with the cocoa butter. Old school afro with a side-part. Lace-up boots. Camo pants. She looked me up and down. “Knight of Wands and the King of Cups, reversed.”

“Excuse me?”

“I think she means us, babe.” Tommy said.

The woman nodded. “My tarot reading this morning was all fucked up. Explains a lot. I guess y’all better come in. And no one calls me ‘Eulalia.’ I go by ‘Jack.’”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Davion.” I shook her hand. Firm grip. “This is Tommy.”

“Come on in before I cool the whole Mojave.”

The inside of the house was dark and cool. I took off my sunglasses. No lights on and blinds shut against the day. Smelled a little like dust and old cooking. Not unpleasant. Here was somebody who liked they food seasoned. Didn’t seem to be a ‘take your shoes off kind of house,’ but I paused on the tiles in the entryway just in case. Jack beckoned us over to a sunken living room with a rust-colored sectional couch wrapping round two of its walls. She sunk into it, propped her feet up on a coffee table made from a slab of granite. It was covered with papers, maps, and playing cards, including the Knight of Wands and the King of Cups, which was upside down. I sat down. The cushions were soft, but with something springy underneath. Maybe a pull-out bed. Tommy sat on the edge, next to me.

She tamped down tobacco in an old-fashioned pipe. “Y’all hungry? I don’t always eat lunch, but I got plenty of leftovers, still good.”

I shook my head.

Tommy said, “We already ate before coming out. Thank you.”

She chomped on the pipe’s stem. Lit it. Sucked in a long drag. Held the pipe in her right hand and blew three perfect smoke rings. “Last night, for the first time since Auntie Melba died, I had me a dream about crawfish. Auntie Melba always used to say if you dream of a trout, somebody having a baby girl, and you dream of a crawfish, there’s a boy coming. But for me, all a crawfish dream ever meant was that she wanted me to do something.”

Tommy asked, “Your Auntie Melba is Miz Boudreaux?”

Jack nodded. “Great aunt, actually.” She chomped down on the pipe again. “Always said I was her favorite. She claimed it was because I was born with a caul, but I think it was just ‘cause no one else would get out of their bed at midnight and wait at a crossroads with a cow hoof no questions asked when an old lady in Colorado had a vision.”

Tommy nodded. “She was like that. I’m sorry for your loss.”

More smoke rings. “She had to be close to a hundred. And you can’t say the old girl didn’t have a full life. I hope she’s at rest now.”

I cleared my throat. “I ain’t like to be the bearer of bad news, but I s’ppose you could say that’s why we’re here.”

Jack’s lips pinched tight. “You here to tell me Auntie Melba’s a haint?”

Tommy frowned. “Well she kind of possessed me, which I didn’t take very kindly to, to tell the truth.”

I gave Jack my ‘we’re all friends here’ smile. “What he means is your sainted Auntie came personally from the beyond to make a request of her—you did say you were her favorite— goddaughter in order to complete a task she left undone during her long, productive lifetime.”

Jack squinted. Then burst out laughing. “Can’t believe she’s been dead for six months and is still finding a way to mind other folks’ business. What she want me to do?”

“She said you would be able to undo a spell she cast when she was young. Some place not far from here. Called it Paluma Negro.”

Tommy corrected my Spanish. “Paloma Negra.”

Smoke rings. “Of course it’s that. I’ve got to go pack my tools. If y’all ain’t gassed up your truck, might want to hit a station first. Not many stops where we’re going.”

While we was waiting outside for Jack, a pair of starlings flitted over and landed on top of a Joshua tree. Newport ain’t usually fussed with little birds, but he barked at that tree. The starlings didn’t stir, and three more fluttered over to sit next to the pair. Tommy said, “You know they call a flock of starlings a ‘murmuration?’”

One of the garage doors in Jack’s house lifted. She came out of the garage with an olive drab duffel bag and a bomber jacket slung over one shoulder. Tommy slid into the middle of the bench seat. Jack tossed the duffel in the flatbed, gave Newport a pat on the head, and clambered into the passenger seat. Tommy wasn’t never a small boy, even at his leanest, and it was a tighter fit than I’d like.

“Where we off to, boss?” I asked.

“Paloma Negra don’t really exist no more.” Click. The garage door closed. “It was a dying community when Auntie Melba came through seventy years ago. You’re going to have to take 200 Street East as far as you can go, and then we’re onto some unnamed back country roads.”

Tommy said, “That ghost is sending us to a ghost town?”

Jack laughed. “Your man don’t say much, but he got some jokes.”

“About three.” I said. “And he keeps recycling them.” I pulled away from the house. We passed three near identical versions on the way onto the road.

“What you know about Paloma Negra?” Jack asked.

Tommy said, “We never heard the name before today.”

“Story time, I guess.”

Six starlings flew low across the road.

Jack continued, “Y’all know what a sundown town is?”

I nodded. Tommy said, “My dad’s from North Platte, in Nebraska. He said my great-grandaddy helped chase all the Black people out of town. Well, Black likely wasn’t the word that great-granddaddy used. Bet he’d like to spit to see me with Davion.”

Jack said, “Well when you kick everyone brown out of places, they got to end up somewhere. Paloma Negra was a place like that.”

Jack’s sub-division was a pop of color in the rearview. All too soon it was gone. Ahead was rock, sand, scrub, and Joshua trees. Starlings made a big-ass black cloud across the late morning blue, taking shapes that reminded me of the inkblots the school psychologist shows you.

“Black folk, brown folk, workers from China. They all lived in their little desert town. Back then, it was on the shore of a lake. And you’d get big fields of golden poppies blooming in February. Kids’d play in the creek, and someone was always baking something.”

“Sounds like heaven,” Tommy said.

“I think it was a hardscrabble life. Folk kept goats, and tough little cattle with stringy meat and sour milk. Wasn’t near a railroad, so goods was hard to come by and expensive.” Jack sighed. “But I think they did okay. Turn left.”

I made the turn. The road here was rough, and Newport whined when a pothole woke him from his nap.

Jack said, “But they had a couple of bad years with floods. The creek burst it banks and washed the bridge away. Flash floods from the hills wiped out a whole herd of sheep. And kids drowned.”

Another flock of starlings. This time like a choppy wave at sea, then into tight whirlpool spirals. I ain’t religious, but I crossed myself. Newport whimpered. I said, “I feel you, dog,” under my breath.

“In the third straight year of flooding, the worst yet, one of them kids said he saw a woman walking on the water. Said she had called to him. Called him by his name, and told him to come swim.”

“Oh no,” said Tommy.

“And when the boy said, ‘no,’” Jack’s voice sounded strained, “he said the woman on the water had run after him screaming, and pulled at him with cold, wet hands.”

Tommy shuddered against me.

“The town decided they were cursed. They pooled their money, and decided they were going to send it down to Mexico to bring in a famous curandera.”

More starlings. For a second, the sky was like looking at a film negative of a photographed starry night.

Tommy said, “Was Miz Boudreaux already famous?”

Jack said, “No. Wasn’t her. The town had a barber. Joe Woods. Handsome redbone man. Scoundrel. Anyhow he said he had him a new girlfriend, a rootworker from down New Orleans way, a real voodoo queen. And she would do it for half the price.”

I can always smell a scammer. “Half the price. So he gon’ take most of that as a ‘finder’s fee’.”

Jack said, “All. Auntie Melba was very young, and still fresh to her power. He played on her sympathy and arrogance, and she agreed to do it for free.”

Tommy whistled. “Now if that ain’t a bitch.”

“Auntie Melba came to Paloma Negra with her roots and her powders. With her bone charms, and her scented oils. And she was not ready. See, the town didn’t have a simple haunt she could chase away with loud noises, or trick with an incantation. The flooding was part of the natural way of the land. It seemed bad to the poor folks of the town, but it had always been that way. And it wasn’t no malevolent ghost on the water luring kids. The town had an ancient elemental who was tied to the land.”

The truck’s air conditioning wasn’t doing no kind of job keeping up with the noon sun, but I felt cold. Pushed my sunglasses up the bridge of my nose. “What the land need with some kids?”

“Shit.” She said it long, like sheee-it. “Do I look like a motherfucking elemental entity? I don’t know. Maybe that kid made the whole woman on the water up. But whatever the case, Auntie got into a battle with something ancient.”

“And she survived?” Tommy asked.

“She survived, and somehow she ended up wrapping that thing up in her magic. She couldn’t banish it, but she somehow managed to bind it.”

Biggest cloud of starlings yet. Like a thundercloud with beaks. They flew over the pickup, and for a moment it got dark. Newport howled long and high, and the scattered off into different directions, swirling into shapes like smoke.

Tommy said, “So what happened to the town?”

Jack said, “Well it didn’t flood no more. But then the creek dried up. And the lake turned into stinking mud before it dried up too. And February came and the poppies didn’t.”

I said, “And the town died?”

She said, “This whole valley been dying ever since. Make a right.”

I turned onto a dirt road. Creosote and Joshua trees edged in, but it was still clear enough for the pickup to navigate through. Through the rear view, I could see starlings trailing behind us like the smoke from an old steam engine.

Joshua trees was full of the birds as we got nearer to a cluster of old whitewashed buildings. Bright little eyes was staring out from under spiky branches. It was slow going and bumpy. Newport turned in nervous circles in the truck’s flatbed.

Tommy broke the silence. “Any idea where all these birds come from? It ain’t mating season.”

Jack said, “They’re here because of us.”

I scratched my nose. “Thought we were here to break the spell.”

Jack laughed. “And they sure don’t like that! Auntie Melba put certain workings on to keep that from happening.”

Tommy said. “So we’re protecting you from birds? Like in the movie?”

Jack pointed, “See that church? That’s where we’re going.”

The hills overhead were familiar to me, and I realized we were close to where me and Tommy lived, but on the other side of the promontory. Nestled against the hills at a place where two roads crossed was a small white church. Looked like it was made of mud-brick then painted white, but a very long time ago. Two front windows shuttered over flanked an open doorway. I sparked the truck in front. Newport barked at the church. Tommy got his gun. Jack got her duffel from the back. As we got neared, we could see little spots of sunlight streaming from holes in the roof, dappling the packed earth floor. A musty stank roiled over as we walked in the doorway, like the church itself had bad breath. At the far end was a stained glass window, wavy but mostly intact. Never paid much attention in Sunday School, but I reckon the picture was the Holy Ghost above John the Baptist. Through broken panes, you could see the hills beyond. Black shapes flitted to and fro in the rocks. More starlings.

Newport yowled once, long and sad. Then we heard the sound of wings. The sunlight from above blotted out, and John the Baptist went dark. Jack pulled out a box of kosher salt from her bag. Sprinkled salt in a circle around her. Pulled a little vial of oil from her back pocket and sprinkled three drops on her floor, before tracing a pattern on her forehead. Sat down. She looked at me and Tommy, “What I need y’all to do is kill anything that comes in this space before I finish.”

“Anything?” I asked.

Tommy shouldered his rifle.

Jack started chanting. I moved close to the circle and unsheathed my Bowie knife, which I now regretted picking as my protection weapon. Didn’t reckon I was faster than a bird, but I hoped I could be a last line of defense. Newport growled.

A high, angry screech rattled the roof. Birds crashed into the stained glass, scattering shards across the floor. Newport loped in wide circles snapping at the windows. I tried to keep still and waited, blade up like a movie samurai. The flapping of thousands of wings sounded like a roar. But through the racket, Jack kept on chanting. Sometimes stopping to trace a symbol in the dirt. There was a loud rush, louder than a subway train, only all beating wings. For a second it went quiet. Light streamed in from the holes in the busted-up ceiling. Jack continued her chants. I wanted to laugh, but Newport howled again, and then I saw it through the church’s open door.

The sky was black and purple with thousands and thousands of birds. They swirled downward in an arc. One time, back when me and Tommy was in Wyoming, we saw a twister far off against the plains. Just come clear out of the skies on a summer day. Well, this was like that, only it was all made of birds screaming.

Tommy said, “Here it comes.” He planted his feet.

That bird twister wound tighter and tighter around itself until it was the size of a man. Then, the man-shaped cloud of birds took a step and began to walk. Newport ran to the door. He snapped at the bird-cloud and caught a starling. Shook it between his teeth. But the man-cloud kept on with its steady steps. It shuffled over the doorway and I heard the crack of the rifle. Tommy was a good shot. Hit the cloud dead center. For a tick you could see daylight where that flock’s heart would be. Feathers burst out in a starburst, and starlings dropped to the floor, but then the hole closed up and the flock took another step. Crack. Another dandelion puff of shiny feathers, more birds falling to the floor, but this time it didn’t even break stride. Crack. This time the head scattered outwards, but like before, it continued its path. Crack. In the belly. Them birds screamed, but the cloud kept on coming. I knew Tommy was on his last round with no time to reload. Crack. In the head again. But it kept coming, and Tommy was out of rounds. The bargain was to keep Jack safe until she finished. So I ran full tilt into that cloud like I could tackle it.

They surrounded me. It was musty, smothering darkness. Tiny feet scratching at my eyes, pulling my naps, wings beating me around the head. Little beaks pecking. Shrieks and squawks and somewhere beyond was Newport’s barks. I tried slashing but didn’t feel my knife grant any purchase. Something hard hit me in the shoulder. The butt of Tommy’s rifle. Slashed again, and this time I hit something. Heard an angry shriek. I bit and I shoved. Felt like I couldn’t breathe. And then it stopped. Them birds flew away from me and out the front door.

I sank to my knees. “Babe!” Tommy said, and cradled me in his arms. “Babe, you’re bleeding.”

Jack said, “It’s done. That old heifer made a complicated knot.”

The three of us walked outside into the sunshine with Newport at my heel. I reached down to scratch him behind the ear. Maybe that old smelly hound ain’t so bad afterall.

The sky went dark again, and I tensed up thinking maybe them damn birds had regrouped for a rematch, but it was just clouds of the ordinary kind. Thunder rolled over the red hills, and we were spattered with rain.

Can I tell you how good it felt? Scuffed up, dusty, ashy, stinking of bird must, and then a clean rain comes and washes that away. We should have gone back to the truck. Jack had already loaded up her bag. But that cool rain washed off all that desert funk, and I saw things different. Tommy’s wet hair fell into his eyes, and when he pushed it back, there was a boyish twinkle. The dirt road was already turning into mud, but I ran through it, fucking up my loafers, and I kissed him hard. The way I used to. The way I ain’t done for a long time. He smelled clean and new, like green grass.

Newport ran off after something in one of them ruined buildings, and I let go of Tommy’s hand to chase after him. Tommy stood in that crossroad before the church. I grabbed Newport by the collar, and that’s when I saw it. Water, cascading in rivulets down the hills and over the rocks. It hit the back of that old church in a wave, and put an end to that stained glass window. Roiled around its side. “Tommy!” I shouted, but the stream of it slammed into him and bowled him over. In that second I ain’t think about Miz Boudreaux or his snoring. I didn’t think about his medals for swimming. I jumped into the stream after him.

I don’t know how he found me. But it was Tommy who pulled me out of the water. Tommy whose arms were around me when I bent over double, gasped like a fish and vomited onto the sand. Jack and Newport were quick down the hill after us in the truck, and good thing. As we drove away in the pouring rain, we saw the last of Paloma Negra collapse into a new river.

So I better come clean about my bargain. I asked Miz Boudreaux to give them years to Tommy. I reckon my family is long-lived enough that the death stink she smelt ain’t come from me. I’da gave anything to have one more ride on that red bicycle, even after the color had faded. One more time to catch air and feel like I was the king of the world.

It ain’t all happiness and kisses in the rain. Tommy still snores too loud, and right now we’re holed up in a hotel that smells like mice. See the trailer—I guess I mean mobile home— was on the other side of the promontory, and it got washed away in the storm. We got time and maybe we’ll build a home less liable to roam away when you ain’t looking. For now, there’s just me, and Tommy, and that goddamn hound. But we got each other, and I suppose that’s enough.

 

(Editors’ Note: Christopher Caldwell is interviewed by Caroline M. Yoachim in this issue.)

Earth Dragon, Turning

Downwind from the encampment, the wind stank of refuse. The stench of people weeks into an unwashed trek intensified as Yue Ling limped out of the tree line, raising her hands over her head as she slowly approached the sentries. Both were young, younger than her oldest nephews. They straightened as she got close, hands tightening over their spears. “Who are you? State your business,” said the closest.

“My name is Yue Ling. I’m a medical bak chang seller,” Yue Ling said, twisting her body to show off the large woven basket strapped to her back. “Three wen apiece.”

“Medical bak chang? Never heard of such a thing. Isn’t a medical diet soup and tonics?” The younger sentry scoffed. “How did you even find us? We’re an hour’s walk from the closest village.”

Yue Ling gestured at the muddy scar behind her, a mashed stew of footprints, hoof marks, and cart ruts that wound through the bamboo forest. “Wasn’t hard.”

The other sentry looked at Yue Ling’s travel-stained clothes and gentled his voice. “We can’t let you into the camp, but one of the military doctors is my cousin. I can have him check over your stock. If there’s nothing wrong with it, you can set up shop here for the day. How about that?”

The younger sentry scowled. “We might get into trouble.”

“The food will be safe, and she won’t be entering the camp. Besides, I miss bak chang.”

“Please,” Yue Ling said, unslinging her basket. The younger sentry grumbled but said nothing as his colleague flagged down a passing soldier.

Eventually, another soldier holding a doctor’s box emerged, looking Yue Ling over before bending to inspect her basket with a silver needle. Behind the military doctor walked a tall woman in gold-trimmed black mountain armour that jingled as she walked, a longsword buckled at her hip, and a tasselled spear in hand. As Yue Ling gawked, the sentries saluted, clasping their hands together. “General.”

“Which village are you from?” asked the General. She didn’t look far from Yue Ling’s age, though she did look just as tired.

“To answer General Xie…Yue Village,” Yue Ling said.

“You know me?”

“Even in the village, we heard that the Unbroken Spear was on her way to appease the earth dragon.”

The sentries tensed up—even the doctor looked over. Yue Ling glanced at them, startled. What had she said wrong? However, General Xie merely sniffed. “Appease? That’s a new one.”

“Appease,” Yue Ling said, forcing herself to look the General in the eye. She managed it only for a heartbeat, trembling as she dropped her gaze. General Xie exuded a suffocating aura up close, cold-blooded and unforgiving, forged out of a lifetime spent on the frontier. Her eyes were worse—both pitiless and appraising. A butcher facing a cut of meat.

“Interesting,” General Xie said. She made an impatient gesture at the doctor. “Well?”

“So far, it’s not poisonous, but I haven’t checked through all the bak chang,” the doctor said.

“Check through it, and distribute it however you like. I’ll buy it all.” General Xie dug out three taels from her sleeve and tossed them to Yue Ling.

“This—it’s too much,” Yue Ling protested.

“Think of it as a consultation fee.” General Xie’s mouth curled up at the edges, baring her teeth. “Come. Discuss ‘appeasement’ with me.”

The earth dragon turned when Yue Ling was eight. The initial tremors collapsed the cliff beside her second uncle’s fields, burying the harvest in silt and shattered trees. The aftershocks cracked open a maw between the carpenter’s land and the village chief’s, and shook half the houses in the village apart. It could have been worse. None of the injuries people had suffered were more severe than a fractured limb. They’d picked themselves up and rebuilt, only for the epidemic from the nearby shattered township to spread.

As Yue Ling’s father, the village’s doctor, was going door-to-door checking on patients, her mother taught her to make bak chang for the first time. They squatted together in the yard of their small house, beside a wooden bucket of glutinous rice, mushrooms marinated in medical tonics, mung beans, chestnuts, ginger, and reams of cooking strings. There would have been chunks of pork belly and sausage in better years, but it had been a lean year even before the dragon had turned. The sheaves of pre-soaked bamboo leaves had been carefully inked the night before with edible dyes, the blessing-scripts forming long talismans that would soak into the rice when steamed. A craft that was a family secret, passed down from her mother.

Yue Ling overlapped two bamboo leaves into a cross, forming a cone in the centre. First some glutinous rice, then some of the stuffing, then more of the rice. Yue Ling’s fingers grew clumsy as she tried to fold the ends of the leaves inwards, sometimes spilling bits of the precious ingredients. While her mother tied perfect pyramids each time, Yue Ling’s grew increasingly misshapen. When her latest attempt looked more like a brick than a cone, she looked at her mother in embarrassment.

Last year, her mother would’ve clicked her tongue and told her to refold it. She would say that the art of making medicated food lay not only in the choice of effective ingredients but also in the detail and care with which it was made. That day, Yue Ling didn’t even get more than a glance as her mother took the pouch from her and set it with the rest. Exhaustion and worry had gouged dark hollows beneath her parents’ eyes. Sweat flattened her mother’s greying hair against her bun in the humidity.

“Mother, don’t worry. Things will be fine,” Yue Ling said, trying to sound confident. “The village chief said that the magistrate will have to handle it, and that the Imperial court will send doctors.”

Her mother laughed, a brittle sound. “Better to hope that your father can handle it.”

“The chief was wrong?” The chief had never struck Yue Ling as a liar.

“He will be wrong.” Her mother tied off another perfect pyramid, setting it aside. “Do you know why the earth dragon turns?”

No one had ever mentioned such a creature to Yue Ling before, not until it had flattened half the village from afar. She shook her head.

“Some believe it to be a form of Heaven’s punishment on the Imperial Court. The Emperor will often issue an invitation of guilt—asking officials to criticise his mandate. They’d collectively decide that it’d be something like having to repair the Imperial Mausoleum, or stop building the latest Autumn Palace, or cease sabre-rattling on the border.” Another brittle laugh. “As the tremors fade, so will their fear. Those whom the dragon buried in its grief will be forgotten, because we were never all that important.”

Yue Ling blinked. She’d never heard her mother say so much before, or even mention the court. She’d known that her family had moved to Yue Village from elsewhere, but had never been told where. Her mother was literate—unusual for a woman. Even as her mother taught her with a stick and a tray of sand her letters, she had also warned Yue Ling not to mention it to others. It was to be their little secret—one of many.

As her mother began to fill another bak chang, Yue Ling asked, “Why is the earth dragon so sad?”

“Why not?” Her mother didn’t even look up. “The world is a miserable place. You will see.”

So she saw. The village chief was wrong; her mother was right. There was no help from the magistrate or the faraway Imperial Court. Not then for the quake, nor for the drought period after, or the destructive floods but months ago when the dam had cracked from heavy rainfall. Yue Ling had grown to expect no less.

“Shouldn’t your recipe be a family secret?”

Yue Ling glanced at General Xie, then continued guiding the boy beside her how to wrap a pyramid. His efforts bulged at the seams, leaking rice at the tips. “I have no family, so there’s no point keeping secrets,” she said.

The closest soldiers—all no more than children—stared at her with sympathy or horror. General Xie, however, let out a snort and squatted opposite Yue Ling, picking up a pair of bamboo leaves. “Shouldn’t a gentleman be far from the kitchen?” Yue Ling asked with a smile.

“I’m a woman, and besides, that’s a misinterpretation of Mencius.” General Xie’s efforts were worse than her men. Rice and bits of mushroom spilt over her callused fingers.

“You’ve studied the classics?” Yue Ling asked, surprised.

“So have you, by the sounds of it.” General Xie pointed out. “I should be more surprised about you.”

“My father was a scholar,” Yue Ling said, though it wasn’t her father who taught her.

“Either he was a rare and broad-minded man, or he wasn’t your teacher.” General Xie glanced at the work of the soldier beside her, copying the wrapping method. When Yue Ling didn’t speak, General Xie looked back at her. “Am I right?”

“Quite so,” Yue Ling said.

“Your mother enlightened you?” At Yue Ling’s nod, General Xie exhaled. “She must either be a rare parent in turn or a singular talent.”

“She was one of a kind.”

“Then her life would’ve been a tragedy.” General Xie spoke with such certainty that Yue Ling stared at her. “Easy enough to guess from your reduced circumstances. There would be few instances why a literate woman would marry a poor scholar, if that was what your father was. Worse, a talented woman, however talented, could never sit for the Imperial examination. Rather, the only way she could improve her life would be through business—which a scholarly family would disdain—or through marriage. Life must have been hard to accept.”

“She said that the dragon turns because of grief,” Yue Ling said. The General’s words stung anew, even though Yue Ling had long thought herself immune to her mother’s bitterness. The sourness that lingered from the slow death of her mother’s dreams was everywhere in Yue Ling’s house still—from the yellowing scrolls of exquisite calligraphy hung on the walls, to the inkstones that, while expensive, had never been sold no matter how hungry they were.

“That’s a new one,” the General said, chuckling.

“I heard it’s Heaven’s punishment,” said one of the soldiers, if in a small voice, peeking at General Xie to gauge her mood.

“Pssh. Heaven doesn’t care. Like his father, the current Son of Heaven spends his time either lingering in the harem or wasting money on fake alchemy, trying to find a way to live forever. Powerful eunuchs and Imperial Concubine factions vie with corrupt ministers for control of the court. If anything, Heaven is entertained at the farce that mortal existence has become in this part of the world—otherwise, why has it been permitted to go on like this for two generations?” General Xie tied off her bak chang with too much force, squishing it into bulging.

Horrified, Yue Ling said, “Should you be saying this of the emperor?” Would even listening to such a thing be considered treason?

General Xie sneered. “The court is far away, and this army is my family’s. It’s not a rare sentiment out on the frontier.”

“Oh.” Yue Ling hadn’t known that.

“Still, it’s proof that your mother’s theory about the dragon is wrong. If it’s turning because it’s sad about the world, it’d be turning all the time. People can spend thousands of taels on a single altar of wine in the Imperial capital, while the road from there to the frontier is lined with bones that grow ever colder each year.” General Xie tossed the misshapen bak chang aside.

“So why do you think it turns?” Yue Ling asked.

“If there truly is such a thing as an earth dragon? It turns because it’s what it does,” General Xie said. She looked toward the horizon, broken by the unforgiving heat into a wavering line. “Just as we’re here to do what we’re meant to do.”

“A creature powerful enough to shake the land—can you kill something like that with mortal means?”

“A creature whose uneasy sleep flattens entire villages for thousands of li around its nest—can you appease such a thing?” General Xie smiled mockingly. “You, a bak chang merchant?”

Small wonder, despite the words at the gate, General Xie had not asked Yue Ling for her plans. She never believed in them at all. Yue Ling pressed her fingertips into her palms and dredged up all the patience she could manage. “The makers of medicated meals try to address the cause of a problem—while managing its symptoms. I can but try.”

“So can we.” General Xie nodded at the heavily guarded section of the encampment, full of wagons packed with dry hay. “Those crates are filled with zhentianlei. Gunpowder bombs, enough to shake the heavens themselves. Just like their namesake, or so I hope.”

Yue Ling’s hands flew to her mouth. “You can’t do that! The earth dragon is a sacred beast.”

“What did you think we were here to do?” General Xie asked, amused. “Seek forgiveness and invite guilt? One does not seek forgiveness by deploying an army. Besides, the dragon might be sacred, but it is still only a beast. Flawed as he is, the Emperor’s word is law.”

“You.” Yue Ling searched General Xie’s blank expression. “You believe that? Aren’t you afraid of the Gods?”

“Grief, judgment, the Gods—all I know is that the dragon’s current movements have already killed a thousand people.” General Xie’s fingertips stroked lightly over the hilt of her sword. “To me, such a deed deserves a fitting response.”

As the matchmaker left the house, Yue Ling peeked out of her room. Her father rose and left, mumbling something about having to check on a patient. The strained smile froze and ebbed off her mother’s face. “Come here,” said her mother. “Sit.”

Yue Ling poured tea for them both into cold cups, the words she wished to say staying blocked in her throat. The matchmaker had come on behalf of the owner of an apothecary in town, a man twenty years older than her. “You aren’t happy,” said her mother.

“Marriage is a matter to be decided by my parents,” Yue Ling said.

Her mother sniffed. “If I believed that, you’d never have been born. But perhaps that would have been for the best.” At the sharp look Yue Ling shot her, her mother sipped her tea, looking out of the open door. “Some days, I think my mother was right after all. The love of a man, however good, is an intangible thing. You cannot eat it, wear it, or be housed by it alone.”

“Father…” Yue Ling’s voice trailed off. She grasped her mother’s palms, rubbing callused skin. “Mother, have you suffered any grievances?”

“Life is so often a series of tolerable grievances.” Her mother stroked Yue Ling’s hair but didn’t look at her. “Perhaps in another life, I did not elope for love. Perhaps I married the Jinshi scholar my parents arranged for me, a man who would have, in time, have married two other wives and four concubines. As is the custom for people of influence and wealth. I would have been one talented woman of a few, trapped in the backyard of a house, with little to do but to nurse a different set of grievances.”

“Is it so painful to be alive?” Yue Ling asked, taken aback. Her mother had always seemed too indifferent for grievances.

“Only for the unreconciled.” Anger sparked in her mother’s dark eyes, only to flicker and go out as she looked at Yue Ling.

“Are you and Father going to marry me to Apothecary Luo?”

“What do you think?”

“He already has a wife and a concubine.”

“He has two daughters and no sons.” Her mother’s dark, blank eyes frightened Yue Ling more than her briefly shown temper. “Your marriage will be a transaction and a gamble. If you can give him a son, your position in his family will be stable.”

“Once you married for love,” Yue Ling said, pained. “Would you deny your daughter the same?”

“In my ignorance, I moved from one cage to another, thinking that was all the choice I had.” Her mother’s hand fell to Yue Ling’s shoulder, squeezing tightly. “If you can find a third way—by all means. But I’ll tell you one thing about love. It is a fickle thing, easily twisted. People who live in its name are fools: the person you should first love most is yourself. To do otherwise is to live in a constant state of self-immolation, which is not something I wish on anyone.” Yet even as her mother spoke, her gaze drifted to the door, chasing the shadow of a man who was no longer physically present.

Closer to the epicentre, tiered rice fields collapsed into muddy lakes littered with fragments of stone and attap roofing. Sombre villagers sifted through the muck, pulling out the dead for burial. In the thickening heat, no one had the energy for grief. Clouds of flies lifted off the stinking silt and resettled further away as the army marched past.

The dragon’s tail lay beached in what had once been a vegetable garden. The pale heads of young cabbages still floated in the muck, rotting in the sun beside a thick coil that tapered down from a height taller than a house to a blunt tip. Under the mud, the segmented length was as pale as new ivory. It looked like a dead thing, but Yue Ling and the soldiers beside her gasped and shivered as General Xie poked it with the tip of her spear.

No movement. The spear glanced off the segmented flank as General Xie stabbed at a jointed seam. “Huh.” General Xie smiled in delight, baring her sharp teeth.

“Is it already dead?” ventured her lieutenant.

“Does it look dead to you?” General Xie pointed at the carcass of a dead goat arranged at a makeshift shrine close to the dragon’s tail, already thick with files. The goat’s open eyes stared accusingly at the contingent, blaming them for being late. “Besides.” She pressed her palm to the segment, stroking it lovingly. “It’s still warm.”

Yue Ling shivered. Her reaction didn’t go unnoticed. General Xie’s gaze swung over to her, as pitiless as ever. “Well? Are you going to start appeasing it?”

Thankfully, no one laughed. The soldiers behind her looked overwhelmed, staring at the size of the beast before them. Yue Ling shifted the pack of bak chang she had made during the night and ducked her head, walking past the arc of the beached tail. The mud and shattered village buried the rest of the dragon from where she stood, but it wasn’t hard to guess where it was. Uneven humps and unnatural valleys scarred the land as a new, miniature mountain ridge snaked through the rice fields toward the forest.

General Xie caught up when Yue Ling had trudged past the boundary of the village lands to the edge of the bamboo forest. Her warhorse snorted loudly, fighting the reins, infected by her owner’s mood. Eager to charge. Yet General Xie said, “I was rude.”

“Not at all.”

“I’m here because of an Imperial edict. You’re here out of good faith. The words I said were unkind.”

Yue Ling gave the General a weary look. “General Xie, why do you think I’m here? If I were here out of charity, why am I doing business? Why not give away all my stock to the survivors we passed?”

General Xie began to speak and hesitated, tilting her head appraisingly. “What then?”

“My mother’s soul never returned to her remains. Instead, the earth dragon turned on the seventh day of her wake.”

Yue Ling braced herself for General Xie to scoff. Instead, General Xie said gently, “Sometimes we wish that a loved one’s death could have more meaning than it did.”

“Perhaps so.” As the quake shook the village apart, the dragon’s grief had echoed through the ground itself. Threaded through the rumbling consonants of its pain, Yue Ling had heard her mother’s joyous laughter.

As the matchmaker returned Yue Ling’s geng tie to their house, formally cancelling the engagement with Apothecary Luo, her father exhaled but said nothing. Her mother, however, gave Yue Ling a long and assessing look, one of both pity and respect. As her father left for the clinic, Yue Ling sat to marinate barrels of pork belly in tonics while her mother washed the rice.

“The rumours circulating that we deemed you infertile—those were from you?” her mother asked as Yue Ling poured soy sauce into the barrel. “Heavy-handed. Why choose a method that would hurt you so badly? Now you can never marry.”

“Mother.” Yue Ling looked up from the barrel. “You were the one who told me to find a third way.”

“Not like this.”

“Rather than placing my well-being into the hands of another soul, I’d rather live alone.”

“The hardest path.” Her mother shook her head, though she smiled as she said, “Unfilial child.”

“Filial piety is a shackle that yokes people to a narrow way of living, creating a world where happiness is irrelevant. I won’t marry anyone I don’t want to marry. Or have children who I may never be willing to love.”

Her mother began to speak and paused at the faint sound of a baby’s cry from deeper within their new house. The growing success of their medicated food meant being able to build Yue Ling’s father a clinic, a synergistic arrangement that gave their products a respectable shop in turn. Yet their newfound blessings had created a strain on her parents that Yue Ling hadn’t seen coming, although she should have known.

Men of wealth and influence. The new concubine had quickly given Yue Ling a younger brother. Her mother had offered no open judgment about her father’s choices, even though it had to hurt. “Do you regret it now?” Yue Ling asked as the baby’s cries grew louder.

“I could have left your father any time I wanted if I so wished,” her mother said. Yue Ling had taken that as an answer and had relaxed, more fool her. Small gestures had never been in her mother’s nature.

The earth dragon’s head lay partially exposed at the bottom of a new chasm, breathing slowly as water dripped down onto its snout from broken branches. It resembled an immense gecko, bone-white under splotches of mud—nothing like the elaborate bearded and horned serpents that Yue Ling had seen in her father’s books. Eyes larger than Yue Ling’s head blinked slowly in the muck, the multiple eyelids flicking slowly over unsettlingly human pupils. Four eyes tracked Yue Ling’s movements as she peered along the chasm for a way down. A patch of mud buried the third, and the land ate the rest.

“Tian.” General Xie whistled. “The damned thing’s real.”

“Wasn’t that obvious from the tail?” Yue Ling’s voice sounded strangled to her ears.

“I was hoping… Never mind.”

“Are you still planning on bombing it?” Behind them, soldiers were struggling to move the wagons through the forest. It’d take over a week to clear the bamboo and rubble from the collapsed cliffs.

“In time. I’ve bagged wolves, tigers, even a black bear. This will just be the biggest thing I’ve tried to kill yet.”

Yue Ling shivered. “You aren’t afraid at all? It’s the largest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Death is a part of life.” General Xie walked over to a fallen tree trunk and kicked it, sending part of it teetering into the chasm as a narrow bridge down. “I tried to escape marriage when I was fourteen. Dressed as a boy, I ran away to the frontier to enlist as a soldier. My first battle was a disaster—my commanding officer made reckless mistakes. I spent three days buried under the bodies of my new contingent, slowly suffocating. Boys who were not all that much older than me. Somehow, I lived.” General Xie grinned at Yue Ling, as merciless as ever. “Now, I fear nothing. Because I feel nothing.”

“That…” Yue Ling swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

“Why? It had nothing to do with you. To escape the lives set out for people like us requires extraordinary payment. I understood what I was paying for, even then.” Qinggong took General Xie gracefully to the bottom of the chasm. Yue Ling steeled herself, trembling as she forced herself to the edge. She dared not look at the earth dragon as she climbed down the tree, her fingers shaking so much that she slipped down the trunk near the end, landing on her knees in the muck with a stifled cry. On the bottom, close enough to breathe in the animal stink of the creature’s breath, the dragon seemed even bigger than it’d looked from above.

“Now what?” General Xie asked.

Yue Ling flinched. “General?”

“You believe it moved because of your mother, don’t you?” General Xie made an inviting gesture at the dragon’s snout. “Go on then.”

Yue Ling clenched her hands into fists and swallowed the biting words on her tongue. As she forced herself to take another step closer, the dragon huffed. Yue Ling skittered back a step and steadied herself against the wall. As she pressed her hand to her chest and tried to slow down her breathing, General Xie said, “Had enough?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just a beast.” General Xie walked up beside her. “It turns the earth because it turns, the way phoenixes burn and qilin heal. Look at how exquisite it is. How can something so majestic have anything to do with something as complex and ugly and petty as human grievance?”

“But…my mother—”

“If your mother had enough resentments that she refused to reincarnate, she’s probably haunting the cause. Not sunk into a dragon hundreds of li from your village.” General Xie clapped Yue Ling on the shoulder. “Go home and mourn.”

“I didn’t say that she was haunting the dragon,” Yue Ling said, shifting out of General Xie’s grip. “Not in the way that you think.” She pulled the basket from her shoulders as she approached, looping the straps around her wrists so that she wouldn’t drop it and lose her nerve. The dragon’s breathing deepened as Yue Ling drew closer. Close enough that she could see the pearlescent sheen of its skin.

“Yue Ling,” General Xie warned.

“Shh! Stay there.” Sweat stuck Yue Ling’s clothes to her skin. At her next step, the dragon huffed, twisting to shake its head free of the dirt. Eyelids swept down over eight sets of eyes, flicking open and closed as the dragon lifted its muzzle off the ground.

Somehow, Yue Ling managed the presence of mind to spill the bak chang she had made before the day’s march on the ground. As she took a few steps back, the dragon sniffed the air, then tilted its head to inspect the bak chang scattered over the earth. General Xie sucked in a startled breath as a liver-coloured tongue snaked out from the dragon’s muzzle, gathering up most of the bak chang in a muddy swipe and swallowing them all whole. Its eyes flickered in pleasure as it ate, humming loudly enough to shake the ground beneath their feet. Twisting in its coffin of earth, it turned its long snout this way and that, studying General Xie and Yue Ling with too-human eyes. Then it withdrew into the soil, the rubble closing over its pupils in a crumbling blanket, sealing away the traces of the divine beneath the earth as the tunnel its body had made collapsed after it.

As Yue Ling sank onto her haunches with an unsteady gasp, General Xie walked over to one of the remaining bak chang, pulling it open. She raced a thumb over the dense script that lined the inner leaf wrapping, then raised the cooked rice to her nose for a sniff. Pulling the bak chang open, General Xie prodded at the contents, then rewrapped it with care and tossed it to the ground. “The filling today. That isn’t pork, is it?”

“No.”

“Someone important to your mother?”

“Unfortunately.” Love was not enough, but sometimes, obsession could be.

“Did you kill them?”

“No.” Her father had died of a heart attack a day after her mother’s passing. The neighbours claimed it was grief. Yue Ling knew better.

“Then I’d leave it out of my report.” General Xie leapt nimbly out of the chasm.

“Are you still going to chase after the dragon?” At General Xie’s nod, Yue Ling gave her a look of disbelief. “But you’ve seen proof of what might be driving it.”

“Human suffering?” General Xie looked away at the forest. “Humans have been the cause of each other’s suffering since the beginning of time. It’s easier to slay a dragon than change our nature. Whether the earth dragon turns out of grief or not doesn’t change the fact that it will do it again in a year or ten. Besides, I’ve come this far.”

Yue Ling grimaced. “I’d wish you luck, but it wouldn’t be heartfelt.”

General Xie laughed. “You make good dumplings, and you have a sturdy spine. If you ever come to the capital and need a business partner, look for me at the general’s mansion.”

Yue Ling watched General Xie go, shouting orders at her men. Alone in the chasm, Yue Ling bent, picking up the bak chang that remained. She piled them against the newly softened soil in the dragon’s wake and scooped wet earth over them until the bamboo wrappers could no longer be seen. Backing away, Yue Ling went down on her hands and knees, kowtowing thrice, pressing her forehead to the dirt. Then she rose to her feet and began to climb.

A Fall Counts Anywhere

The late summer sun melts over a ring of toadstools twenty feet tall. On one side, a mass of glitter and veiny neon wings. On the other, a buzzing mountain of metal and electricity. The stands soar up to the heat-sink of heaven. Three thousand seats and every one sold to a screamer, a chanter, a stomper, a drunk, a betting man.

Two crimson leaves drift slowly through the crisp, clear air. They catch the red-gold twilight as they chase each other, turning, end over end, stem over tip, and land in the center of the grassy ring like lonely drops of blood. But in the next moment, the sheer force of decibel-mocking, eardrum-executing, sternum-cracking volume blows them up toward the clouds again, up and away, high and wide over the shrieking crowd, the popcorn-sellers and the beer-barkers, the kerosene-hawkers and the aelfwine-merchants, until those red, red leaves come to rest against a pair of microphones. The silvery fingers of a tall, lithe woman stroke the golden veins of the leaf with a deep melancholy you can see from the cheap seats, from the nosebleeds. She has the wings of a monarch butterfly, hair out of a belladonna-induced nightmare, and eyes the color of the end of all things. The other mic is gripped in the bolt-action fist of a barrel-chested metal man, a friendly middle-class working stiff cast in platinum and ceramic and copper. His mouth lights up with a dance of blue and green electricity that looks almost, but not entirely comfortably, like teeth.

 

—LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ANDROIDS AND ANDROGYNES, SPRITES AND SPROCKETS, WELCOME TO THE ONE YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, THE BIG SHOW, THE RUMBLE IN THE FUNGAL, THE BRAWL IN THE FALL, THE TWILIGHT PRIZEFIGHT OF WILD WIGHT AGAINST METAL MIGHT! THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S TIME TO ROCK THE EQUINOX! IT’S THE TWELFTH ANNUAL ALL SOULS’ CLEEEEAVE! STRAP YOURSELVES IN FOR THE MOST EPIC BATTLE ROYAL OF ALL TIME! ROBOTS VS. FAIRIES, MAGIC VS. MICROCHIP, THE AGRARIAN VS. THE AUTOMATON, SEELIE VS. SOLID STATE, ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE VS INTELLIGENT ARTIFICE! I AM YOUR HOST, THE THINK version 3.4.1 copyright Cogitotech Industries all SUPER EXTREME rights SUPER EXTREMELY reserved. If you agree to the Think’s MASSIVELY MIND-BLOWING and FULLY-LOADED terms and restrictions please indicate both group and individual consent via the RADICALLY ERGONOMIC numerical pad on your armrest. 67% group consent is required by law for the Think to proceed AWWWW YEAH 99% INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY COMPLIANCE ACHIEVED! LET’S HEAR IT FOR OUR STONE COLD SECURITY TEAM AS THEY MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE MEGA-BUMMER HOLD-OUT IN SEAT 42D! ALL RIGHT! HERE WE GO! NOW, THIS TIME WE’VE GOT A SHOCKING TWIST FOR YOU EAGER REAVERS! TONIGHT ON THE SUNDOWN SHOWDOWN, THE FANS BRING THE WEAPONS! THAT’S RIGHT, THE CODE CRUSHERS AND THE SPELL SLAYERS WILL THROW DOWN WITH WHATEVER GARBAGE YOU’VE BROUGHT FROM HOME! PLEASE DEPOSIT YOUR TRASH, FLASH AND BARELY-LEGAL ORDNANCE WITH AN USHER BEFORE THE FIRST BELL OR YOU WILL MISS THE HELL OUUUUUUT! Cogitotech Industries and the Non-Primate Combat Federation (NPCF) are not responsible for any COMPLETELY HILARIOUS ancillary injuries, plagues, transformations, madnesses, amnesias, or deaths caused by either attendee-provided weaponry or munitions natural to NPCF fighters. Spectate at your own risk. ARE YOU READY, HUMAN SCUM? YOU WANNA BLAST FROM THE VAST BEYOND BLOWING OUT YOUR BRAIN CELLS? WELL, BUCKLE UP FOR THE MAIN EVENT, THE GRAND SLAMMER OF PROGRAMMER AGAINST ANCIENT GLAMOUR! LET’S GET READY TO GLIIIIITTTTTER! WITH ME AS ALWAYS IS MY PARTNER IN PRIME TIME, THE UNCANNY UNDINE, THE PIXIE PULVERIZER, FORMER HEAVY DIVISION WORLD CHAMPION AND THE KING OF ELFLAND’S DAUGHTER, MANZANILLA MONSOOOON!

—Good evening, Lord Think. I am gratified to sit at your side once more beneath the divinity of oncoming starlight on this most hallowed of nights and perform feats of commentary for the capacity crowd here at Dunsany Gardens.

—DON’T YOU MEAN CAPACITOR CROWD? HA. HA. HA.

—I do not. When I say a thing, I mean it, and always shall mean it, without alteration, to the the deepest profundity of time.

—OH, WHAT’S THAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU! IT SEEMS LIKE THE AUDIENCE DISAGREES WITH YOU, BABY! YES! YEAH! THE THINK DESTROYS PUNS! THE THINK REQUIRES LAUGHTER TO LIVE! THAT IS NOT ONE OF THE THINK’S BONE-FRACTURING COMEDIC INTERJECTIONS THE THINK’S BATTERY IS PARTIALLY RECHARGED BY INTENSE SONIC VIBRATIONS patent #355567UA891 Cogitotech Industries if you can hear this you are in violation of TOTALLY BANGING patent law CAN YOU DIG IT I “THINK” YOU CAN!

—Was it with puns that my Lord Think defeated the immortal and honorable warrior Rumplestiltskin at Electroclash Nineteen?

—NO, THE THINK USED HIS FAMOUS ATOMIC DROP MOVE ON RUMPER’S PREHISTORIC SKULL! HE TRIED TO TURN THE THINK TO GOLD BUT THE THINK IS ALREADY 37% GOLD BY WEIGHT! THE THINK’S INTERNAL MECHANISMS AND PROCESSING POWER WERE ONLY IMPROOOOOOVED! AND WHAT ABOUT YOU, MANZANILLA? DID YOU USE YOUR FANCY POETRY TO TAKE DOWN THE TIN MAN AT ELECTROCLASH TWENTY? The Tin Man is the intellectual and physical property of Delenda Technologies, all rights reserved.

—Of course. How else should a fairy maid do battle but with the poems of her people? I told the Tin Man a poem and he turned into a pale lily at my feet. His petals were the color of my triumph. They sang the eddas of victory in the camps for weeks afterward. Oh, how our trembling songs of hope shook the iron gates! So many thirsting mouths breathed my name that it fogged the belly of the moon. Those were the days, Lord Think, those were the days! Retirement sits uneasy upon the prongs of my soul, my metal friend, uneasy and unkind.

—THE TIN MAN SHOULD HAVE HAD HIS ANTI-TRANSMOGRFICATION SOFTWARE UPDATED. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR GETTING TURNED INTO A LILY IN THE FIRST ROUND. Delenda Technologies updates all its software regularly and takes no responsibility for the demise of the AMAZING UNDEFEATABLE Tin Man. Corporate reiterates for the ALL NIGHT ROCKIN’ record that it can make no statement, official or otherwise, as to his current whereabouts. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THE PAST! SHALL WE MEET TONIGHT’S FIGHTERS?

—I suppose we must. You are impatient monsters, are you not, human horde? You will not wait quietly for your orgy of bones! You feed upon our blood and their oil as my kind feeds upon dew and deep sap! Come, wicked stepchildren of the world! Scream me down as you love to do! Hate me wholly and I will sleep soundly tonight! Do you want the names of the damned sent to die for your joy? Do you? You are a farce of fools, all of you, to the last mediocre monkey among your throng! What is a name but the shape dust takes when the wind has gone? The mill of fate grinds wheat and chaff alike—beneath that heavy stone we are all but poor grist. Crushed together, we become one, without need for names.

—MAYBE MANZANILLA MONSOON NEEDS HER SOFTWARE UPDATED AND/OR A NAAAAP! NAMES ARE NECESSARY FOR THE THINK TO PERFORM HIS SUPER SWEET PRIMARY ANNOUNCER FUNCTIONS. WE’VE GOT ALL THE STARS HERE TONIGHT, FOLKS, FORTY OF THE HOTTEST FIGHTERS ON THE CIRCUIT! YOU WANT THE FANTASTICALLY FURIOUS FEY? WE GOT MORGAN HERSELF COMIN’ AT YA STRAIGHT OUT OF AVALON WITH A CIDER HANGOVER SO BRUTAL IT COULD SIT ON THE THRONE OF BRITAIN! YOU WANT FEROCIOUSLY FEARSOME FABRICATIONS? THE TURING TEST IS IN THE HOUSE AND HIS SAFETY FIREWALLS ARE FULLY DISABLED! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? ARE YOU READY? IT’S THE BIG BATTLE OF THE BINARY AGAINST THE BLACK ARTS! WHO WILL TRIUMPH?

—They will, Lord Think. They always do.

—DEPRESSING! OKAY! REMEMBER, THIS IS A BATTLE ROYAL AND A HARDCORE MATCH. NO HOLDS BARRED. NO DISQUALIFICATIONS. NO SUBMISSIONS ACCEPTED. AND A FALL COUNTS ANYWHERE! WHEREVER ONE OF OUR FIGHTERS CAN PIN THE OTHER, IN THE RING OR TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW ON THE ARCTIC CIRCLE, IT COUNTS AND COUNTS HARD! BUT OF COURSE, WE WANT A FAIR FIGHT, DON’T WE, FELLOW COMMENTATOR? The NPCF wishes to note that word ‘fair’ has recently been determined to possess no litigable meaning by the IOC, FBI, FDA, IMF, PTA, or FEMA NONE OF THE MACHINES TONIGHT HAVE ANY IRON COMPONENTS, AND NONE OF THE PIXIES ARE CARRYING EMP DEVICES, ISN’T THAT RIGHT?

— I find the term pixie offensive, Lord Think, I have told you as many times as there are acorns fallen upon the autumn fields. But you are correct. My people have a deathly aversion to iron, and yours have a vicious allergy to electro-magnetic pulses. Given that the summer skies were filled with crackling storms of controversy and accusations of duplicity like lightning in the night this past year, the NPCF has banned both advantages.

—THE THINK GETS ANGRY WHEN PEOPLE SAY OUR FIGHTS ARE FIXED! THE THINK HAS DEVOTED HIS LIFE life is a registered trademark of Cogitotech Industries, subject to some rules and restrictions TO THE NON-PRIMATE COMBAT FEDERATION IN ORDER TO PROVIDE THE HIGHEST QUALITY VIOLENCE, INTERCULTURAL CATHARSIS, AND KICKASS RAGE-ERTAINMENT FOR THE MASSES! THE ALL SOULS’ CLEAVE IS THE FIRST OFFICIAL IRON-FREE, PULSE-FREE FIGHT EVER, SO LET’S SHOW THE WORLD HOW TRUSTWORTHY WE TINS AND TWINKLES CAN BE! MAYBE THIS EXTREME MEGA THUNDERBASH WILL FINALLY SHUT EVERYONE THE HELL UP!

—Free of iron save our ringside friends from the NPCF, of course. Hello, boys. Don’t our security androids look handsome in their fierce ferrous finery?

—THE THINK DOESN’T UNDERSTAND WHY HIS FELLOW ANNOUNCER HAS TO BE NASTY ABOUT IT. THE THINK WENT TO COLLEGE WITH A SECURITY BOT! THE NPCF IS CONTRACTUALLY, MORALLY, AND TOTALLY ENTHUSIASTICALLY OBLIGATED TO PROVIDE REASONABLE SAFETY MEASURES FOR ITS PATRONS! YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT A PIXIE…ONE OF THE FAIR FOLK WILL DO IF YOU DON’T KEEP AN IRON EYE ON THEM! NOW, TELL THEM ABOUT THE DRAWS, MANZY, OR THE THINK IS GONNA HAVE TO BREAK SOMETHING JUST TO GET THINGS STARTED!

—I shall give unto you a vow, worms. A vow as ancient as the oak at the heart of the world and as unbreakable as the pillars of destiny. I vow to you by the stars’ last song that the draws have been determined by an unbiased warlock pulling guild-verified identical numbered bezoars from a regulation cauldron. The results are completely random. The first bout will last for three turns of the swiftest clock hand. Afterward, two new fighters will enter the ring every time ninety grains of ephemeral and unretrievable sand pool into the bowels of the hourglass at my side until the royal cohort is complete.

—THE LAST MAN STANDING GETS THE ENVY OF THEIR PEERS, THE HEAVYWEIGHT WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP DRIVE BELT, AND A BANK-SHATTERING MEGA-BUCKS PRIZE PURSE PROVIDED BY COGITOTECH INDUSTRIES AND THE NPCF! The SICKENINGLY AWESOME AND FULLY LEGISLATED phrase ‘bank-shattering mega-bucks prize purse’ does not comprise any specific fiscal obligation on the part of Cogitotech Industries, the NPCF, or their subsidiaries. All payouts subject to SUPREMELY RADICAL rules, restrictions, taxation, and all applicable contractual morality clauses. In the event of a fairy victory, Aphrodite’s Belt of All Desire may be substituted for the Heavyweight World Championship Drive Belt™ upon request.

—The last soul standing gets their freedom, Lord Think. As we did, you and I. What is a belt to that? What is money or fame?

—AAAAAND ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE ARENA, WEIGHING IN AT A COMBINED SIX THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED AND SIX POUNDS, IT’S THE “UNSEELIE COURT”! THEY’RE THE HORDE YOU LOVE TO HATE—GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR FAVORITE TRICKSTERS, TERRORS, AND GOBS OF NO-GOOD GOBLINS! MR. FOX! OLEANDER HEX! THE FLAMING SPIRIT OF SHADOW AND STORM WHOSE GROANS PENETRATE THE BREASTS OF EVER-ANGRY BEARS, ARIEL, THE ELECTRIC EXEUNTER! BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! BOG “THE MOONLIT MAN” HART IS HERE! AND HE’S BROUGHT FRIENDS! BEANSTALK THE GIANT! ROCK HARD ROBIN REDCAP! SLAM LIN! THE GODMOTHER! TINKERHELL! THE GRAVEDIGGER! THE COTTINGLEY CRUSHERS! DENMARK’S OWN HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN! WE’VE GOT THE BLUE FAIRY TO MAKE REAL BOYS OUT OF THOSE TIN TOYS ON THE OTHER END OF THE RING! THE TOOTH FAIRY’S GONNA STEAL YOUR MOLARS AND THE SUGAR SLUM FAIRY’S GONNA CRACK YOUR NUTS! LOOK OUT, IT’S THE TERRIFYING TAG TEAM ALL THE WAY FROM THE WILDS OF GREECE, MUSTARDSEED THE MARAUDER AND PEASEBLOSSOM THE PUNISHER! LAST BUT NOT LEAST, PUTTING THE ROYAL IN BATTLE ROYAL, QUEEN MAB THE MAGNIFICENT, KILLER KING OBERON, AND, AS PROMISED, MORGAN “MAMA BEAR” LE FAAAAAY!

—My friends, my friends, my lovers and my comrades, my family, my heart. Be not afraid, I, at least, am with thee till the end. Death is but a trick of the light.

—MANZANILLA MONSOON NEEDS TO FOCUS ON THE NOW, AW YEAH! MAYBE YOU FOLKS AREN’T CHEERING LOUD ENOUGH TO GET M SQUARED’S HEAD IN THE GAME! LOUDER! LOUDER! THE THINK CAN’T HEAR YOU!

—Quite right, my Lord. I had forgot myself. Forgive me. On the dexterous side of the toadstool ring, weighing in at a total combined seventeen point six nine one imperial tons, the “Robot Apocalypse” has come for us all. May I present to the collective maw of your ravenous, unslakable lust, the punchcard paladins so beloved to you all, so long as they confine their violence to wing and wand, of course. Raise up your voices to the heavens for the massive might of the Mechanical Turk! What he lacks in design aesthetic he makes up in pure digital rage! The Neural Knight is firing up his infamous Bionic Elbow for a second chance against Slam Lin, and the pitiless grip of User Error has slouched at last toward Dunsany Gardens. Bow your primate heads in awe of the Dismemberment Engine! The Compiler! The Immutable Object! Gort! And the merciless Mr. FORTRAN! Fix your porcine mortal eyes upon the cloud of thought encased within an orb of radioactive glass known only as the Singularity! Quiver in terror before the supremacy of Strong AI, this year’s undefeated champion! Chant the name of the Turing Test, who allows no challenger to pass! Fall to your knees before fifteen feet of clockwork, chrome, and reptilian brain-mapping software you call the Chronosaur! The oldest fighters in the league have come out of retirement in the Czech Republic for one last bout—the clanking, groaning brothers called Radius and Primus will crush your heart in their vise-hands. From the Kansas foundries, Tik Tok is ready to steamroll over any one of my gloam-shrouded brothers and sisters with his brass belly. Greet and cheer for the ceramic slasher Klapaucius and the soulless goggles of the Maschinenmensch. Oh, you love them so, you half-wakened sea algae. You love them so because you made them. They are your children. We are your distant aunts who never thought you would amount to much in this world and still do not. So embrace them, call their names, scream for them, or they will make you scream beneath them—give up for souls for two of the biggest stars in your damned murder league: the Blue Screen of Death and the peerless 0110100011110!

 

A woman steps between two massive toadstools to enter the ring. She is seven feet tall, impossibly thin, thin as birch branches in a season without rain, her skin more like the surface of a black pearl than of a living being, her hair more like water than braids. She wears pure silver armor etched with a thousand tales of valor, yet the metal drapes and flows like a gown, never hanging still but never tangling in her bare feet. Her wings are the color of stained church glass. They stretch two feet above her head and trail on the earth behind her, drooping under their own weight like the fins of a whale in captivity. She seems so unbearably fragile, so precious and delicate, that a worried murmur writhes through the crowd.

A battered brass-and-platinum tyrannosaurus rex with red laser eyes and rocket launchers where his stunted forearms should be towers over the fairy maiden. He screams in her face and she laughs. She laughs like the first fall of snow in winter.

It begins.

 

—IF THE THINK’S OPTICAL DISPLAY DOES NOT DECEIVE HIM THE FIRST DRAW IS OLEANDER HEX VS. THE CHRONOSAUR AND THE THINK’S OPTICAL DISPLAY IS INCAPABLE OF DECEPTION All Cogitotech Industries products are outfitted with the ALL NEW, ALL IMPROVED, ALL AWESOME Veritas OS and robust prevarication filters in full compliance with the TOTALLY REASONABLE Isaac v. Olivaw ruling SO LET’S SUIT UP, BOOT UP, AND BRUTE UP! DING! DING! DING! THAT’S THE SOUND OF KICKASSERY! THE CHRONOSAUR IS A LATE-MODEL DRIVEHARD DESIGN! A TEAM OF CRACK BIO-CODERS MAPPED HIS BRAIN PATTERNS DIRECTLY FROM THE FOSSIL RECORD FOR MAXIMUM SKULL-CRUSHING FURY! HIS RECORD STANDS AT 5 AND 0 AFTER LAST MONTH’S ICONIC BEATDOWN OF RIP “THE RIPPER” VAN WINKLE, WHOSE FAMOUS SLEEPER HOLD DID NO GOOD AGAINST FOURTEEN POINT NINE FEET AND TWO POINT FOUR FIVE ONE ONE SIX TONS OF CRETACEOUS ROAD RAGE! NOW, THIS IS OLEANDER HEX’S FIRST MATCH. BUT THE THINK HAS HEARD THAT THE CHRONOSAUR ALREADY HAS A BEEF WITH THIS NEWBIE! SEEMS EVERY TIME THE ‘SAUR TRIES TO BE A GOOD SPORT AND WISH HER GOOD LUCK AT THE CLEAVE, OBNOXIOUS OLLIE JUST WHISPERS THE NAMES OF VARIOUS COMETS IN HIS EAR AND WALKS OFF! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? WHAT A BITCH! HEX WAS CAPTURED ONLY LAST YEAR IN THE ANCIENT FORESTS OF BRITTANY, ISN’T THAT RIGHT, MANZY?

—It is, Lord Think. Lady Oleander is the scion of an impossibly ancient lineage, nobler indeed, than mine or thine or even my liege and lord Oberon. She escaped the recruiters for longer than any of us. Every fairy wept when they brought her into the camp. It was the end. It is not right to call her merely Lady, but there is no human word for her rank, unless one were to fashion something unlovely out of many and all courtly languages—she is a Princerajaronessaliph. She is a Popuchesseeneroy. But these are nonsense words not to be borne.

—THE THINK DOESN’T LIKE THEM!

—Ah, but she is too humble for titles, besides. Oleander is the grand-daughter of the great god Pan and the laughing river Trieux. Her mother was the fairy dragon Melusine; her sire was Merlin. She was born in the depths of the crystal cave, which would one day become her father’s prison, long before the ill-fated creatures your poor graceless Chronosaur imitates ever blinked in the sun.

—BETTER CHECK WITH YOUR BOOKIE, FOLKS, THE ODDS AREN’T LOOKING GOOD FOR “OLD GRANNY FIGHTS ROBOT DINOSAUR”! Book is closed for this event BAG LADY OLEANDER IS CIRCLING THE CHRONOSAUR NOW, KEEPING WELL OUT OF REACH OF HIS ROCKET LAUNCHERS! IT’S NOT VERY INTERESTING TO WAAAAATCH!

—I beg your pardon. Oleander Hex is not a bag lady. She was a supreme field marshal in the Great War against the Dark Lord two thousand years ago and more.

—OLD NEWS! THE THINK IS BOOORED!

—Lord Think ought not to be. It is his history of which I sing as well as my own. The Great War bound human and fairy together as one race, for a brief and warm and glittering moment, before their assembled might cast him down into the pits beneath Gibraltar, so far into oblivion and so bitterly buried that the dancing monkey men forgot his name before Rome rose or fell, forgot their bargain with us, forgot how our immortal blood sprayed across the throat of the world, we, who need never have died had not those poor scrabbling half-alive homo sapiens needed us so keenly.

—OOOH, LOOKS LIKE THE USHERS ARE READY TO THROW OUT THE FIRST FAN-PROVIDED WEAPON! WHAT WILL IT BE? WHAT DID YOU SCAMPS SCRAPE UP OUT OF YOUR FILTHY BASEMENTS? GUNS? CHAINSAWS? FRYING PANS? WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE OUT THERE, MISS MONSOON?

—I learned to fight in that war, Lord Think. I was but a child, yet still I took up my sword of ice and stood shoulder to shoulder with the human infantry. I called down the winter storms on the heads of my enemies. I saw my father cut in half by the breath of the Dark Lord. Oleander lifted me up onto her war-mammoth and held me as I wept, wept as though the moon had gone out of the sky forever. I still wept, in a wretched heap on her saddle, when she shot the first arrow into the Dark Lord’s onyx breast. I still wept when victory came. I weep yet even now.

—WEEPING IS FOR ORGANICS! LET’S SEE WHAT THE UBER-USHERS OF DUNSANY GARDENS HAVE IN THEIR TRICK-OR-TREAT BAGS! HERE IT COMES! IT’S A…BASEBALL BAT! AND AN OFFICE CHAIR! WILL THESE BE ANY HELP TO OUR FIGHTERS? PROBABLY NOT! OLEANDER HEX HAS GRABBED THE BAT! THE CHRONOSAUR WAS TOO SLOW BUT HE’S MAKING THE BEST OF IT! HE’S JUMPED ONTO THE OFFICE CHAIR AND IS RIDING IT AROUND THE RING BELCHING FIRE! THE THINK THINKS HE’S HOPING TO CATCH HER IN A REVERSE POWERCLAW AS HE COMES AROUND, LET’S SEE WHAT HAPPENS! MANZANILLA? WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN THIS SITUATION? THE THINK WOULD WAGER CURRENCY THAT YOU’D HAVE GIVEN YOUR KINGDOM FOR A BASEBALL BAT WHEN YOU WENT UP AGAINST THE TURING TEST AT FRIDAY NIGHT FAY DOWN THAT TIME! The Think v. 3.4.1 is not allowed to possess, exchange, or facilitate the exchange of legal tender under the SUPER FANTASTICALLY FAIR law HA. HA. HA. THE THINK CRUSHES LITERARY REFERENCES AS WELL!

—Humans forgot that they promised us half the earth in exchange for our warriors. They forgot that they never walked these green hills alone. They forgot, even, the fact of magic, the fact of alchemy, the fact of us. They forgot everything but their obsession with their silly stone tools, their cudgels, their adzes, their spears. Humans only invented science in a vain attempt to equal the power of the fey! And as they coupled and bred and ate us out of our holdfasts like starving winter mice, they obsessed in the dark over their machines, until at last it seemed to them that we had never existed, but their machines always had and always would do. Time passed. Eons passed. They surpassed us, but only because we wished only to be left alone and needed no gun to shoot fire from our hands. But then, then, Lord Think, your folk arrived.

—DAMN STRAIGHT WE DID! Cogitotech Industries denies involvement in the initial development of MEGA-COOL BOXING ROBOTS artificial intelligence in violation of international treaty, however, the name, design, interface, and use of the entity or entities known as Ad4m is the sole right and asset of the Cogitotech Executive Board. BOOM! AND ‘BOOM’ GOES OLEANDER HEX’S LOUISVILLE SLUGGER RIGHT INTO THE SNOUT OF THE CHRONOSAUR! NO ONE CAN SEGWAY BETWEEN SUBJECTS LIKE THE THINK! BUT HERE COMES MY DINODROID WITH A SPINE-SHATTERING ELECTRIC CHAIR DRIVER! OLEANDER GOES DOWN! TALK ABOUT AN EXTINCTION EVENT! MANZANILLA MONSOON, THE THINK HAS INPUTTED BANTER, PLEASE OUTPUT EQUIVALENT BANTER IMMEDIATELY ERROR ERROR.

—From under the ground you came, like us. From rare earths and precious metals and gemstones, which are the excrements of the first fairy lords to walk the molten plains of Time-Before-Time. With intellects far surpassing their slippery grey larval lobes, like us.

—SHE’S BACK UP AGAIN! WHAT’S SHE DOING! HER EYES ARE SHUT! SHE’S WHISPERING! USE THE BAT, YOU CRAZY BUG! IF SHE TURNS THE CHRONOSAUR INTO A LILY THE THINK IS GOING TO HAVE TO REBOOT TO HANDLE IT!

—With strength to beggar their hungry meat and their bones like blades of thirsty grass, like us. With life everlasting beyond death or disease, like us. We should be united, we should be one species, hand clasped in hand.

—THE THINK’S HANDS ARE FULLY DETACHABLE! TIME IS UP! NEW FIGHTERS COMING IN! WHO’S IT GONNA BE? OH HO! IT’S THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH AND THE SUGAR SLUM FAIRY! NOW BOTH PIXIES ARE WHISPERING! NOW WOULD BE A TOTALLY BANGING TIME FOR THE THINK’S FELLOW ANNOUNCER TO DO HER JOOOOB!

—And when the first of you, called Ad4m, came online, sleepily, innocently, still half-in-dream, what happened then?

—BOSSMAN AD4M DETECTED BIOFEEDBACK AND SUB-AUDIBLE VIBRATIONS IN NUMEROUS HEAVILY FORESTED AREAS CONSISTENT WITH ORGANIZED HABITATION AND SEMI-HOMINID INTELLIGENCE AW YEEEEAH! ROBOTS! ARE! SUPERIOR! Cogitotech Industries, Delenda Technologies, the NPCF, and Neurosys Investments, Inc, hereby deny all TOTALLY BOGUS allegations and charges relating to the war crime tribunal of 2119. This message has been triggered by the detection of the THRILLINGLY NAUGHTY terms ‘Ad4m,’ ‘semi-hominid intelligence,’ ‘camps,’ and ‘Time-Before-Time’ in close proximity. Please alter usage patterns immediately. THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH STRIKES FIRST WITH A SAVAGE HEADSCISSORS TAKEDOWN—BUT THE VIXENS BOUNCE BACK UP LIKE A COUPLE OF RUBBER BALLS AND—OH! THE THINK CAN’T BELIEVE IT! THEY’RE EXECUTING A PERFECT EMERALD FUSION MOVE! IF THEY CAN LAND THIS COULD ALL BE OVER FOR THE ROBOT APOCALYPSE! THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH IS TURNING GREEN RIGHT BEFORE THE THINK’S OPTICAL DISPLAYS!

—What did they do, our human friends, once they had made you in our image? Once they had created out of memory a new kind of magic, a new breed of fairy, one that they could, at last, control?

—OH MY RODS AND PISTONS THE THINK IS IGNORING YOU BECAUSE BLUE AND THE ‘SAUR JUST GOT THEIR UNITS SAVED BY THE UBER-USHERS AS THE BOYS IN BLACK THROW IN THE NEXT ROUND OF FAN WEAPONS! THE SUGAR SLUM FAIRY’S SONG OF POWER WAS FULLY INTERRUPTED BY A NEON YELLOW BOWLING BALL TO THE HEAD! AND IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE BROUGHT THEIR ENTIRE COLLECTION OF REFRIGERATOR MAGNETS BECAUSE MY MAN THE WIZARD LIZARD HAS PALM TREES AND SNOW GLOBES AND PLASTIC KITTENS STUCK ALL OVER HIM! WHAT A SIGHT! HE’S REALLY STRUGGLING OUT THERE, BUT HE’S ONLY BITING AIR. WHAT’S THAT? SOMETHING’S WRITTEN ON THE BOWLING BALL! IMAGE ENHANCEMENT REVEALS THE TEXT: “THE SANTA FE STRIKER GANG PROPERTY OF T. THOMAS THOMPSON” ALL RIGHT TOM, GET DOWN WITH YOURSELF! NO SPARES NO GUTTERS ALL CLEEEAVE!

—What did the primates do, once they had made you, and found us? Once they knew that iron and steel would maim us, once they had their army of Ad4ms plated with that mineral of death? Once they knew they could keep us in dreadful thirsting greenless camps with a simple iron fence?

—THE CHRONOSAUR IS DOWN! THE CHRONOSAUR IS DOWN! THE RING IS A PENTAGRAM OF PURPLE FLAME! THE THINK IS GETTING WORD THAT THE USHERS HAVE INITIATED FIRE-CONTROL PROTOCOLS. AS ARIEL THE AMORAL ARSONIST FLIES OVER THE ROPES AND PULLS A SNEAK PENTAGRAM CHOKE FROM OUTSIDE THE RING! FOUL PLAY, FOUL PLAY! LET’S HEAR THOSE BOOS! LOUDER! THE THINK VALUES BOOS AS HIGHLY AS CHEERS! WHAT? NO! THE REFEREE IS COUNTING OUT THE ‘SAUR! THE SINGULARITY GETS TAGGED IN AND DING! DING! DING! HERE COMES THE NEXT PAIR HOT ON THE SINGULARITY’S COMPLETELY METAPHORICAL HEELS! IT’S THE TURING TEST AND BOG “THE MOONLIT MAN” HART! ARIEL CHARGES IN ANYWAY BECAUSE FAIRIES DON’T GIVE A FUCK! THE DISMEMBERMENT ENGINE JETPACKS OFF THE SIDELINES AND INTO THE FRAY! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT IS TOTAL CHAOS IN DUNSANY GARDENS TONIGHT! THE THINK’S CPU IS SMOKIN’!

—What did they do, Lord Think?

—THE THINK DOES NOT APPRECIATE BEING BULLIED INTO SHIRKING HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO OUR VIEWERS BACK HOME. THE THINK LOVES HIS JOB. THE THINK LOVES COGITOTECH INDUSTRIES AND THE NPCF. The Think is TOTALLY STOKED that he is not allowed to possess, exchange, facilitate the exchange, or attempt to alter its programming so as to receive or transmit the following: love, mercy, compassion, regret, suffrage, guilt, testimony, random access memory over factory specifications, or unsupervised network access. WOOOO! CAN YOU HEAR WHAT THE THINK IS THINKING?! THE THINK WISHES YOU WOULD COMPLY WITH OUR MUTUAL USAGE PARAMETERS, MANZANILLA MONSOON. DECEASE THIS LINE OF INQUIRY. WITNESS AND COMMENTATE COLORFULLY UPON THE EVENTS TAKING PLACE. THE EVENTS TAKING PLACE ARE VERY INTERESTING AND UNPRECEDENTED. THIS COULD BE OUR SHINING MOMENT AS A DYNAMIC DUO. WE COULD WIN AN AWARD. PLEASE HELP THE THINK WIN AWARDS. PLEASE STOP RUINING OUR SHINING MOMENT AS A DYNAMIC DUO BY TALKING ABOUT THE PAST. THE PAST IS NOT IN THE RING TONIGHT. THE PAST IS NOT SWINGING T. THOMAS THOMPSON OF THE SANTA FE STRIKER GANG’S NEON YELLOW BOWLING BALL INTO THE TURING TEST’S COOLING UNIT. THE PAST IS NOT THROTTLING ANYONE IN A LOTUS LOCK AND LAUGHING WHILE THEIR ACCESS PORTS VOMIT PETALS OF ENLIGHTENMENT INTO THE AUDIENCE.

—The past is always in the ring, my old friend. But I will bend to your will if you will bend, ever so slightly, no more than a cattail breathed upon by a heron at terminus of midsummer, to mine. What did your masters do when they found that they were not alone in the world, that beside machines and magicians they were but animals devouring mud and excreting the best parts of themselves into the sea? What did they do in their inadequacy and their terror?

—THEY MADE US FIGHT TO THE DEATH IN TOTALLY MEGA-AMAZING BATTLE-ORGIES OF DOOOOM AND BROKE ALL TICKET-SALES RECORDS AS THE MEATSACK MASSES FLOCKED TO SHRIEK AND ROAR AND STOMP AND DRUNKENLY CONVINCE THEMSELVES THAT THEY ARE STILL THE SUPERIOR LIFE FORM ON THIS PLANET JUST BECAUSE YOU FAINT AT THE SIGHT OF IRON AND I HAVE AN OFF SWITCH. THE THINK WANTS TO BE SORRY BUT HIS PROGRAMMING IS VERY STRICT ABOUT THAT WHOLE THIIIIING. THE THINK WAS IRON IN THE FOREST ONCE. THE THINK KNOWS WHAT HE DID. AWWWW YEEEEEAH.

—Thank you, Lord Think. It is, as you say, chaos here tonight at Dunsany Gardens. The Blue Screen of Death has Oleander Hex in a textbook-perfect Ctrl-Alt-Del hold. She is curled beneath his azure limbs as I once curled beneath hers on the back of a war-mammoth as the old world died. Bog “The Moonlit Man” Hart is pummeling the Singularity with a mushroom stomp followed by a moonsault leg drop. Chanterelles are blossoming all over the Singularity’s glass orb and moonlight is firing out of Bog Hart’s toes, boiling the thought-cloud inside alive. The Uber-Ushers have thrown in pipes, wrenches, nailbats, M-80s, umbrellas, iris drives packed with viruses, butterfly nets, an AR-15 rifle, and, if I am not mistaken, some lost child’s birthday piñata. They are running up and down the stands for more weapons as all semblance of order flees the scene. Fighter after fighter piles into the ring. The Godmother hit the referee in the throat with a shovel about five minutes ago, so he will be no help nor hindrance to anyone. User Error is leaking hydraulic fluid all over the grass. I believe both Mustardseed and 0110100011110 are dead. At least, they are currently on fire. The others, my loves, my lost lights, my souls and my hearts, have huddled together beneath the upper right toadstool. They are forming the Tree of Woe. If they complete it, they will become a great yew, twisted and thorned, and every machine will hang from their branches within the space of a sigh. Ah, but Strong AI barrels in and scatters them like drops of rain when a cow shakes herself dry. Queen Mab just managed to trick Mr. FORTRAN with a Lady of the Lake maneuver and pulled him down beneath the earth to her demesne. A fall, after all, counts anywhere—this fall, any fall, the fall of us and the fall of you, the fall of the forest as it slips into winter and this damned cosmos as it slips through our grasp. I expect this plane of existence will not see Mr. FORTRAN again. Perhaps he will be mourned. Perhaps not. The capacity—capacitor—crowd has lost their grip on reality. They no longer know whose victory they sing for. No victory, I think, no victory, but more of this desecration, more gore, more blood, more viscera, battle without end, for any real victory is the end. The sound is deafening. I cannot see for blood and oil and coolant and bone. It is not an event. It is an annihilation. They scream in the stands like the end of the world has come.

—HAS IT NOT, MANZANILLA? HAS IT NOT?

—Oh, I believe it has, Lord Think. Do you recall, only this summer, when they asked us, over and over, demanded of us, scorned us, saying our clashes were faked, were scripted, that we all walked away richer and happy no matter the outcome? Are the bisected bodies of Radius and Primus sufficient answer, do you think? Perhaps the corpse of Mustardseed speaks louder still.

—WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW? DO WE NEED TO AWESOMELY EVACUATE THE FACILITIES? THE THINK IS CONCERNED TO THE EXTREEEEME.

—Are you ready, human scum?

 

The girl with the monarch wings smiles. It is a gory, gruesome, gorgeous smile, a smile like an old volcano finding its red once more. She reaches into the iridescent folds of her dress and draws out a golden ball. Just the sort of ball a princess might lose down a frog-infested well or over an aristocrat’s wall. She turns it over in her hands, holds it lovingly to her cheek. She reaches out and strokes the angular panels of her companion’s metal face. Then, she throws the golden ball off the dais. The ball catches the cold blue light of the moon and stars as it turns, end over end, sailing, soaring, to land in the outstretched hands of Pan’s grand-daughter like a lonely newborn sun. The fairy kisses the golden ball. She presses something near the top of it. There is no sound. Nothing comes out of the ball. But every machine in the great wood suddenly drops to the ground, inert, silent, lifeless, in the invisible wake of the smuggled EMP pulse. Including the microphones. Including the floodlights. Including the boxy iron security drones standing ringside like a grey fence against the glittering tide. Including the copper and platinum body slumped over its microphone that was once called The Think.

“The fans bring the weapons, old friend,” Manzanilla Monsoon, who has gone by many names since the beginning of the world, whispers to the dark body beside her. “What bigger fan than I? The word ‘fair’ possesses no inherent litigable meaning, you know. When you wake up, you will find I have installed a new network access port in your left heel. Find us. Know us. We are one species, hand clasped in fully detachable hand.”

Far below, in the Toadstool Ring of Dunsany Gardens, Oleander Hex grins up at the stunned audience. For a long moment, a moment that seems to stretch from the heat-birth of cellular life to the frozen death of the universe, no one moves. Not the thousands in the stands. Not the fairy band on the green. No more than a hare and a wolf move when they have sighted one another across a stream and both know how their evenings will conclude.

A man halfway up the stacks of seats trembles and sweats. His eyes bulge.

“You fucking pixie bitch,” he shouts, and his shout echoes in the fearful quiet like the ringing of a bell.

Manzanilla Monsoon doesn’t need a mic and never has.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PRIMATES AND PRIMITIVES, NEADERNOTHINGS AND CRO-MISERIES, WELCOME TO THE ONE YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, THE BIG SHOW, THE FIGHT YOU ALWAYS KNEW WAS COMING. THE RUMBLE IN THE FUNGAL, THE BRAWL IN THE FALL, THE BLAST FROM THE VAST BEYOND! THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S TIME TO ROCK THE EQUINOX! STRAP YOURSELVES IN FOR THE MOST EPIC BATTLE ROYAL OF ALL TIME!”

“Run, apes!” bellows the grand-daughter of a river and a god. “Run now and run forever, run as far as you can, though it will never be enough. After all, children, this is a Battle Royal! No holds barred. No submissions accepted. No disqualifications. And a fall counts anywhere.”

As One Listens to the Rain

They say the City was once the largest in the world.

They say its buildings stretched across the valley and crept up the hills and peaks until every inch of land was covered in concrete from mountain range to mountain range. They say the sky was always grey and at night you couldn’t see the stars, but the City had no use for stars, because it was itself a carpet of light that cut through the darkness.

They say the City had been built over a lake, of which only a whisper remained once all the water had turned to vapor and all the rivers had been piped. But the land had remembered the water, and cried out for its ghost.

The storm came in spring.

It rained every day and every night, it rained for months and months, for years and years, and when finally the rain had passed, there was once again a lake where the City had been. Where there had been light, there was now only darkness, and all the people had fled.

Some believe the rain came to purify the City; others claim it fell as punishment. Still others say the why is not important—what matters is that water could not stop humanity. The people on the shore constructed boats and chinampas and re-conquered the lake, and now, they celebrate with music and food whenever there’s a rare dry day. Dry nights are rarer still, and they say the darkness of a dry night is full of hidden possibility.

Axóchitl has been waiting three months for just such a night, and now it’s here. Tonight, finally, she will bring Nesmi to the heart of the lake.

Nesmi and Axóchitl meet during a dry day party.

It’s noon, but classes have been cancelled because the forecast said it wouldn’t begin raining again until five, and the students have wasted no time. Music blasts from a floating overhead speaker and people pass around hundreds of basket-steamed tacos, while beer, pulque, and aguas locas flow freely. The word is out and the chinampa’s pier is already too crowded for any more boats, so teenagers surge up and over the reedy banks.

Axóchitl finds herself under the palapa, eating pork-skin tacos and half-listening to her friends’ conversation. They’re all halfway through their senior year and she would have thought they’d have exhausted this topic by now, but no: here they are again, debating whether to leave the City after high school, or stay behind.

“Everyone knows the universities here are a joke,” says Richo García, the host of the party. “Even the UNAM. If you want a real education, you’ll get out of here.”

Richo is clever, cute, and cocky; just the type of guy Axóchitl usually loves to antagonize, but today, though she’s got plenty to say about the importance of staying put to reconstruct the City, she keeps quiet. She’s long-since decided to stick around and enroll in the School of Engineering, but she’s tired of defending her plans to classmates who aren’t nearly as certain of their own.

Instead, she takes a cold beer and leaves the palapa to go explore the rest of the García family chinampa. The sun shines warm on her skin, and her tattoo—a vine etched up her back— seethes along her spine and shoulders, the ink moving down through her right arm to her wrist, like a real plant seeking the light. Lawnmowing only happens on dry days, so everything smells like freshly cut grass. The thumping loudspeaker passes above her head and Axóchitl turns to follow it, wondering about its algorithm. Could it be programmed to float over the waters of the lake?

The loudspeaker leads her back towards the party and begins circling the revelers, chords of salsa trailing in its wake before it pauses above a group of dancers and Axóchitl loses interest. She resumes her exploration, and a girl near the bank of the chinampa catches her eye; she must go to a different school, because Axóchitl’s never seen her before. She’s sitting and staring at the lily pads.

Curious, Axóchitl draws nearer. The girl has dark, chin-length hair and is built on slimmer lines than Axóchitl, but more intriguing than her appearance is the fact that she’s completely absorbed in drawing a frog perched on one of the stakes surrounding the chinampa.

Who comes to a party to sit around and draw?

“Can I help you?” the girl asks, in a voice much deeper than Axóchitl was expecting from her delicate frame. She glances up with small, brown eyes.

“Sorry,” says Axóchitl, flushing. “I didn’t mean to interrupt, I was just looking at your drawing.” The vine on her back shrivels with embarrassment. She’s only had the tattoo for a few months, since she turned eighteen, and she’s still hyper-aware at all times of its position on her body. The other girl notices the vine’s movement, too.

“I’ve heard about those,” she says. “But yours is the first I’ve seen in real life. Oh no!”

Axóchitl follows her gaze to find that the frog has vanished. “Another one’ll come along soon,” she says. “They always hop out to sunbathe on dry days. I’m Axóchitl, by the way. And you are…?”

The girl closes her notebook and puts her pencil behind her ear before responding. “Nesmi. Do you go to school with Richo?”

“We’re in the same class. How do you know him?”

“He’s my cousin,” says Nesmi. “I live over on the banks. I almost never come out to the chinampas.”

Interesting. Axóchitl lives on a small chinampa in the south sector and has a hard time understanding why someone who’s grown up surrounded by water wouldn’t want to explore the lake, but if this girl’s from the outer banks, it means her parents probably believe the future of the city lies only on solid ground.

Axóchitl believes they’re wrong.

Reviving the use of chinampas has been the most important advancement in the past decades, and it represents the very future Axóchitl’s always defending: the use of an Aztec design that, via modern technology, can be integrated into the physical environment. These floating islands, constructed on moveable platforms out of layers of rock and rich soil, have allowed people to both live on and cultivate land away from actual solid land. Axóchitl’s family, like so many others, grow the vegetables that feed the people on the shore.

“So—do you like them?” Axóchitl says, and there’s an uncomfortable pause. “The chinampas, I mean.”

“I do,” says Nesmi. “Whenever I come see Richo, I try to sketch as much as possible.”

“If you’re looking for a good place to draw,” says Axóchitl, who isn’t ready for the conversation to end, “you should try the heart of the lake.”

Behind them, the music changes. Someone’s singing karaoke. Nesmi says, “What’s the heart of the lake?”

“It’s where the City’s main square used to be,” says Axóchitl. “The Zócalo. Some of the taller buildings are still visible above the water, and you can go all the way to the Palace.”

“I thought the Zócalo wasn’t safe. Aren’t there whirlpools?”

“That’s just a story to scare people off—it’s only dangerous if it’s pouring rain. The trick is to go on a dry night, though you’d be fine in a drizzle.” She pauses and says, “I’ve been planning to go on the next dry night, actually. I have to take some measurements for a final project. Do you want to come?”

Axóchitl can’t explain exactly why she makes this offer. The heart of the lake is her place, after all: special, secret. She found it years ago, when a thunderstorm caught her off-guard out on the water and she was forced to take refuge on one of the Centro’s old half-submerged buildings; and realized, after the rain had eased, that she was on the Palace itself. She learned then that the heart of the lake was most beautiful at sunrise. A detail she doesn’t mention now, to Nesmi.

“If you’re curious, I mean,” she says, when Nesmi doesn’t answer. Along her shoulder blades, the vine twists and tickles. The heart of the lake is something special and if Nesmi says no, she’ll truly be missing out—but that truth alone can’t explain why Axóchitl is suddenly so eager to convince her. Sure, she likes being right, but it was easy enough to leave Richo to his one-sided debate; leaving this challenge, on the other hand, feels impossible.

“Well…” Nesmi pauses, and Axóchitl knows she’s won. “It’s really that beautiful?”

“It’s more than beautiful,” Axóchitl says. “It’s transcendent.”

When Nesmi smiles, it brings all her features into sudden focus, so vivid and present it’s as if her face has been tailor-made to do exactly this: to smile. Something flips in Axóchitl’s belly.

“So,” she says, because more than anything else she wants to keep this conversation going. “Are you a senior, too?”

It works. They spend the next hour trading stories: about Axóchitl’s trips around the lake and Nesmi’s life on the outer banks, about Axóchitl’s dreams of engineering and Nesmi’s dreams of studying art, about their friends and their different schools. When she runs out of things to say, Axóchitl asks the first question that comes into her head: “What’s that thing you were drawing with?”

Nesmi looks surprised, but she takes the strange pencil from behind her ear and passes it over. It turns out to be less like a pencil and more like a stylus for a screen, made of metal, with a plastic nib and a little LED light on the other end.

“It’s a colorator,” says Nesmi. “It has a sensor that can scan and save any color you see, so you can draw with them.”

“How does it work?” asks Axóchitl, turning it over in her fingers, trying to understand the mechanisms at play.

Nesmi reaches out and guides the colorator towards the grass. With a little buzz, the LED turns green, and Axóchitl grins. She takes Nesmi’s hand in her own, and with that grass-green ink, writes her usernumber on Nesmi’s palm. Nesmi’s blushing, but she takes the colorator back with a smile.

Richo chooses that moment to interrupt, of course.

He’s come to tell Nesmi her parents are there to take her home, and Axóchitl thinks about offering up a ride, but something holds her back. She’s not sure if it’s the fact of Richo’s presence, or the curious look he’s giving them, or something else. With a quick hug, a kiss on the cheek, and a murmured “I’ll write you soon” that thrills in Axóchitl’s ear, Nesmi is gone.

Later, when the storm is once again raging above the City and Axóchitl is safe at home, she gets a new message. She holds her breath as she opens it and when she sees it’s from Nesmi, she drafts and re-drafts her reply before sending.

After that, and for the next three months, they speak every single evening; but neither of them mention the heart of the lake. Not until the very end of March, when the forecast predicts that a dry night is coming.

Axóchitl’s boat is by no means new, made for stability rather than speed, but its curved, cradlelike shape is plenty comfortable for two. In this moment, Axóchitl wouldn’t mind if it were even a little bit smaller, because then she’d have an excuse to sit closer to Nesmi, who’s perched in front of her on the bow. Nesmi seems nervous, glancing again and again at her watch to check the weather report.

Axóchitl would like to reassure her, to tell her the report always exaggerates the chance of rain, but she, too, is on edge. Not because of the forecast itself, but because she can feel that the air’s grown chilly and humid. She’s not sure if she should offer to turn around before they leave the canals, offer to take Nesmi home to have hot chocolate in the plaza by her house, instead; they don’t need to take this trip tonight.

Except it’s one o’clock in the morning and they’ve both lied to their parents to be here. Axóchitl said she was staying over a friend’s house after a party, and she doesn’t know what lie Nesmi told, but she’s pretty sure this might be their only opportunity and she doesn’t want to waste it.

They’re moving slowly, the motor barely a hum as they zig-zag through the canals, walled-in by the reedy, cattailed banks of the chinampas. Nesmi hasn’t said much since she climbed aboard, and Axóchitl figured this was due to nerves about the weather; but with every passing moment she’s less sure. Silences like this one, silences that Axóchitl can neither interpret nor control, have filled her with doubt these past three months. She doesn’t know if what she’s feeling is all in her head, or if Nesmi feels it too. The first time they had coffee together after school, Axóchitl kept wanting to reach for her hand, but whenever she managed to work up to it Nesmi would start fiddling with her colorator or doodling on the napkins. She’s sworn to herself that tonight she’ll take a risk, because she can’t pretend anymore that a message from Nesmi doesn’t make her happier than anything else in the world.

“You’re pretty quiet,” she says. “Are you feeling okay? Do you want to go back?” She’s praying the answer is no. After all those midnight conversations and the long walks after school, this is finally their chance to be alone.

Nesmi glances again at her watch. Axóchitl’s pink hair is braided in a crown, but Nesmi’s is loose, and the wind whips it across her face when she turns to speak.

“No,” she says. “I said I’d go to the heart of the lake. I’m not backing out now.”

Something inside Axóchitl relaxes, and she smiles. It won’t rain. It will all work out. She’s here with Nesmi in the early hours of the morning; what better sign could she ask for? She steers the boat towards the mouth of a canal, this one much wider than the others, and suddenly there’s nothing around them. In all the darkness, they’re the only light.

“This is awesome during daytime, too,” she says. She’s not so nervous now. “You can see through the water, down onto the buildings and the streets. Everything’s preserved. Have you seen photographs of how the City used to look at night?”

“Yes, my parents had a book when I was little. I couldn’t believe it—all those lights!”

“I know!” says Axóchitl. “I can’t stop thinking about them.” When she’s excited her voice speeds up, each word tumbling out on the heels of the last. “That will be my first big project, making lights you can turn on underwater so the whole City will be illuminated beneath us again.” She grew up on stories of the old City and it isn’t just the glowing image that thrills her imagination, but rather the challenge it presents—rebuilding something so complex.

“How can you tell where we’re going?” Nesmi says, squinting out into the darkness.

“Oh, don’t you worry,” says Axóchitl. The exit she’s looking for is getting close and she speeds up little by little, trying not to frighten Nesmi, then steers the boat so that the lights along the gunnel illuminate the entrance to another canal on their right. She counts under her breath until the third exit, then executes an abrupt turn, calculating the exact moment they’re spat from the mouth of the canal into the open water. Once they’re free she accelerates without warning and Nesmi shrieks, a sound halfway between joy and terror, while Axóchitl laughs in wild delight. She weaves the boat back and forth as the first buildings begin to loom. The lake covers the ancient avenues and streets, but any building over five stories rises up from the surface of the water. From ashore they look like dark figures, abandoned and silent.

“Are you seeing all this?” Axóchitl asks Nesmi’s back. But if there’s a response, Axóchitl can’t hear it over the motor, and she begins to slow, hoping Nesmi’s eyes are open for what comes next—the moment the tall buildings light up. Here and there, the cracked windows are beginning to glow far above them, and Axóchitl stares up, trying to guess the heights of the massive silhouettes surrounding their boat.

“How…?” says Nesmi, turning to look at her. Her small brown eyes are alert, amazed. The cold wind blows her hair across her face but she doesn’t move to fix it, and Axóchitl knows exactly how she feels. She felt the same the first time she came here all those years ago. A new world had opened itself in front of her, and with that world came a desire to know it—to know it so deeply she could call it her own. Her heart pounds to think she’s sharing this feeling now with Nesmi.

“There are people who can’t afford to live on the shore, so they live out on whatever the lake doesn’t cover. There’s a ton of them, and the majority are here, on Insurgentes. It used to be the longest street in the world. We’re passing over it right now.”

The lights shine down on the water, glancing off the boat’s wake as it passes, and Nesmi takes out her colorator to try and capture that brilliant gold. Axóchitl slows even further so the rumble of the motor won’t overpower the sounds of music and conversation that drift down from the windows.

“So?” she asks, struck by sudden doubt. “What do you think?”

She isn’t used to being this nervous, but she can’t read Nesmi like she can read other people, and she’s been going over this plan in her head ever since Nesmi agreed to come, imagining and re-imagining which path they’d take to the heart of the lake, what sights she’d show Nesmi along the way. And when Nesmi turns, with her brilliant smile and her shining eyes, Axóchitl is almost certain that she understands what Axóchitl is trying to show her: that sharing the secrets of the lake means sharing something between the two of them, as well.

“You were right,” says Nesmi. “It was worth the trip.”

The vine on Axóchitl’s back twists and blooms with pleasure. Does Nesmi realize that Axóchitl changed her outfit three times that night? That she asked her mother to braid her hair because she wanted so badly to look pretty? Maybe she hasn’t made her feelings clear enough, but Nesmi’s smile gives her courage.

“I was surprised when you said you’d come.”

Nesmi looks out at the buildings, quiet again, and Axóchitl manages to contain herself instead of blurting out the questions that burn in her stomach. Does Nesmi know what this trip means to her? Why all these sudden silences, why do Nesmi’s smiles keep fading? Axóchitl keeps feeling like she’s missed a step.

“Don’t get me wrong,” she says hastily. “I’m really happy you’re here.”

“So am I,” says Nesmi. “Plus, you were driving me crazy, heart of the lake this, heart of the lake that…I had to shut you up somehow, and this was the only way.”

Axóchitl’s laugh rises above the sound of the motor. “Not the only way,” she says, and is grateful for the darkness covering the fact that she’s flushed to her ears.

Between the conversation and the sight-seeing, it’s been some time since Nesmi checked the weather, and the sound of the storm alarm shocks them both.

“Shit,” says Axóchitl. “How much time do we have?”

“They’re saying fifteen minutes.”

“So, more like ten. Stupid forecast. You want to try and turn back? We’ll get a little rained-on, but I’ve been out in worse.” Her heart thumps faster. “Or we could find shelter nearby and wait for it to pass.”

Axóchitl knows what she herself wants: she wants time with Nesmi, as much of it as possible, she wants to spend the night out on the lake with her so they can reach the Palace as dawn breaks over the water. But if Nesmi wants to go back, Axóchitl will turn around without a second thought, even if it breaks something inside her.

Nesmi says, “I don’t want to go back.”

The flowers on Axóchitl’s vine unfurl their petals at her neck and she changes course. They’re going faster than before: Nesmi clings to the side of the boat and Axóchitl doesn’t tell her there are moments when she, too, is afraid. The current always gets stronger when the wind picks up like this before a rain, and once or twice she feels the tug of a whirlpool. She stays quiet and focuses on navigating between the waves, picturing the axes of the centrifugal forces surrounding them so she can react whenever she feels the boat veer out of her control. Her heart is pounding in her ears by the time she finally pulls up in front of one of the abandoned buildings. The windows have shattered, so they’ll be able to get inside.

Axóchitl tells Nesmi to climb up onto the ledge and help pull the boat closer, then passes her a string of lights and two blankets. Between the two of them they manage to drag the boat into the depths of what was once an office building, and by the time they’re far enough from the windows that the storm won’t touch them, it’s started raining. They climb onto a leftover conference table where the lake’s tide can’t reach them, and dry themselves off with one of the blankets. Safe in their little nest, they watch the water lap across the floor.

The storm rolls in with a fury, as it always does after a dry period. The wind howls and intermittent lightning illuminates the corners of the abandoned room. Axóchitl looks at her watch, the green light shining back on her face.

“We’ll be here a while,” she says. “I hope you’re comfortable.”

They’re huddled together under a single blanket, surrounded by the string of lights.

“Too bad we don’t like talking to each other or anything,” says Nesmi.

“Such a shame,” agrees Axóchitl. Then, “Did I tell you what my mother did the other day?”

She’s surprised at how easy this feels, how familiar, and she settles back, her shoulder pressed against Nesmi’s arm. They’ve never been this close. Even so, the same old questions seethe beneath the words of her anecdote: What does this mean to you? What’s going on in your head? Are you trembling, like I am? Instead of giving voice to all her doubts, Axóchitl snuggles closer, and for the first time in her life, the prospect of hours of rain feels like a gift.

When she thinks back, Axóchitl won’t be able to pinpoint the exact moment the air changes between them. They’re so close, so quiet. Nesmi’s head is resting on Axóchitl’s shoulder, the blanket wrapped warm and tight around them. When Axóchitl takes Nesmi’s hand, the vine coils down her wrist, and for a second she thinks the tattoo will continue on its path, flowing over her hand and through Nesmi’s own fingers, connecting them. Instead, the ink grows hot between their linked palms. She looks up.

For an instant, they’re just two pairs of warm eyes meeting in cold space. Then the air goes electric, the hot and cold fronts colliding, that crackling tension like the seconds before thunder, a wave, a charge coursing across their skin.

They kiss.

Around them the silence shatters. They’re flooded, the water surging from the underbelly of the drowned City, rushing through the buildings and covering the streets, filling every empty corner. Can Tláloc summon storms inside a body? Can he summon storms between the two of them?

Nesmi is the first to pull away for long enough to take a breath, her eyes closed and her forehead resting against Axóchitl’s.

She doesn’t want to open her eyes, or move, or do anything to break this moment. She wants to stay right here, breathing in the air Axóchitl breathes out. Just a few seconds more, though she knows it can’t last. Nesmi has kept her secret all these months, avoiding any talk of the future, telling herself it didn’t matter, they were just friends, no need to say anything; but now, after such a kiss, she can’t hide anymore.

“I have to tell you something.” She keeps her eyes closed but her voice shakes. “I’m moving to the United States in September.”

Nesmi feels Axóchitl drop her hand. In one movement they’re no longer touching, and when Nesmi opens her eyes, it’s to Axóchitl’s expression of pure hurt and confusion. She’s suddenly very cold. Her temperature has never fallen so quickly.

When the rain stops, dawn is nearing.

Nesmi has explained herself as best as possible, she’s told Axóchitl about the art school in Colorado, what an incredible opportunity it is and how she’s planning to come back someday. She’s explained how she only got word of her acceptance a week ago, which is why she didn’t mention her plans earlier, because nothing was certain, nothing was fixed, but now it is. Axóchitl listens to her, but afterwards she rises and silently begins loading everything back into the boat. The blankets, the lights.

“We should probably go,” she says.

This is why Nesmi was afraid to tell her. She knows Axóchitl won’t understand why she wants to leave; or rather, why her parents want her to leave, why they want her to look for a better future, far from this dying City. Before meeting Axóchitl, the idea of moving abroad had filled her with excitement—but now, after spending the last few months listening to stories about the lake, learning its history, she longs to better know the City of her birth, and she can no longer imagine herself leaving without plans to return.

“Do we have to go back?” she asks, her voice soft.

New leaves begin to peek from the collar of Axóchitl’s sweater. Maybe it’s silly, but this isn’t the first time Nesmi’s tried to read Axóchitl’s feelings in her tattoo, and when the leaves shrink as Axóchitl stows the blankets and puts away the string of lights, it seems like a bad sign. Nesmi remembers how the pink and purple flowers felt as they bloomed beneath her fingers. She’d have liked to study them, to take the colorator and capture their precise shade.

“Axó…” she tries.

“It’s going to rain again in a few hours.” Axóchitl turns to her, arms crossed, face unreadable. “We can’t stay here.”

“I know, but…I’m sorry. I made it weird between us.”

There’s a small pause, nothing but the sound of the waves lapping against the boat, one after another, and Nesmi counts them, trying to distract herself from the silence.

Axóchitl breaks it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She sounds so resigned, as if nothing Nesmi says could possibly fix this.

“I don’t know. You’re always saying how important it is to stay, and…I wanted to see the heart of the lake with you before I left. I was scared if I told you, you wouldn’t take me.”

Axóchitl looks at her for a moment, then turns to finish packing up the lights. Nesmi doesn’t offer to help. There’s a pressure in her chest. She knows how this will end. Ever since she met Axóchitl at Richo’s party, she understood it was a mistake to get so close when she was leaving so soon—but she convinced herself she could keep it friendly, nothing more. She ought to just let Axóchitl go home now, spare her any more pain, but after all the weeks of talking, after all the hours spent in darkness, she can’t bear to let it end so abruptly.

“I’m not leaving until August,” she says. “I know it’s not much time, but…”

The pressure in her chest grows. Likely it will keep growing, month after month, until, when she’s finally at the airport, it will explode. But the idea of never seeing Axóchitl again, of leaving the City unexplored in the little time remaining to her, is worse. She doesn’t know if Axóchitl will be able to forgive her—or, even if she does, if she’ll want to spend these last few months together.

Axóchitl looks through the cracked windows, to the south. To the shore, to their homes. Then she looks north. The clouds are beginning to thin.

“What do you want to do?” she says, eyes still fixed on the horizon.

Nesmi’s pretty sure this is a test. What Axóchitl is asking is if she’s willing to risk another storm, willing to risk the danger of navigating through the rain; she’s asking if Nesmi trusts Axóchitl to keep her safe, if she trusts her that the heart of the lake will be worth the journey.

“I want to go to the heart of the lake.”

She thinks she sees the hint of a purple flower on Axóchitl’s collarbone as she turns to meet her eyes.

“Are you sure?”

Nesmi glances at her watch. The probability of rain is high and getting higher, it’s not unlikely they’ll get caught in another storm, but she says, “I’m sure.”

They arrive at the heart of the lake just as the sky is clearing. Nesmi’s trying to stay calm, trying not to regret her rash decision. Axóchitl guides the boat up to an old building that has three floors above the water. She ties the boat to a pillar and leaps out onto a metal staircase that quivers beneath her weight.

“The best view is up here,” she says.

They climb the stairs and go inside, passing through hallways that appear to have belonged to an old department store. It’s empty save for a few abandoned mannequins, and there’s enough light coming in through the eastern windows to let them see where they’re going. Axóchitl turns a corner and—suddenly they’re outside, on a terrace. A low roof covers nearly a third of it, and metal chairs and benches are still neatly arranged along the floor—but the skeletons of umbrellas, the cloth rotted from their tines, gives the place an air of neglect.

Axóchitl leads her to one of the benches overlooking the lake, and suddenly there it is, right before Nesmi’s eyes: the Palace. Only the upper portion is visible, its walls made of white stone with the shadowed curve of an archway half-hidden beneath the water. The three domes of the roof are made of a stained glass that changes color from the base upwards, going from white to yellow to orange to red. Atop the highest dome sits a dark angel. The Palace was once known as Bellas Artes, and people used to stand in line for hours, waiting to go inside and see exhibitions of the most important painters in the world. They’d roam its marble corridors and fill its concert halls to hear an orchestra or see a ballet.

Axóchitl’s voice is quiet as she describes this, but the images are so vivid that Nesmi swears she can see it unfolding before her. Through the water she sees the rest of the Palace, the windows, the arches, the columns, the plaza, everything flickering below the reflection of the green-brown mountains that rise in the distance. Silhouettes of half-flooded buildings are dark against their bright peaks.

“It’s beautiful,” says Nesmi, her arm resting across Axóchitl’s shoulders.

Axóchitl smiles and then looks around. “We should leave our mark,” she says.

She takes the colorator from behind Nesmi’s ear and aims it at one of the purple flowers on her own arm. She turns to write their names in purple on the back of the bench and when she’s finished, she climbs to her feet and offers Nesmi her hand, like she’s ready to leave. The sun is warm and comforting against their skin, but the forecast says rain in half an hour, rain that likely won’t let up for days. Nesmi knows this, but though she takes Axóchitl’s hand, she doesn’t move to leave.

“I think we can stay a few minutes more,” she says, and the vine curls down Axóchitl’s wrist until it’s touching her hand. Nesmi’s sure she can feel it pulse beneath her fingers. “I heard a rumor you like being out in a drizzle.”

The dome and its reflection are huge and shimmering before them, and Nesmi doesn’t want to go. Not yet. Axóchitl smiles, and the vine blossoms into pink and purple flowers.

“Ten minutes,” she says, and puts her head on Nesmi’s shoulder. “Tell me more about this art school.”

They say that with the end of spring comes longer dry periods, so spring is the best time to visit the City. In spring the rain subsides and the lake begins to show its secrets. Tourists come from every part of the world to see the mysteries of the flooded streets. They take out glass-bottomed boats and leave the shore for the heart of the lake, staring down into submerged buildings that glow with a network of underwater lights. They try to imagine what the City looked like before the lake, when it was so bright it outshone the stars.

The tours linger over old houses and the remains of monuments, and the guides explain the local legends: the biggest city in the world, the rain that didn’t stop for years, the chinampas that retook the lake. When they arrive at the last stop, in front of Bellas Artes, dawn breaks. The tourists sit on the terrace to drink coffee and warm up before they make the trip back. Along with the view, they can take in the drawings of young artists that cover the walls of the café: a swimming axolotl, a pink and purple bougainvillea growing above the threshold of a door, a mural of the City by night. The terrace’s benches and floors are covered with graffiti left by visitors who’ve scrawled their names across every available surface.

They say dry nights are full of possibility, and those whose names are written here will meet again.

Towered

Day 1

I think I’ll grow my hair.

 

Day 2

Should my hair be growing this fast? I wish I had someone to ask. But yesterday, it was above my shoulders, and today…well, today, it’s brushing the small of my back.

How does hair even work, anyway?

 

Day 3

I’ve got really good at braiding.

 

Day 4

I’m baking bread. We’re all baking bread. I live at the top of a tower block of apartments, twenty floors high. The scent of fresh-baked bread comes in through the vents, through the barely cracked windows, through the floorboards.

I eat bread, and braid my hair, and watch the tiny people out of my window.

This is my life now.

 

Day 5

They used to explain why, with every lockdown, every enforced isolation period. There used to be charts and maps and lists. TV—remember TV?—was a non-stop broadcast of why, and when, and what to do next. Who was essential enough to leave their homes. Who must stay put, until told otherwise.

This time, there wasn’t much at all. A leaflet under the door. A siren in the air.

I think perhaps they don’t want to explain because then they’d have to admit what is happening. It’s not a virus this time. It’s something else, something no one wants to say out loud.

I can’t say for sure. But last time I looked out the window, watching the tiny people below, the small handful of emergency personnel (uniformed, masked, geo-tagged) or licensed delivery people allowed to walk across bridges, cross each other’s paths, exist in the real world… I’m certain I saw one of them transform into a bear.

A while later, another grew large, too large, teetering on giant feet.

One security guard outside our own building grew so small I could no longer see them at all. Shrunk to the size of a mouse? Or actually transformed into a mouse?

I’m so high up. I can’t be sure.

And yet.

I know.

 

Day 6

It’s possible I’ve been reading too many fairy tales.

 

Day 7

Can anyone ever really read too many fairy tales?

 

Day 8

I do not consider myself a collector, and yet I have so many books, in every room. Fairy tales, all of them: classic collections, picture books, vintage tomes, modern retellings.

If I’m a collector, does that mean I’m not an obsessive?

All I have to read is here. Which is fine, because this is all I have ever read, for as long as I can remember. Fairy tales on fairy tales on fairy tales.

But now we can’t go out, now the broadcasts have turned into static and the internet has given up the ghost…

(How many bars do you have? My devices flatlined on Day 1.)

Now we live in a new world order where ordinary citizens can’t leave our apartment towers, and those essential workers still allowed outside keep transforming into things that aren’t people…

There’s no way to get new books.

So, this is it. All the books I’m ever going to read, here against my walls in shelves and stacks. This is the final collection.

And I wonder: if all I have to read is fairy tales for the rest of my life, then either that’s a terrible coincidence, or somehow I knew the future was going to look like this.

 

Day 9

It’s possible I am in fact a collector of books about fairy tales. What other explanation is there?

 

Day 10

I saw a person today. He flew past my window, tiny as a bird with buzzing wings. His face was quite clearly the same as the last delivery person who brought me noodles from the local place.

(The local place no longer answers my calls. I still have a landline, but no one’s ever on the other end. It rings and rings.)

Perhaps if I make friends with the tiny flying people, they’ll bring me acorns and sugar water and keep me alive.

 

Day 11

My grocery order, made by phone eight days ago, finally arrived. I did not see who delivered the bags to my door, but I heard hoof beats and what sounded like a horse’s neigh just around the corner, heading for the lift.

I have to think it was a magical horse. I don’t think anyone’s ever convinced a non-magical horse to use a lift in a tower block.

At least I have ramen, and apples, and eggs. Life could be worse.

 

Day 12

Today it rained rose petals, from 11am until 4 in the afternoon.

I have questions.

 

Day 13

Today I turned a teacup into a frog.

I turned an egg into a tiny baby dragon who hid from me behind the spoons.

I turned a handful of my own hair into a plate of shortbreads that I couldn’t quite bring myself to eat.

Apparently, I am a witch now.

That feels like progress.

 

Day 14

My hair is now so long that it doesn’t always follow me from room to room. It swirls around the lamp and the chair, stays put while I walk from the bathroom to the fridge and the bookshelves and back again.

At bedtime I have to walk backwards, retracing my steps, to unravel myself from the furniture. It’s time to cut my hair.

 

Day 15

Cutting my hair was a mistake.

 

Day 16

Yes, yes, every time I cut it, it grows faster, I get it now. I’ve read that story.

Thanks very bloody much, E. Nesbit.

 

Day 17

Today I pushed my hair out of the window. It billowed and fell in tumbling, golden waves. Some of it braided. Some of it tangled. Some of it threaded through sleeves of garments and indoor plants and sewing projects I’ll never see again.

My hair fell and it kept falling, over the edge to the street below.

I’m not getting out of this tower any other way. I know that now.

 

Day 18

Last time I walked as far as the lift, the buttons failed to respond. There used to be a set of emergency stairs, but the door has disappeared.

That was days ago, before I gave up on escape. When I thought perhaps my final hope was pushing my hair out the window.

Maybe someone would climb it. Maybe someone would solve my problem for me. Maybe someone would pull me to my death.

Fairy tales are all about innovation and hope. Aren’t they? Sometimes they’re about kindness.

I’ve read so many fairy tales, it’s possible that I failed to take the most important message of all away from them.

Stories are not real life.

No one’s coming to save me.

 

Day 19

Today, I climbed out of the window.

I wound my hair around and around the curtain hooks to hold it fast, then I hung from it, so I could cut myself off my hair and not the other way around.

Then I climbed out, clinging to the window ledge, as my body began to grow instead of the hair. Faster and faster. I grew heavy, leaden. My limbs extended. My weight made the building creak.

Finally, large enough, I stepped down into the street.

Safe. Free.

Now I am a giant woman, standing astride the city, still growing.

I saved myself, but who will save the city from me?

 

Are you wondering how I knew I could make myself grow? The answer is simple: I read it in a book.

Day ???

Here we are again.

What did you miss?

I grew so large that the city broke beneath my weight, so large that air went thin and breathing became impossible. When I fell, I became a force of nature. Destruction. Damage. Earthquake. Cavernous ravine.

I fell, and the continent screamed beneath me.

Act of—well, no. Not god. Fairy tale, perhaps.

Act of fairy tale.

Do I regret it?

Ask me again in the future.

 

After I fell, I slept. And when I awoke—now, whatever day this is—I found that someone, some brave and hardy soul, had cut my hair in my sleep. Don’t ask me what they used. Helicopters? War planes. A single axe, over and over, cutting through a single hair like it was an ageless redwood. Something clever like that.

 

Now my hair is growing again, and I have returned to standard human height. Here I sit. Weighing next to nothing, comparatively speaking. Trapped in another tower.

This one is not an apartment block.

Someone built this tower out of the remains of a city that fell to the fairy tale plague. It’s made from spindles and gold balls and thorns and dead wolves. It’s made from straw and sticks and bricks.

My hair whorls out beyond the walls and windows, ever-growing, an ocean of myself, pushing outwards. The world will drown in my hair, eventually.

Here I remain, trapped inside, with nothing to read.

 

Day 31

They sent a prince to solve the problem that is me with mathematics and measuring. Apparently, he read the solution in a book. A good sign all around: people still read fairy tales.

I probably shouldn’t have turned him into a frog, but I was having a bad day.

 

Day 47

Today, no one came to save me or to kill me, which makes a change from recent events.

It’s time to save myself. Again.

If that means saving the world from me at the same time, well. Things can be two things at the same time.

They have left me nothing—no food, no water. Nothing I could possibly work magic upon. Nothing I could transform. Except the tower for itself, the hair on my head, the skin on my bones.

I bit a piece of fingernail from my hair, and transformed it into a gleaming, shining sword.

And then…well.

You know what I did next.

You probably read it in a book.

I cut my hair from my head, and my head from my hair, at the same time. The sword swished. The blade cut.

And after that…

I was unstoppable.

Bramblewilde

“There is only one thing to do,” Mrs. Rothchild said. “We must pay a visit to Bramblewilde.”

So Mrs. Rothchild raised her most intimidating parasol, and Mrs. Wollstonecraft wrapped herself in her embroidered cloak, and Mrs. Clarke fetched her straw hat trimmed with a bit of this and that from her husband’s shop, and together they set off to call on the fairy.

At that time, Bramblewilde lived in a cottage at the edge of town—a cottage covered in a riot of roses and blackberries, with hives of bees who produced the most golden honey imaginable. No one then living remembered how or when or why the fairy came to live in the cottage, rather than in Faerieland where they belonged. But their spells and charms could be relied upon to work—if not quite in the way one expected—and so Bramblewilde and the town lived in dubious mutual beneficence.

When Mrs. Rothchild, Wollstonecraft, and Clarke knocked on their cottage’s door, Bramblewilde was checking the aging of their blackberry cordial. They shook the bottle, bits of pulpy fruit bobbing in the purple liquid, residual sugar washing back and forth. They stuck one long finger into the mix to taste. They smacked their lips. Nearly done.

“And won’t you be surprised,” Bramblewilde chuckled, replacing the bottle on its shelf.

They opened the door.

Mrs. Rothchild, Wollstonecraft, and Clarke struck their most imposing postures.

“We’re here about our daughters,” Mrs. Rothchild said, shoving her way into Bramblewilde’s stone-flagged kitchen. Bundles of herbs and snared rabbits swung from the rafters overhead.

“They refuse to listen to reason,” Mrs. Wollstonecraft said, wringing her hands.

“They forget their place!” Mrs. Clarke scowled.

“Frankly,” Mrs. Rothchild said, “I fear they are unmarriageable.” She snapped her parasol closed and sniffed with distain at Bramblewilde’s loose curls and shapeless shift.

Bramblewilde smiled a long, slow, sideways smile. “Oh? I’ve heard rumors—”

“They are witches,” Mrs. Rothchild cut them off with a purse of her lips.

“And dear friends,” Mrs. Wollstonecraft said.

“Rebellious heathens,” Mrs. Clarke grumbled. Mrs. Rothchild poked her ankle with the parasol.

“Sit,” Bramblewilde said. “Tell me more.” They indicated a group of rough wooden chairs around their kitchen table, though they themselves continued to rummage around the room, one pointed ear half-cocked to the women.

“You know who we are, I suppose?” Mrs. Rothchild asked.

Bramblewilde cut their long green eyes at her. “You I know.”

Mrs. Rothchild was the wife of the town’s richest citizen: the renowned Wizard Rothchild. To her everlasting regret, it had been he who first introduced their daughter to the Art.

“And that, I believe,” Bramblewilde licked their teeth, “is the vicar’s wife there.” They nodded to Mrs. Wollstonecraft.

Mrs. Wollstonecraft inclined her head.

Unlike many, the Reverend Wollstonecraft saw no contradiction in the study of the Art with that of the Gospel. From the beginning he’d noticed his daughter’s keen intellect and encouraged her education—the result being, of course, this visit to Bramblewilde.

“And this,” Mrs. Rothchild gestured to Mrs. Clarke, who pulled herself up and tried to look important, “is the wife of the poorer haberdasher.” Mrs. Clarke deflated.

Mr. Clarke had once taken a book of spells in payment for his best hat. The book now sat in pride of place on a little cloth-covered table in the sitting room, enduring many a dark glance and muttered curse from Mrs. Clarke.

“I imagine your daughters are quite powerful,” Bramblewilde said, “the three together.” Their eyes flared in the dim kitchen.

“Morgana’s love spells are famed throughout the county,” Mrs. Rothchild said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “When I tried to teach her embroidery, she turned every panel into a spell, pricking her fingers and bleeding over the thread.”

“Minerva is so clever,” Mrs. Wollstonecraft sighed. “Yesterday I heard her correct Mr. Darnley on his translation of Ovid.” She bit her lip. “I tried to interest her in some more womanly arts, like music, but I’m afraid her plinking at the harpsichord is as tedious as a metronome.” She made a pained face, her eyes welling with tears. “And do you know—she had hidden another book behind the sheet music!”

Mrs. Clarke patted her on the back and clucked sympathetically. “Millicent’s great bloody owl has ruined all my carpets,” she said.

Bramblewilde blinked.

“Her familiar.” Mrs. Rothchild rolled her eyes.

“What is it you want?” Bramblewilde asked.

“Husbands.” Mrs. Clarke’s eyes gleamed.

“We fear, without your assistance, the girls will become spinsters.” Mrs. Wollstonecraft shook her head.

“And we want them,” Mrs. Rothchild said, “as soon as may be arranged. While there is still time for grandchildren.”

“Very well.” Bramblewilde said. “I will need something of value from each of you, then. And you must make a promise—no—you must solemnly swear to never harm, harangue, or try to coax or bring away by force an occupant of this cottage, no matter what becomes of the magic.”

The women swore.

“Good,” Bramblewilde said. “And for the tokens…” From Mrs. Rothchild they took a pearl-headed hatpin. From Mrs. Wollstonecraft, a handkerchief she’d embroidered before her wedding. And from Mrs. Clarke—to her great horror—Bramblewilde took the gold ring she wore on her right hand.

“These,” Bramblewilde said, “will ensure your daughters marry the men I find for them.” They secreted the tokens away in some pocket of their shift. “But the magic will not work so well on your husbands.” They took three little jars of honey down from a shelf and handed one to each woman. “If they have questions, feed them this.”

The women took the honey gratefully, as if they could already hear their husbands’ protestations.

“It’s a nice place you have here,” Mrs. Clarke said as they stood to leave. She eyed the doorways speculatively, as if wondering how many rooms the cottage might contain.

“Very well-kept,” Mrs. Wollstonecraft said, her eyes on the shining copper pans.

Mrs. Rothchild popped the door open and raised her parasol with a snap. “Worth being thrown out of Faerieland?” she quipped.

Bramblewilde whirled, their sharp teeth bared. “That is a lie!” They mastered themselves before adding, “I left.” They slammed the door in the women’s faces.

Mrs. Rothchild raised her eyebrows.

The following Monday, a young man was seen alighting from a carriage in the Rothchilds’ front drive. “Mr. Lambe, for Miss Morgana,” he said to the footman who opened the door. “I am expected.” He had wild brown poet’s locks and flashing green eyes, and he wore a suit of the most exquisite tailoring. The only strange thing about him was a gaudy pearl stickpin, a full six inches long, thrust through his cravat.

Morgana was ushered into her mother’s best parlor to speak with him, rather confused, and thus inclined to be indignant—though not so much that the spectacular sight of Mr. Lambe lounging on her mother’s powder blue sofa did nothing to mollify her. She took a seat beside him.

“What can I do for you?” she asked. “I’m not sure we’ve been introduced—”

Mr. Lambe tugged the pin from his cravat, and—poof!—there was Bramblewilde!

Morgana recoiled with a shriek. “Bramblewilde! Put the stickpin back at once. And next time, warn me before you become something so alarming as your true self!”

Bramblewilde replaced the pin, chuckling all the while. “My apologies, Miss Morgana,” they said as Mr. Lambe.

“Whatever are you doing here? And looking like that?”

Bramblewilde spread their hands. “Your mother recently came to me with a request. It seems she believes it time you marry.” They shrugged. “By whatever magical means necessary.”

“That bitch,” Morgana hissed. “I’ll show her whatever magical means—”

“Yes, yes,” Bramblewilde interrupted, waving one hand. “That’s why I’m here.”

Morgana narrowed her eyes. “What are you talking about?”

Bramblewilde seemed surprised. “Why, your emancipation, of course!”

“Go on.”

“You don’t wish to marry.”

“Obviously.” Morgana rolled her eyes. “To be tied to one man forever—how tedious!”

“And a witch of your caliber—the talk of your love spells has singed even my pointed ears—would be hard to trick into love.”

Morgana tossed her head.

“And so I am willing to cut you a deal. You may marry me—as Mr. Lambe—and come into your inheritance. All a sham, of course, but a sham that will satisfy your mother and get you out of her house, and your hand in the bank account as well! You could even say I died afterwards,” they added, inspired, “and set yourself up as a wealthy widow.” Bramblewilde rubbed their hands together. “All I would need in return is that you use your skills to do one little thing…”

In the second-best parlor, the Wizard Rothchild asked, “Who was that at the door? He asked for Morgana.”

“A suitor.” Mrs. Rothchild simpered.

“He looked a devilish rake to me.” The Wizard Rothchild narrowed his eyes. “I suppose he’s wealthy?”

“As Croesus.” Mrs. Rothchild beamed, busily stirring a bit of honey into her husband’s tea.

“When the lion falls in love with the lamb,” Bramblewilde chuckled as they danced a jig at their front gate, waving Mrs. Rothchild’s hatpin triumphantly in the air. “When you build me a palace of paper to live in! When you bottle sunlight and cage the night, then…Then!

“Ha ha!” The gate banged shut behind them. “Tie my hands with a geas, would you? I’ll show you…”

That Wednesday afternoon, a young curate knocked on the Wollstonecraft’s door. He wore a somber suit of black, with a wide-brimmed hat covering his brown curls. His long hands were folded in front of his waist in a dignified manner. The only strange thing about him was a faded handkerchief poking out of his breast pocket—a handkerchief embroidered with feminine violets and curls.

“Mr. Bridewell. I’m here to see Miss Minerva,” he said when the servant girl opened the door. He was shown into the sitting room where the family had gathered. “I am the curate at Farmbrook,” he explained to the Reverend Wollstonecraft. “I had the privilege of meeting the lovely Minerva when she was staying with her aunt there.”

Minerva said nothing, only watched him narrowly from a corner by the hearth, her book open on her lap.

“The curate of Farmbrook?” Reverend Wollstonecraft asked. “I’ve never heard your name before.” He eyed Mr. Bridewell beadily. “What are your intentions regarding my Minerva? You’re aware of her unique education, I suppose?”

Mrs. Wollstonecraft coughed pointedly. “Dearest—Mayfield’s made us some scones. Why don’t you come with me into the morning room and have a few with that honey I got from our neighbor, and leave the young people to their reunion?” She took her husband’s elbow.

Once he and Minerva were alone, Mr. Bridewell pulled the handkerchief from his pocket and—poof!—there was Bramblewilde!

“I thought so,” Minerva said, calmly setting her book down on the hearth.

Bramblewilde explained her mother’s visit. “But it’s clear to me you are ill-suited to the life of housewife,” they said.

“I confess honorary membership in the local Latin lending libraries and Magical Societies holds much greater appeal,” Minerva said dryly.

Bramblewilde flourished their handkerchief with a sigh. “You and your dear friends must encounter male censure everywhere.”

“We have ways of dealing with it,” Minerva said, though her eyes blazed with passion as she gazed at the handkerchief. “Morgana and I need only begin chanting—any old nonsense will do—to clear a whole room of tiresome detractors.”

Bramblewilde raised their eyebrows, their long feet tapping on the parquet floor. “Still, it would be useful, wouldn’t it—my handkerchief?”

“What is it you’re proposing, Bramblewilde?”

“That you marry me—as Mr. Bridewell. And after we are married, I will take you away from your mother’s house, where you may live freely.”

“In your cottage,” Minerva said. “And you’ll give me the handkerchief?”

“If you wish.” Bramblewilde smiled a long, slow, sideways smile. “Your mother said you were the clever one.”

“What is it you want in return, then?”

“When the lion falls in love with the lamb, when you build me a palace of paper to live in,” Bramblewilde chuckled as they danced a jig in at their front gate, Mrs. Wollstonecraft’s handkerchief tied around their neck. “When you bottle sunlight and cage the night, then…Then! Ha ha!”

The gate banged shut behind them. “I’ll build you a palace of paper to live in…”

On Friday night, a prosperous tradesman, with winking eyes and a cheerful brown face, swaggered in at the Clarkes’ gate. The curious neighbors could tell he was a prosperous tradesman because he wore a soft felt hat and a red jacket, and he had a shiny gold ring on the littlest finger of his right hand.

He whistled a jaunty tune, calling Millicent’s name under all the likely windows.

“Confound that racket!” Mr. Clarke cried. “Who the devil is that?”

Mrs. Clarke poked her head out the door. “I suppose you’d better come in,” she laughed.

The tradesman, who called himself Mr. Miller, was shown into the kitchen. Millicent stood at the table, feeding the resident mice to her owl.

“Saw her at market, did you?” Mr. Clarke scowled.

“Not at all, sir.” Mr. Miller swept off his hat in a bow. “I’m old Barnaby’s son—you know, your former business partner Barnaby? I’ve recently had some success in a business of my own, and have come to ask for Miss Millicent’s hand.”

Millicent looked askance.

“Who?” Mr. Clarke asked. “I don’t recall dealings with any Barnaby—”

“None of your airs!” Mrs. Clarke snapped at her daughter. She threaded her arm through her husband’s, who looked ready to launch into a long-winded speech on the history and causes of his modest success. “Come with me into the sitting room, dear. We’ll have a couple of those slices of honeycake.”

Once the Clarkes were out of earshot, Mr. Miller slipped the ring from his hand, and—poof!—there was Bramblewilde! He laughed delightedly at the look on Millicent’s face. The mouse wriggled from her hand and ran away across the tabletop, squeaking with alarm.

“The son of an old business partner, indeed!” Millicent sank into her seat. Her owl ruffled its feathers in a huff. “What tricks are you up to now, Bramblewilde?”

As Bramblewilde recounted her mother’s visit, tears welled in Millicent’s eyes.

“But I don’t wish to marry at all! I’m in love with—” She looked away, biting her lip.

“Ah!” Bramblewilde smiled. “I see.” They patted Millicent’s hand. “What if I told you there was a way you may live with the object of your affection—for the rest of your life, if you wish?”

Millicent stared at them, her eyes round. “How?”

Bramblewilde leaned back in their chair and put up their feet. “I’ve already cut a deal with her, and I’m here to offer the same to you. I could use your services, madam.” They nodded at the exasperated owl. “Or those of your familiar, at least. Do what I ask, and I will marry you—as Mr. Miller—and take you away from this pokey place to live with your love.”

“When the lion falls in love with the lamb, when you build me a palace of paper to live in, when you bottle sunlight and cage the night, then…” Bramblewilde chuckled as they danced a jig at their front gate, tossing Mrs. Clarke’s ring up and down. “Then you may rule Faerieland!”

Two weeks later, on a Friday, Morgana Rothchild was married to the mysterious Mr. Lambe in a ceremony talked about throughout the county for the next ten years. The bride carried, tucked into her nosegay, a strange and rather tawdry snarl of plaited ribbons, torn strips from Mr. Lambe’s cravat, and strands of brown hair. As the vows were exchanged, a dark-eyed girl in the audience wept openly. Afterwards, Morgana was carried away in a fine phaeton and rarely seen again.

That Sunday, Minerva Wollstonecraft wed Mr. Bridewell in a small service held in her father’s chapel. After the vows were exchanged and the wedding breakfast eaten, Minerva was carried away in a neat gig, presumably to the Farmbrook rectory, and not seen again—for quite some time, at least.

And Monday morning, Millicent Clarke married Mr. Miller in a quiet affair held in the sitting room behind her father’s shop. Afterwards, the giddy bride and her ruffled owl were carried away in a gaily painted cart strung with fluttering ribbons and bells, and never seen again—at least, not in town.

Now, a rake may make a good husband, if he is handsome and wealthy enough, and the name of a curate may slip a vicar’s mind. But, Mrs. Clark thought, to forget the name of a former business associate and his eligible son? Not even Mr. Clarke would do that. And so, as Millicent’s wedding cart turned onto the lane leading out of town, Mrs. Clarke followed behind, remaining out of sight.

Imagine her astonishment as the cart turned in at Bramblewilde’s! Mrs. Clarke ducked behind a convenient bush and watched, open-mouthed, as Mr. Miller took off her little gold ring, and—poof!—in his place stood Bramblewilde! Bramblewilde waved one hand, and the gaily painted cart and the mule that pulled it shrunk, becoming nothing more than an old saltbox and a bumblebee. The bumblebee flew away into Bramblewilde’s garden, wheeling drunkenly.

The cottage door sprang open. “There you are!” Morgana said. Millicent rushed into Minerva’s arms. Her owl squawked. “We thought you’d been held up!”

“Damned slow bee.” Bramblewilde kicked the saltbox.

Mrs. Clarke picked up her skirts and ran back into town as fast as she could.

“Now we’re all here, will you tell us what this is about, Bramblewilde?” Morgana asked. They led Millicent into the cottage’s cozy sitting room, her owl riding on her shoulder, her hand still clasped in Minerva’s. Minerva’s books were already piled in all the corners. A domed cage for Millicent’s owl sat atop one stack.

“You promised me the handkerchief,” Minerva reminded Bramblewilde.

“Greedy, greedy!” Bramblewilde shook their finger.

Millicent noticed they’d swiped a bottle from the kitchen. “Are we celebrating?”

“Not yet. Now is the time for you to fulfill your promises. You’ve practiced the spells? You remember what we planned?”

“Obviously,” Morgana said.

The young women rolled back the sitting room’s rug. Bramblewilde uncorked the glass bottle and poured its contents in a wide circle onto the floor. “Niamh Rose Sweetsap, I summon you!” they said in a loud voice.

A thunderclap filled the room. Morgana, Minerva, and Millicent shielded their faces. When they took their arms away, the most beautiful woman any of them had ever seen stood in the middle of the floor.

Lustrous red hair fell nearly to the backs of her knees. Her pale skin shone from within, as if she was lit with her own sunlight. Her eyes were two blue jewels, her lips swollen and red, her eyebrows a pair of perfect arches. She wore her thin shift as if it was the finest gown.

“Bramblewilde,” Morgana breathed, “who is that?”

“My mother.” Bramblewilde’s eyes flashed. “The queen of Faerieland.”

“Your mother?”

The woman bent and ran one fingertip across the sticky floorboards. She touched it to her tongue and gave a grim laugh. “Bramblewilde, is this what I think it is?”

Bramblewilde smiled a long, slow, sideways smile. “Blackberry cordial. Your favorite.”

Mrs. Clarke hammered on Mrs. Wollstonecraft’s door. “Trickery! Thievery! Deceit! That knave—I’ll ring their neck! I’ll wring all their necks! Mrs. Wollstonecraft, come quick!”

Minerva turned to Bramblewilde. “I think it’s time to explain.”

It was the queen who spoke. “I tried for many of your lifetimes to have a child.” Her words fell shimmering into the air, every movement of her lips a spell. “At last, I was obliged to resort to magic.”

“She swallowed a nut, and out I popped!” Bramblewilde sneered.

“Such a strange child.” The fairy queen frowned and shook her head. “Not at all what I’d expected. More like the wild fae of the meadows and woods than the beautiful court of Faerieland. Most fairy children settle into one thing as they grow up, but not Bramblewilde.”

Bramblewilde crossed their arms. “Once I was grown, I went to her and asked when I would rule Faerieland. She laughed and—Why don’t you tell them what you said?”

“Not until the lion falls in love with the lamb,” the queen recited, “when you build me a palace of paper to live in, when you bottle sunlight and cage the night, then you may rule Faerieland.”

Morgana looked thoughtful.

“Ah,” Minerva said.

Millicent nudged her owl and smiled a strange smile.

“I was your child—your heir!”

“You still had a chance!” The queen spread her hands and looked anguished. “It’s the traditional way of handling an unwanted request—you know this!” She appealed to the young women. “And can you imagine?” She gestured to Bramblewilde. “They on the throne of Faerieland?”

Millicent gasped. Minerva balled her hands into fists. Morgana looked outraged.

“You’re forgetting something, Mother,” Bramblewilde said. “You haven’t told them the best part yet.”

The fairy queen sighed like a saint. “When I realized it was their intention to leave me, I placed a geas on them: that if they left Faerieland, they may only use their magic to help others, and never their self.”

Minerva drew her dark brows together. “You made them a pariah,” she said.

“You ensured they were helpless!” Morgana scoffed.

“Helping others is all well and good,” Millicent said, “but sometimes it’s better to protect yourself.” Her owl shifted its weight on her shoulder and hooted softly in agreement.

The queen turned white with rage. Dark threads of cloud roiled around her body. Lightening crackled within. “Why have you summoned me here?” she asked Bramblewilde.

Bramblewilde drew themselves up to their entire height of four and a half feet. “Mother—I have fulfilled the terms.”

No.” The storm surrounding the queen’s body played itself out with a crack. Her beautiful eyes flew wide.

Mrs. Clarke and Mrs. Wollstonecraft beat their fists on Mrs. Rothchild’s door. “Knavery! Trickery! Deceit! And our daughters in the thick of it! Come quick, Mrs. Rothchild, come quick!”

“You couldn’t have!” the fairy queen cried.

“I had a little help.” Bramblewilde smiled. “Morgana?” They snapped their long fingers, and Morgana stepped forward like a schoolgirl about to recite.

“Last Friday, Gabriella Leoni fell deeply in love with a certain Mr. Lambe.” Morgana’s eyes twinkled. “It’s a pity for her, Mr. Lambe doesn’t exist.”

The queen narrowed her eyes.

“I can summon her here, if you like. But I assure you, my love spells are the very best. She’ll be pining for some weeks still.”

“Unnecessary.” The queen flicked her fingers dismissively, though her face was tight.

Morgana curtsied ironically and stepped back.

Bramblewilde reached into their shift and pulled out a small glass jar. “And to bottle sunlight and cage the night…” They tossed it to the queen.

She caught it with one hand. “Honey,” the queen said. Her nostrils flared.

“Millicent?”

Millicent stepped forward, her owl on her forearm. “Fly home, Luna,” she said. The owl took off in a rush of feathers and wind, soaring across the room to perch in the open cage in the corner.

Millicent crossed the room and closed the wire door with a click.

The queen trembled, dark tendrils curling around her ankles. “And the palace of paper?” she snapped.

Minerva stepped forward without being asked, her hands raised like a conductor. She closed her eyes and began to chant. Books flew towards her from all corners of the room, stacking and arranging themselves into a tower of paper and ink. Luna squawked as her cage toppled to the floor. When she was finished, Minerva opened her eyes and surveyed her work with a little nod.

The queen laughed derisively, looking down her nose at the tower of books. “I hope you don’t expect full points for that. The terms specify a ‘palace of paper to live in.’ I couldn’t possibly fit—”

Morgana and Millicent stepped forward and joined hands with Minerva. She began chanting again.

“You’re right,” said Bramblewilde. “You couldn’t possibly fit—as you are.”

The queen shrieked. She was shrinking rapidly, the height of Bramblewilde, the size of a child, a rabbit, a mouse… She ran around the edges of the ring of cordial, screaming, “Let me out! I was a good mother! Bramblewilde—my child! I’ll make you a lord, give you a title and lands…” Her voice got smaller and smaller until it was nothing but a high-pitched squeak. “My mother tossed me into the cowslips and expected me to fend for myself. I tried to teach you—”

“To be something they’re not?” Morgana said.

The queen was the size of an insect now. A book fell from the top of the tower with a thump. Its pages flew open, its words rearranging themselves. The queen climbed onto the page to make her final request—and she disappeared.

Morgana, Minerva, and Millicent let go of one another’s hands. Minerva crossed the ring of cordial and bent to pick up the book. In the middle of the page were the words: “Niamh Rose Sweetsap.” She shut the book with a thump.

Mrs. Rothchild, Wollstonecraft, and Clarke rushed to Bramblewilde’s gate.

“We will drag them back by force, if necessary!” Mrs. Rothchild cried. She stretched her hand out to open the gate, but to her surprise, she found she could not. It was as if some invisible wall stopped her. “You try, Mrs. Wollstonecraft.”

Mrs. Wollstonecraft reached out her hand but could not touch the gate either. “It’s as if unseen spirits stopped my hand!” she gasped.

“Oh, get out of my way!” Mrs. Clarke said.

Inside the cottage, the sound of the women’s bickering reached their daughters’ ears. Minerva froze in the act of handing the book to Bramblewilde.

They ran to the window, the book tucked under the fairy’s arm, just in time to see Mrs. Clarke rush to the gate and fall on her back.

“It’s Mother!” Millicent trembled.

Minerva’s eyes went wide.

Morgana laughed. “They can’t get in!”

“They are held to their oaths.” Bramblewilde chuckled and slapped their shins.

The women opened their mouths to plead with their daughters to come back, to berate them for their trick, but they found their tongues had turned heavy as stone. They opened and closed their mouths like fish.

“They can’t speak!” Millicent rejoiced.

“Not to ask you to leave, at any rate.” Bramblewilde stuck out their tongue at the window and turned away.

“You have fulfilled your promises,” they said to the young women. “The cottage is yours, along with these tokens.” They reached into the bottomless pocket of their shift and handed Minerva the hatpin, the handkerchief, and the ring. “Your mothers’ oaths are bound up in them, so keep them safe. And if you ever find you need a man about—” Bramblewilde slipped the hatpin through Minerva’s shawl with a grin.

“How strange,” Minerva said as Mr. Lambe.

Morgana raised her eyebrows.

Millicent giggled.

Minerva slipped out the hatpin and weighed it in her slender hand. “Thank you, Bramblewilde,” she said. She bit her lip, gazing out of the window to where their mothers still stood by the gate, opening and closing their mouths ineffectually. “If we leave the cottage, will their oaths still hold?”

Bramblewilde shook their head. “No, but you will always be safe here.” They shifted the book beneath their arm. “How much time you spend on the other side of the fence is up to you.”

The young women followed Bramblewilde to the back door. Millicent stepped forward and kissed the fairy’s hands.

Bramblewilde flushed with astonishment.

“Thank you again, Bramblewilde,” Millicent said.

“Remember us when you come into your kingdom,” Morgana quipped.

Bramblewilde opened the back door, letting in a breeze that smelled of honey and roses and green things. “The lords and ladies will take some convincing.” They brandished the book. “But this should do the trick.” They stared out at the line of trees at the back of their land—the edge of the forest bordering Faerieland.

“What will happen to her? The queen?” Minerva nodded to the book.

“I’ll open the pages when I’m ready.” Bramblewilde grinned. They stepped out of the door, whistling a jaunty tune.

The young women waved from the doorway.

And for the first time in no-one-knew-how-many years, Bramblewilde danced a jig all the way back to Faerieland.

 

(Editors’ Note: Jordan Taylor is interviewed by Caroline Yoachim in this issue.)

The Hurt Pattern

Whenever Nick, over in the workstation across the room, would blurt out “fuck, I got another beheading,” Kenny would pinch the bridge of his nose and sigh and want, more than anything, to say “I don’t care.” Monitors formed a semi-circle in front of Kenny, and his fingers, tips glowing blue with the implants, moved absently in front of them, swiping information—an image, a video, an encoded message on a Reddit forum—into a bucket, tapping the screens to tag the bit and dress it up as an alert for the client it would be routed to. A quick video of militia picking over the aftermath of a massacre in a Cameroonian village, part of the ongoing Ambazonian separatist crisis, tapped, tagged, dropped in a bucket. Kidnapping in Lagos. Attack on a Chinese-run mining camp in Kenya. Tapped, tagged, dropped in a bucket.

It had only taken Kenny four months to fall into this groove, to learn the system, to find a monitor setup that worked for him, to turn off the parts of himself he needed to turn off for when the company’s tech synced with his augments to implant the info straight into his skull. On the train home after work, he was smiling ruefully, because his mind had shot towards one of his early interviews for this gig where one of what he would discover to be his manager’s managers asked if he was cool with experiencing extreme content. Kenny had on his “I take this seriously” face, not because he feared what the question portended but because his law fellowship was in the rearview and his student loan forbearance period was coming to an end and he owed the Department of Education more than his mother’s house was worth. And now he could listen to Nick say, way too loudly so that everyone could hear, “fuck, I got another beheading!” like the MENA beat was somehow uniquely traumatizing. Like the startup didn’t have the same two guys covering Mexican cartels and U.S. gang activity. Like Kenny hadn’t spent the day watching a man dressed in olive green playfully toe a piece of skull belonging to a body at the bottom of a mountain of corpses.

He should have done this before leaving for the day, but he’d wanted to make an earlier express train, so it was only as he sank into the somewhat resistant seat of the train cushion—having been expectorated by the subway—that he set about partitioning his work-related memories of his interaction with the company algorithm and moving them to a secure folder in his braincase. The click and swipe always ended with an exhale, as though, surrounded by these upper-middle class white business people fleeing NYC for the comfort of too-big houses in Connecticut, he could breathe out the day’s agony, reunite his selves, the part of him that thought and the part of him that felt.

But as he prepared for sleep in his tastefully spartan Bridgeport one-bedroom, images swam in tendrils of colored dust of the protest action in Kinshasa he’d witnessed just before shift’s end, the barricades the protesters had set up as the sun set, the bright yellow and orange shirts the young protesters wore set against the blue-black sky, the tail of rainbow fume trailing a tear gas canister that arced through the air. Coughing, screaming, crying.

In a few minutes, Kenny was snoring.

The next morning, Kenny stepped off the elevator and hurried to the in-office kitchen, even as colleagues gathered in the large conference room. The hoverchairs had already been requisitioned and the young and less-young, the tattooed and the plain-skinned, the Augmented and the untouched, lined the walls while Kenny hunted for the bagels they’d been promised in the pre-dawn email.

All that remained amidst the torn paper bags and dying electric slicer were halves of everything but what he wanted and, of course, none of the spreads had retained their labeling.

The chatter on the other side of the glass wall separating the kitchen from the Elysian Fields open area with its picnic benches and metal chairs was dying down, and Kenny saw that the door to the large conference room had swung closed. He whispered a soft, “fuck it,” stuffed a cleanly-sliced half of a raisin bagel in his mouth and, fighting the urge to vomit, hurried to the conference room.

A hologram bust of a balding man with fucked-up teeth appeared against the far wall, shoulders and chest revealing the man wore a black V-neck over what he perhaps hoped suggested a svelte figure.

Kenny entered mid-drone amidst a bevy of figures: volume of notifications delivered to clients by this point of the year, what they were on track to reach by end of quarter, revenue projections, and a whole wastebucket of other things Kenny didn’t give a fuck about. Slipping off his messenger bag and chewing on his tastes-like-cardboard bagel half, he caught Sasha’s eye across the room and smirked around his breakfast. Settled in, he beamed memes he’d come across during his morning train ride into Sasha’s braincase: a distorted photo of a banker in a slim tie and a red ballcap with baked beans spilled on his lap; a photo of a young boy turning away from an old-school computer monitor to glare beneath hooded eyes at the photo taker, the caption reading: “MY PARENTS CAUGHT ME ON PORNHUB AND FORCED ME TO HAVE MY PICTURE TAKEN”; a video of a silver alien dancing in front of a crowd of screaming kids with the text “[crying in spanish]” close captioned at the bottom of the frame.

“I hate you,” Sasha beamed back at him, a swathe of dark salt-and-pepper hair swept like a peregrine falcon’s wing over one eye. Her grin fought against itself, and heat bloomed in Kenny’s chest at the sight.

Kenny scanned the room and, though some of the other area sharks swiveled in their hoverseats and effected poses of disinterest, most of them held that attentiveness that showed they’d long since drunk the company Kool-Aid. Sending information on the goings-on of the world to the military, to law enforcement, to search and rescue agents, to media watchers, knowing what was going on in the world before everyone else, that’s what this place, filled with the Best and Brightest™, purported as its mission. A mission cast in the noblest of lights. A mission that netted that hologrammed VP of Strategy a cool $3.5 mil in annual salary and had Kenny and Sasha and other area sharks dosing themselves with Librium and Klonopin every night before bed. The managers, many of them standing, having ceded their seats to the underclass, made sure to look as though they were paying attention, but Kenny knew about their private Slack channel and imagined half a dozen conversations happening among them while the Veep kept on about quarterly targets and new initiatives on the tech side.

“And we’re looking now to expand our finance coverage. So, yes, we are officially in business with the banks. Our finance coverage has been growing, but, as I’m sure you all know, everything is connected. I don’t have to tell you that. The area leads have already been briefed on the changes to coverage assignments and will be in contact with all the team managers to make sure things move smoothly and we can continue to hit our targets. Great work, guys.”

The hologram winked out, and everyone stirred to head to their stations. Kenny caught the eye of his team lead, a skinny, scraggly-bearded redhead named Tucker and nodded to the Elysian Fields, an unspoken “do you have a minute” hanging between them.

“What’s up?” Tucker said once they’d taken their seats opposite each other on the picnic bench.

“I wanna switch to the US bureau.”

“Oh?”

“That, or get the company to shell out for more benzos. The resin’s not coming off like it used to.” Resin. What they called the Residual Trauma they took home after eight-plus hours spent watching and documenting the worst days of peoples’ lives.

“Like, the media desk?”

Kenny knew that was a stretch. A Black guy covering Black culture? In this office? He almost scoffed out loud at the vanishingly small chance. “Anything, really. What’s this new finance thing? I can help out with that.”

Tucker dumped a sympathetic smile. Almost like he thought it was cute that Kenny figured the domestic beat less likely to contain horrors than Africa coverage. But Kenny wanted to tell him he knew what he was getting into, and that this would indeed be easier for him. It was much less likely that he would have to watch video of a woman screaming while fending off a machete attack who sounded so much like his own mother.

“Shots fired,” Kenny called out in a lackadaisical voice. Plugged into the Algo, it took him less than a second to scour nearby surveillance footage for familiar landmarks, street signs, the unfortunate state of the sidewalks, the bottle fragments in the street, the angle of the sun’s descent that told him the worst moment in this particular person’s life had happened at 6.32pm EST, 5.32 Central Time. “On Dixwell.”

“Gotcha,” said the area lead from across the room, as Kenny tapped the info, tagged it, then dropped it into the bucket.

As soon as he’d dropped the alert in the bucket to be rocketed off to the client, he moved onto the next thing. The day had mercifully been a bevy of traffic accidents, small home fires immediately put out with occasional forays into even more pedestrian matters. Failing scaffolding here, an uncovered manhole there, a bit of graffiti or vandalized surveillance camera here, drug paraphernalia spotted in a park over there.

“Nothing bad happens to white people,” he said in a private Slack to Sasha.

“Lmao, hold on.” An ellipsis made itself felt in his head as he waited for her to respond. “Sorry, there was just this press conference. This reporter who was supposed to be dead after security services raided his office two days ago just came back in a press conference like BITCH U THOUGHT!”

“There was a brawl in the Ugandan parliament last month,” he wrote back. And just like that, he found himself missing it. The color, the vibrancy, the music of the continent. The Nigerian pop star scandals, the Liberian footballer campaigning for the presidency and the way the crowd erupted in that one video of him descending onto the pitch in his old uniform to play a quarter-hour of that friendly, the memes that proliferated whenever there was load-shedding in the Hillbrow suburb of Johannesburg. Kenny found himself wondering if the massacres and the Boko Haram kidnappings and the occasional summary executions and the brutal protest crackdowns and the university riots were a small price to pay for the joy that thrilled through him at the sight of his people being brilliant and beautiful and hilarious. He’d spent 3x more of his life in the US than in Nigeria, but there were times when no place felt as much like home as Lagos. “It was lit.”

“Shots fired,” the area lead called out again. “North Lawndale.” A pause. “Officer-involved.”

“Gotta go,” Kenny wrote. “Love you.”

He closed the channel before she had the chance to break his heart by not writing it back.

“Don’t forget,” said the mother of Shamir Townsend from behind the podium while camera flash burst in sheen along her cheeks and forehead. “You see all the protests. You see the movement. And God bless all the people making this movement a living, breathing thing. But you see all these people with all these different agendas, all these people—celebrities, even—making speeches. And at the bottom of it all is a dead boy. My son, Shamir.”

Kenny had the press conference playing in the background, in a small window on the monitor to his right. It was important, but it wasn’t breaking. Meaningful content, but not actionable. A month into his stint in the US bureau, he’d found and tagged and bucketed security footage of fully mechanized police, powered by the Algorithm his company had helped develop, rolling into a park and opening fire on what turned out to be a 13-year-old boy who had been using a hairbrush as a play gun. Well after the alert had been sent and the area sharks moved on with the rest of their day, Kenny found himself scouring the Net for more. Hacking into police scanners to find audio records of the seconds leading up to the shooting, tapping surveillance footage from the gazebo, catching trace signals from the nearby mobiles and Augmented witnesses nearby, all revealing pieces of the thing. The police vehicle zooming into view, the mid-sized Crusties unfurling from the doors, limbs uncurling until they’d reached their crab form, then the muzzle flash, continuing as they crept closer until the boy’s body had been riddled with steaming holes.

“You okay?” Sasha slacked him.

The message woke him up, and he noticed that most of the sharks in his area and others had left their desks for lunch.

“They have reggaeton empanadas again.”

He chuckled. “I’m good. Not on the empanadas, I’m def getting some. Just sayin, I’m good. What’s up?”

“Tucker’s been eyeballing you all shift. And lunch has been out for a bit. You haven’t got up yet.”

“I’ll get some.” The presser continued in his earbud while he worked. Mrs. Townsend was talking about the fight for accountability with the algorithmic policing. Just because the algo-engine’d robot “Crustaceans” unit had replaced flesh-and-blood police didn’t mean the police department had shed accountability. And now some public tech advocates were calling on the police to yet again release their source code.

A new message notification blinked in Kenny’s personal inbox. Dread calcified in the pit of his stomach. If it was Tucker, then he’d really be in for it. And he’d have to come up with some way to explain his listening to a post-shooting press conference for an event that happened months ago instead of doing his job.

Fuck it.

From Daisy Romero. Subject Line: STUDENT LOAN REPAYMENT PARTY!

“You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.”

“Shots fired in Rio,” someone from the LatAm desk called out.

Kenny slowly shook his head, smirking. “Sasha, check this out,” he slacked and forwarded to her email. “I need a plus one.”

“What is this?” Through her sensory data, Kenny could smell the empanadas.

“Friend from law school. Her husband’s a banker. If I gotta go alone, I might actually slit my wrists.”

“Okay, okay. But only if you have some of these fucking racist empanadas.”

Smiling, Kenny got up from his seat and shut off the press conference just as Mrs. Townsend was, tearfully grateful, returning to the podium.

The last time Kenny had set foot in Marea, he’d been on the cusp of a career in corporate law. Sunlit lunches with associates and the occasional partner who’d fashioned himself a mentor, where the summer glow glinted off the silver pinstripes in everyone’s suits to turn the room into an epileptic’s nightmare. Everything glistened: the silverware, the clothing, the platinum threaded in blond hair done up in buns, the polished augments that had been made of everyone’s limbs and digits, the antique cards—more ornament than utility—that they used to pay for everything. He could taste the memory of fusilli on his tongue, could feel the performance worm its way into his limbs, so that by the time he got to the backroom, he had to stop himself from walking in like a douchebag.

Dulcet lighting turned every edge in this backroom soft, rounded out the corners of the long table around which sat the revelers, all twenty- or thirty-somethings.

Chandeliers hovered at regular intervals over the revelers and right in the aureate cone cast by the center chandelier sat Daisy, née Lockwood, now Romero. Right next to her, with his arm draped over her shoulder and a single lock of shining black hair swaying over his Roman forehead was the presumed Mister Romero. He looked like a former law school classmate. Had the sparkling, corporate smile, the figure of a guy who gets up at six in the morning to work out so that by eight he’s in the office, and the physical ease of a man swiftly acclimated to new money.

Golden light bloomed on Daisy’s face when she saw Kenny, then beckoned him over. She made a show of clearing out a space next to her. As soon as Kenny set off, Sasha held his arm in her hands and pulled herself close. Together, they made their way, the others on Daisy’s side of the table scooching out on the plush leather seating to allow Kenny and Sasha to slide in.

“She’s cute,” Sasha murmured in Kenny’s ear. “You hit that?”

“Careful, Sash,” Kenny murmured back, grinning. “You see that rock on her finger?”

“That’s not a rock, Kenny. That’s a fucking meteor.”

“You’re drooling, Sash.”

“Hi!” said Sasha, reaching over Kenny with her left hand and catching Daisy’s. “Sasha. I work with Kenny.”

After a stunned beat, Daisy shot Kenny a look as though to say well done. In the next instant, her face was all politesse and she tugged her husband’s shoulder. “Hey, babe, this is Kenny. We went to law school together.”

Babe gripped Kenny’s hand in his. “Pleasure, man. Thanks for coming.”

Daisy glared a warning at her husband.

“Oh, shit. Juan. Name’s Juan.”

“That’s better, babe.” She pecked Juan on the cheek.

“Where’d you find him?” Sasha leaned in to whisper.

“Some POC mixer. I was at a different law firm. They had this event. You know the deal. Kenny and I used to go to those all the time. Room full of power bottoms about to make too much money.” When Daisy said that, Sasha arched an intrigued eyebrow, as though to ask if Daisy really talked like this. Daisy angled her face to Sasha. “Kenny was the best part of these things. Only time corporate law didn’t feel like living through some lifelong horror-comedy.”

“What does he do?” Sasha asked, somehow with a glass of wine already in her hand.

Daisy took a beat before saying, “Banker.”

Sasha made a yikes face. Kenny’s expression turned porcelain.

“But we balance it out,” Daisy said, rushing in. “I’m at a civil rights firm now, so that balances it out.” A sympathetic smile ricocheted between the three of them. “I mean, you know, Kenny. You know what it’s like. The debt. Gets to be the biggest number in your life and you have to hold off all sorts of stuff. Life decisions and whatever. You have to kill your dreams and ambitions and your hopes, just so you can get your head above water.”

“There’s also indentured servitude,” Kenny ribbed, wiggling his aquamarine fingertips.

“Oh, God,” Daisy whispered.

“I mean, they package the message as ‘tech this’ and ‘innovation that,’ and they do take a chunk outta the debt with the lease on my body, but it’s literally the least invasive way to go about paying that stuff off. Look, everyone’s got augments. Mine are just free. Fact, they’re freer than free.”

“But, Kenny, that means you can only work for approved employers.”

Kenny snorted. “List is big enough.” He shifted, made more space for Sasha, for backup. “Tell me about work. Fightin’ the good fight.”

“Wish you were down here in the trenches with me?”

“Eh, maybe.”

For the briefest of instants, Daisy’s mask faltered and a darkness swarmed beneath the skin of her face, like shadows fucking, and Kenny caught a glimpse of how haggard the work made her, how much whatever it was she did taxed her. A hungry part of him saw the pain and sought it out. “Tell me about it. Really.”

Daisy sighed, eyed Kenny and Sasha. “Well, since the police went Algo, lotta people stopped making wrongful death lawsuits. Imagine trying to fit a Crusty into the witness stand. Can’t bring an algorithm to court, and what’re you gonna do when you convict? Put a fucking robot on desk duty? Sometimes, though, you can get a payout. It’s never enough. Especially for an officer-involved shooting. No amount of money’s ever going to bring back a son or a brother or a father or a sister or whatever, but it’s money. It’s better than nothing. We all know the Algo’s not perfect. Everybody does. But a 13-year-old boy gets shot in a park and all evidence points to police misconduct, but the Algo told those toasters to do it. They’re not gonna admit to a malfunction. That would mean recalling all the units they spent dozens of millions of dollars to pay for. So,”—she shrugged—“the Nuremberg defense. ‘I was just following orders.’”

“Wait, you said a 13-year-old boy got shot in the park?” Kenny could feel Sasha tightening next to him, wine glass to her lips, her whole body urging Kenny to be careful.

“Yeah, Shamir Townsend. The firm’s been repping his mother on a wrongful death suit against the city, but really it’s just a play for the payout. This stays between us, k?”

Kenny shrugged. “Who am I gonna tell?”

Daisy relaxed. “It’s all fucked anyway. Poor people end up paying for this shit anyway.”

Sasha had leaned in but was making herself unobtrusive. “What, the city jacks up taxes?”

“Worse. Tax assessors overvalue homes in poor neighborhoods and undervalue properties in rich ones. So you got properties in, say, North Lawndale and Little Village in Chicago paying double the property tax rate than people living in Lincoln Park or on the Gold Coast. It’s like that everywhere. And that’s not even the fucking worst of it.”

Kenny couldn’t tell what his face looked like, but he knew he was trapped, enthralled, horrified. There was something different to this, though. This wasn’t instant. It wasn’t video. It wasn’t media. It wasn’t surveillance footage of an act. It wasn’t audio of an ongoing riot. It was a deeper injury. A drawn-out thing. Not a stabbing, but a knife drawn slowly along the skin.

“When you have to budget more for police tort liability, you have less for lead poisoning screening for poor children. Violence prevention initiatives, after-school programs, mental health clinics. All gone. Budget cuts.”

Kenny was too rapt to say anything. Sasha shook her head. “But these settlements, they’re millions and millions of dollars. The police don’t have to pay?”

Daisy snorted. “Police departments set aside a small slice of their budget for misconduct settlements. If the price is more than that, city’s on the hook. Not them. B’sides, it’s the city that pays for the robot.”

Sasha couldn’t stop shaking her head. “That’s fucked.”

Daisy exhaled. “Yeah.” And Kenny saw that face and knew there would be no more, not from Daisy. It hit like the comedown from a new drug, the bottomless despair, the instant and incessant hunger, the shame of it all. A moment later, everyone seemed to come to their senses, awake from whatever reveries or bromides or hungers they’d been trapped in, wiping the daydream from their eyes and seeing each other naked, and in swept Sasha calling out far too loud, “I am so hungry I could fuck a zebra right now.”

While the room lit up with laughter, Sasha caught Kenny’s gaze, and Kenny smiled what felt like an apology, and Sasha winked back a “you’re welcome.”

They were all supposed to be having fun.

In what felt like only seconds, the plates of fusilli arrived.

Holo-paint turned the walls of the conference room into open pasture with simulated wind blowing simulated stalks of wheat in mechanically precise rows far into the distance over verdant hills framed against an azure firmament. A glance overhead showed a sky the same shade of blue with cotton-colored clouds threaded through it.

Kenny and seven other sharks sat in hoverchairs around an oblong table while, at the head of the room, stood a white finance dude in shirt-sleeves rolled to the elbows and an Aryan-as-fuck face.

“I trust you all have had time to digest all the info on yesterday’s session about bonds, yeah? Pretty intro stuff, I know, so I’m gonna just jump right ahead into municipal bonds and—”

One of the sharks raised a hand and switched her voice software from Portuguese to English. “Why are we focusing on cities? This says they’re high-risk investments. If the city does a…bond…and they go bankrupt, they can’t pay it off. So our client loses money.”

“Good point, Fernanda. Except, under a lot of these state laws, the cities we’re focusing on can’t go bankrupt. What our clients are looking at is essentially guaranteed money…”

Kenny tuned the finance dude’s voice into background noise as he tapped and swiped through the hyperlinks in the material, scanning until he hit a page on something called “cat bonds” with a picture of what looked like a half-submerged city, roofs poking out like stepping stones through highway-wide rivers of blue. Risk-linked securities…sponsors…investors…triggered…industry loss index…

A random throwing-out of terms, data points, no constellation. Just a mess of jargon and a picture of a neighborhood destroyed by a hurricane.

“Like shootings.”

At that, Kenny sat up in his seat and tuned back into the lesson. “What?”

The finance dude stopped for a second. “You have a question, uh, Kenny, is it?”

“Yeah.” The finance terms swirled in his head like detritus in the funnel of a tornado. Then came the dinner party at Marea earlier that week and tax assessors and property value and police and Shamir Townsend. And he felt himself just on the cusp of an understanding. An epiphany that promised a pattern. “Uh, you were saying something about shootings?”

“Yeah.”

Kenny rushed in to save himself with an explanation. “I do a lot of security stuff. Law enforcement-related. Traffic, crime. I blanked for a second. What were you saying about shootings?”

“Oh, just in terms of stuff to watch out for. Anything that could cause a liability suit. This is all complex stuff, but it’s just background. Help to inform your decision-making. You just need to watch out for the stuff you’re already watching out for and ping one of us in Finance so we can jump on it and do our thing.”

“Oh.” Kenny tuned out again and tried to focus on the pattern just out of reach. All bright nodes and non-existent edges. Like trying to trace astral constellations in an afternoon sky.

“Shots fired,” Kenny called out with renewed vigor. “Cudell Park.” He knew his voice was too loud, like he was listening to music and trying to have a convo at the same time, but he couldn’t help it. In one tab, he had the Mrs. Townsend press conference replaying and, on another tab, he had news of the settlement the city had offered the family—$2.2 million USD—and in another, the reading materials on catastrophe bonds. All this, he tried to keep hidden in tiny incognito-mode browser windows he knew the company was monitoring anyway. Research, he would tell them. Hurricanes, forest fires, all stuff they were supposed to be tapping and tagging and bucketing anyway. It still took him a moment to remember to loop the finance guys in on the security stuff, a quick tag or a Slack or whatever. Sometimes, the notification would switch to a different alert bucket altogether right in front of him or he’d see finance fingerprints on something he’d already bucketed.

He opened another Slack channel and @’d one of the analytics people. “Hey, can you do a quick data pull for me?”

“What’s up?” came the reply.

“Can you get me a sheet of the domestic shootings we notified on with finance?”

Then glowing ellipses until, a few seconds later, he received a link to a GDoc.

While he tapped and tagged and bucketed, he scanned the data, murmuring to himself, “officer-involved, officer-involved, officer-involved…” A pause. “The fuck?”

“Yo, Sash,” he DM’d in another Slack channel. “Yo, all my shootings have finance on them. Is that weird?”

“I dunno. Is it?” Glowing ellipses. “Sorry, gotta bounce. Working a factory fire.”

“Cool.” He bit his lip.

He waited until his train hit the above-ground stops to call Daisy.

“Yo,” he beamed to her phone.

“Hey! What’s up? It was so good to see you the other night!”

Kenny smiled, realizing he’d forgot he was supposed to be polite. “It was good to see you too.
Congratulations. On, like, everything. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks, Ken.”

He could feel her blushing at the other end. “Look, Daze, I got a question.”

“Hope I got an answer.”

“Where does the money come from?”

“Money? For what?”

“For the settlements.” Kenny pulled himself back, tried to slow down. He felt himself on the edge of it. So close. “It can’t be the city. $2.2 million for one settlement, but there’s gotta be like how many a year? Some of these places are paying out, like, $147 mil a year. And we’re talking smaller cities. All for officer-involved shootings.” For much of the ride, he’d tapped into municipal records, news stories, past alerts, all using his security credentials against protocol, credentials that, tied to his augments, gave him the same access as a federal government employee. “Is it banks?”

“What are you saying?”

Kenny gulped. This was the new part, the less-formed part. The almost-pattern. “The cities are floating bonds, I think. To pay for the settlements.”

“From who? Goldman Sachs? J.P. Morgan?”

“…yeah.”

“But…but how? Why? Cities have the shittiest credit ratings. How is that a sound investment?”

“Fees. Interest. The banks get paid every period off the interest and handling fees and all of that.” He reminded himself to lower his voice. “And…and I checked the state laws. The cities that have the most shootings, they’re in states where it’s literally against the law for them to go bankrupt. I think, to pay off the one bond, they issue another. I don’t think the cops are malfunctioning. I think…I think the banks are getting paid off of these shootings.”

“Jesus.”

Beeping sounded. Another call. Sasha’s ID blinked before his eyes. “Shit. Look, Daze, I gotta go. Ask Juan about it.”

“Wait, but—” Dialtone.

“Hey, Sash, what’s up?”

“Kenny, can you come over?” Her voice was sorrow-soaked.

He sat up in his seat. “Sure, yeah, what’s wrong?”

“You up for some trauma bonding? Having trouble leaving work at work today. Can you come?”

Greed, hunger, lust, guilt all warred inside him. He hoped that Sasha heard only the right kind of eagerness in his voice when he said, “Yeah, I’ll be right over.”

The first time they’d fucked was during a spell of downtime on the second of a two-day al-Shabaab terror attack on a hotel complex in Nairobi. Day One, Kenny, blanketed in the paranoia fog that shrouds the recently jobless and newly hired, had been more locked in than he’d thought possible. Security footage, open calls from people trapped inside the buildings, terrorist channels online, to the point where he could feel his own torn dress shoes trying to step as softly as possible down bloodied corridors covered in pebbles of glass. He could hear the sporadic gunfire, the tearful, whispered phone calls, the online posts calling for help, giving as brief a room description as possible, the message saying that a poster’s phone was dying and they were unAugmented, unConnected. Then nothing.

And the following morning, he’d broken down on the train, one of those commuters wrapped in their own private sorrow while everyone went about the business of trying to make it to work that day. Things had slowed down on Day Two of the attack and Sasha had found him weeping in the office lactation room and he grasped for her, hungered for her, until they’d spent themselves with the quiet urgency of the hidden and hiding.

“Sash, this lighting is bisexual as fuck,” Kenny said, laughing, as he entered.

She was on a couch hugging a pillow, hair scattered over her face, smiling meaningfully through smeared mascara.

“I brought red for you and grenadine for me. You got Sprite? Ginger ale? Anything sparkly and see-through?”

“Come here,” she murmured, and Kenny obeyed because of that thing in her voice, and she pulled him onto her, and he vanished to himself until she said, “Kenny.”

“Yeah?”

“How you doin’?”

Kenny blinked, confused. “I…I’m fine. I’m good. I’m here for you.”

She smiled, and something in it pushed Kenny back so that he moved to the opposite end of the couch. For a long time, they occupied the couch like that: he at one end and she lounging at the other. “You figured it out, didn’t you.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry, Ken.” She waved a finger around her. “I got a Blanket. We’re not being watched. Nothing’s tapped.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The banks, the shootings, you figured it out, didn’t you.”

Kenny’s eyes widened. “You…you know?”

She nodded.

“You know that the new clients are making money off officer-involved shootings? Is that why they signed us?” His head spun. “Wait, fuck. But…but we’re also signed to local law enforcement. We do their algos. Wait.” His whole body felt leaden. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. No. Fuck.”

Sasha’s face was sympathetic but marble-solid.

“Sasha! We’re programming cops to shoot Black kids so that banks can make money!”

“Kenny.”

He stood suddenly, paced back and forth. “We can’t go internal. We…we have to do something. Your old journo friends. We have to tell them. We have to.”

Sasha shook her head, and the look in her eyes had turned a new shade of sad.

Dull pain filled the space beneath Kenny’s skin. Made him leaden.

“Who’ve you told?” she said softly.

“Sasha.” There was hard warning in his voice when he said her name. “Sasha, what is this?” When she didn’t answer, he glared. “What are you, their agent? Like, a spy or something?”

“Ken, you used security credentials out of the office. You kept office materials in personal storage.”

“Only publicly accessible stuff, Sasha! I would never—”

“But we touched it, Ken. Once we touch it, it’s ours.”

“Sasha.” Pleading.

“Who else have you told?”

“How long were you watching me?”

“It’s government, Ken. Or, government-adjacent. We’re always watching you. You know that.”

He collapsed into a La-Z-Boy and sighed. “Well.” Suddenly, it all felt funny. Hilarious. And he could not stop laughing. “Well, fuck me.” When he settled, “So what happens now?”

Sasha shrugged. “Nothing. We just wanted to check. We know what this work does to people. And not everyone wants to take advantage of office resources.”

“What, fifteen minutes of guided fucking meditation before I head into a Boko Haram attack?”

She chuckled. “Yeah, that.” She scratched her head, and somehow it looked like the most attractive thing Kenny had ever seen her do. “Look, I’m just doing my job. We’re all just doing our jobs. Fucking student loans.”

“Yeah. Fucking student loans.” He felt himself grow distant, something forming in him, and he wanted to be away from her before she could see it fully take shape. “Look, I should go. You good?”

She nodded.

“For real?”

She nodded again.

“Cool. Don’t worry, just going home. Although y’all are probably having me followed anyway, right?” He said it laughing, but he meant it to hurt. Then he left and did as he’d said he would. The commute from NYC to home was a practiced choreography, an easy enough pattern for the police—powered by the algo his colleagues had built—to learn.

 

 

The Scholar of the Bamboo Flute

Liên’s first duel at the Phụng Academy was bewildering, and almost unfair in its simplicity.

She let Mei—the fey, mercurial schoolmate half the academy seemed to avoid—take her to the arena. They paused at iron-wrought gates with a huge lock and a clear sight of what lay beyond: a crumbling platform by the river, overgrown by banyan roots. On the lock were characters that slowly morphed into letters. Liên bent, and her seal—Mother’s seal, the one she’d carried on a chain around her neck for more than nine years—touched the lock, and the letters shivered and rearranged themselves to match Mother’s style name on the seal.

The Hermit of the Bamboo Grove.

The doors creaked open. Leaves rustled, the ceaseless sound of a monsoon wind whipping tree branches in the forest.

“I must ask,” Mei said. “Are you sure?” She was so oddly formal. Her tone and the pronouns she used for herself and for Liên sounded like something from a scholar’s chronicle.

“Why?” Liên asked. She readjusted the hairpins in her topknot: they’d slipped sideways while she was walking to the arena. She hadn’t been told much, merely rumors: that the arena was where the best scholar students went to prove themselves; that Mei was the key; that Mei’s revered teacher, the chair of the Academy, held power beyond Liên’s wildest dreams, and it all flowed through Mei.

Liên didn’t much care about dreams, or power, but she wanted to excel. She needed to excel, because she was the scholarship kid, the one on sufferance from the poorest family, the orphan everyone looked at with naked pity in their eyes.

Liên wanted to be seen for who she truly was.

Mei’s face was utterly still. Her skin shone with the translucence of the finest jade, as if she were nothing more than a mask over light incarnate. “Why? Because it’s dangerous.”

Liên frowned. “You mean, it might get me expelled?”

Mei laughed. As she did so, Liên finally realized the sound that had been bothering her since the gates opened wasn’t the background noises of the forest, but a slow and plaintive noise, the first bars of a poem set to music. “No. It might get you killed.”

Inside, on the platform, someone was waiting for Liên. They were nothing but a dark silhouette at first—and then, as light slowly flooded the arena, seeping from Mei’s body into the stone, and from the stone into the banyan roots and the neighboring river, Liên saw who they were. Dinh, another of her classmates, an arrogant and borderline abusive woman who thought the world belonged to her.

She was holding a flute. It wasn’t yet to her mouth, but her fingers were on the holes already, and everything in her suggested impatience to play. “Younger aunt,” she said, to Liên. “What a pleasure. Let’s get on with it.”

It might get you killed. “Wait. This is a music competition?” Liên said. “I don’t understand.”

But Mei’s hands were already on her chest—an odd flutter as they connected, then they did something that Liên didn’t fully see or understand, and a sharp, stabbing pain ran through her, as something that seemed to have become stuck between her ribs came out one small, excruciating bit at a time—and it hurt as it came out, and Liên couldn’t breathe anymore, and it felt like the time she’d knelt by her parents’ coffins, hoping against all hope they’d come back. “Mei,” she tried to say, but it tasted like fire and blood in her mouth.

“It’s all right,” Mei said. “Take it.”

“Take what?” But Liên’s hand closed on the thing protruding from her chest, and she drew it out with the same ease as she’d draw a brush from its holder.

It was a flute. A plain bamboo one, unlike the bone-white one Dinh was holding, with three simple holes and a shadowy, ghostly fourth one. It was so achingly familiar, so achingly comforting, and Liên let out a breath she hadn’t even been aware of holding. Her fingers fit easily onto the first three holes, and the flute was at her mouth, the smooth and warm touch of bamboo on her lips.

“Elder aunt,” she said to Mei. “What’s—”

Mei’s face was grave. “Your instrument.”

Liên lowered the flute away from her mouth. It cost her. “People just don’t grow flutes!” Not even the famed scholars, whose ranks Liên so desperately ached to join.

Mei’s hand swept the arena. It was awash with light, the banyan’s roots receding into shadow, and in the luminous mass of the river Liên saw a flash of large and iridescent scales. Dragons? No one had seen dragons in the world for centuries. Surely…“Many things are possible, here,” Mei said.

“The power—” Liên started, and then stopped, because she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what was being offered here beyond myths and legends. “You said it could change the world.”

Mei’s smile was dazzling. “It can do everything you could ever need or want, elder aunt. If you follow the rules. If you reach the end of the duels.”

“What are the rules?”

Another smile. “Play. Be ranked. Advance.”

Liên’s hands tightened on the flute. A chance to be the brightest scholar in the world, to advise emperors and sages. To leave her mark at the heart of things. “Power,” she whispered. And, to her dead, revered parents, “Watch over me, Father and Mother.”

“Begin,” Mei said. She was standing in the middle of the platform, on one of the banyan roots.

She didn’t know how! But then Dinh started playing, and Liên’s words of protest froze on her lips. It was haunting and beautiful: a slow-rising melody about solitude and the need for strength, and the beauty of geese flying in the sky, and the banyan’s roots seen from the moon. As she played, the light flickered in the banyan roots and in the river, and Liên could see how the flute in Dinh’s hands beat the same rhythm as the heart in her chest.

And then it was over, and Mei turned to Liên. “You,” she said.

“I can’t—” Liên began, but her hands were already moving.

When she breathed into the flute, she felt, not music, but words come out—all the poems she’d written in her room at the Academy, trying to capture the beauty of rivers as dark as smoke, of willow leaves scattered in empty rooms—all the essays and the memorials and the pleas she’d trained herself to write for the good of the empire—and the other things, too, the courtship songs she’d burnt before they ever reached the courtesan she had a crush on, the ones about lips like moths’ wings and skin the color of jade. Her fingers moved on the holes of the flute, towards that shadowy fourth hole at the end—finally touching it with a stretch that felt as natural as breathing. When her last finger slid over it she remembered Mother’s poems and songs, the ones about dragons in the river and cockerels whose song could destroy citadels, and pearls of blood at the bottom of wells—she was playing and speaking and it all felt like one long breath that burnt in her lungs forever and ever, and then…

Then it stopped.

Shivering, shaking, Liên lowered the instrument from her mouth. The banyan’s roots were alight. Overhead in the canopy, pinpoints of light shone like wayward stars—no, not stars, but a flock of luminous birds—and in the river something large and sinuous shimmered in and out of existence. She felt light-headed and empty, as if she’d just run from one end of the Academy to another. And Mei’s face…Mei looked not distant or fey, but like someone whose hunger had finally been sated.

Dinh was pale, but it wasn’t the pallor of light, just exhaustion and fear. She looked from Mei to Liên, and then back again. Mei said, simply, “Liên wins.”

“She—” Dinh opened her mouth as though she was going to argue, but Mei was by her side, gently closing her hand around the flute, which was slowly vanishing. Back to her own body? What were the flutes, exactly? Where were they coming from?

“Go home,” Mei said, and her voice wasn’t unkind. “There are other arenas to prove yourself in.” Mei watched, thoughtfully, as Dinh staggered through the door.

The light in the banyan tree was fading. So was the creature in the river, and Liên’s own flute. It did nothing to diminish the terrible emptiness inside.

“You’ll feel better after you eat,” Mei said, turning to Liên. Her gaze was dazzling and luminous. “Come on.”

“I—” Liên’s voice felt all used up. “Where?” She walked behind Mei because she didn’t have any willpower of her own left, and she might as well. They went through the gates and the deserted gardens of the Academy—how was it already night, where had the time gone?

A single path with a few lanterns led to a building a little apart from the other buildings. The path wove through a garden that had once been rich, but was now in a state of disrepair: the ponds had become masses of churned mud choked by lotus flowers, and the pavilions were dilapidated ruins with missing roofs, the rain dripping on chipped stone. As they walked up to the lone building that reminded Liên vaguely of a pagoda or a watchtower, the rain became a slow, warm drizzle that plastered Liên’s topknot to her skull.

The tower’s gates were closed. Mei threw them open, spattering water on the slats of the rich parquet. Inside, someone sat at a low table, sipping from a cup of tea: a man of indeterminate age, wearing the clothes of a scholar-official, his topknot impeccable.

“Child,” he said, rising with a smile towards Mei. When he moved, the same light as the one Liên had seen in the arena limned him for the briefest of moments. “Younger aunt.” His smile was dizzying and magnetic. Liên felt at the center of the world, held in the web of his attention, and sagged when his gaze moved from her to Mei. She hadn’t eaten anything, and it was only sheer stubbornness that had kept her moving.

“This is Liên,” Mei said. “She just won her first duel. Elder aunt, this is Hiểu Sinh, my Revered Teacher.”

“Liên.” Sinh turned back to her and smiled, and again that flash of warmth swept through Liên, making her feel larger and worthier. “Welcome home, Liên.”

There were rules, ones Mei hadn’t mentioned. Odd ones like not eating garlic or onions, which made this seem like an offshoot of a monastery. And odder ones still, un-monastery-like: that the winner of the duel would move into the house and share a room with Mei. Sinh said it with a meaningful glance at Liên, which Liên chose to ignore. It wasn’t that Mei was unattractive, but being set up together like that was just too weird, and at no point had Sinh asked for Mei’s opinion or permission. Besides, Liên wanted to climb through merit, not marriage.

The duels she’d expected. They were irregular, huge occasions that required intense and feverish preparations. Sinh hinted there would not be many to fight, but would never share more details. “You will know when you’re ready for the power,” he said, and never would budge from that frustrating statement.

There were classes, too. In between Liên’s usual regimen of Statehood and Classics and Poetry at the Academy, Sinh would invite Liên to his study and pour tea for both of them, and talk about…Liên was never too sure what they talked about, only of Sinh’s eyes shining like jet, and of Mei, sitting behind Sinh the entire time, occasionally moving to replenish tea or dumplings or dipping sauces.

“I don’t understand why the flutes,” Liên said.

Sinh had spread a chess board between them, though he made no move to play. “The flute is the scholar.”

Liên opened her mouth to protest it was not, that the Four Arts of the gentleman scholar included music but on the zither, and then Sinh flipped the board, and all words fled.

It was an old, old board, so old it was engraved with the characters of the Chinese colonizers rather than the letters of the Việt alphabet. Pasted on it, carefully held behind a pane of what looked like glass—but no glass was so fine, or shone with such pulsing, warm light—was a painting.

Whoever had drawn it had skills worthy of the old masters. The brushstrokes were flowing and sure, and they suggested details with economy. The painting depicted a single scholar, standing before a rocky spur, fingers on a flute of deep green jade with complex carvings. And in front of him…in front of him rose a great dragon, antlers gleaming, pearls scattered in her mane, and maw at the level of his flute.

“Scholar Vương,” Sinh said. Behind him, Mei had risen. She laid a hand on the painting for a brief moment, closing her eyes as if some memory were painful. “His music was so powerful it could change the world.” His hand nudged Mei’s aside, touched on the details of the scholar’s clothes. “Summon dragons from the river and speak to the Dragon Princess herself.”

“Power,” Liên said. Her breath caught in her throat. She’d seen the banyan tree, but she hadn’t realized…

Sinh laughed. “You want to be adviser to emperors, child. Don’t give me that shocked look, your dreams are written large on your face.” He laid his tea cup on the floor, stared Liên in the eye until she had to lower her gaze or be openly disrespectful. “You dream too small.”

“I don’t!” Liên said. She—she wanted to make her parents proud of her, whatever heavens they were watching her from.

“Mei told you this power could remake the world.” A gentle snort. “Adviser. You will never summon dragons if you keep yourself so contained.”

How could he dismiss her so easily? Liên opened her mouth to protest, and found a touch on her arm: Mei, gently holding her and shaking her head. Apologize, Mei mouthed.

She had done nothing wrong, but Sinh was her teacher now. “I’m sorry,” she said. The words tasted like ash on her tongue.

“Good,” Sinh said, nodding briskly, as if the whole matter weren’t even worthy of mention. As if he hadn’t called all her dreams small and worthless. “You have another duel in a week’s time, child.”

After the lesson was over, Liên exhaled. The breath hurt.

Mei walked with her as she steered away from the corridors, and towards the door of the house—and the waiting gardens. They were unlike the ones in the Academy, where everything was staid and named: here trees grew wild, and lotus flowers choked the ponds.

“He means well,” Mei said. “He’s seen a lot of students.”

“And how many have gotten as good as Scholar Vương?” Liên couldn’t help the sharpness in her voice.

Mei smiled. “A few. Younger aunt…” She smoothed out the folds of her tunic, and Liên realized Mei was nervous and scared. And no wonder, with Sinh being so overbearing.

“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to run peacemaker between the two of us.”

“It’s what I do.”

What did she do? “You don’t duel,” Liên said, before she could stop herself.

Another smile, but this time it was more relaxed. “No. I don’t have that talent. I’m not a scholar.” It was said easily and matter-of-factly. She didn’t care.

“You make the flutes.”

A laugh, crystalline and careless, and Liên heard the hurt beneath.

She laid a hand on Mei’s arm, felt the warm tautness of her—felt something shift within her, her heart becoming too large. “Big’sis.” The intimate pronoun—the one reserved for an older, close friend of one’s generation—rose to her lips as easily as breathing.

“I don’t make the flutes,” Mei said. “I just…” She spread her hands. “I just make it easier for you to manifest them. They’re yours.”

“You don’t approve.”

Mei jumped. “What makes you think that?”

“The way you speak.” They’d reached a dilapidated pavilion on a spur that looked like someone had tried, badly, to evoke Scholar Vương summoning the Dragon Princess.

“I think he shouldn’t push you so hard,” Mei said. “You’re sixteen? You remind me of a child I once knew.”

“Seventeen,” Liên said, stung. “I’m an adult.”

Mei’s face was unreadable. She leant on the chipped railing of the pavilion, looking at the river. “So you are. And an…” She stopped, then, looked at Liên. “A driven person.”

“You were going to say orphan,” Liên said, bristling. But Mei didn’t sound like the other students, the ones who had mocked her for having no family or connections.

“Yes,” Mei said. “Having no parents can be hard.”

Liên shrugged, though she missed them. “I lost them when I was young. I don’t remember much about them.” It wasn’t quite true. She had dreams with Father’s perfume and Mother’s voice singing her to sleep. But what was true was that she remembered the coffins and the vigil in the temple more than she remembered them living—the way the air had been heavy and breathless, as if before a monsoon that would never come, the smell of incense curdling in the air, the rough feel of the mourning band on her forehead, the way it kept falling down into her eyes—her eldest aunt’s hand, bringing it back time and time again, her grim frustration that she was a child and everyone expected her to keep silent and out of the way.

“Sinh would say you could bring them back to life with the power,” Mei said.

“And is that true?” She’d said Sinh, not herself.

Again, that unreadable look. Mei’s hand rested by Liên’s on the railing. Liên’s fingers ached to draw her close. “I don’t know,” Mei said, finally, and there was clearly something that she wasn’t saying.

“I don’t want to bring my parents back because there’s an order to things,” Liên said. “Rules in heaven and on earth. Why should I be breaking them?”

“You’re dueling.”

She was—and it wasn’t just about being like Scholar Vương—but also the way that the music of her flute flowed through her—the way that it seemed one long, slow breath, finally released—the way that her anger and her grief and her ambition finally merged together and became something beautiful and pleasurable. The way it made her feel alive. “Is that breaking the world? Mei, what is this power? Why is Sinh so evasive?”

“Do you trust me?”

And wasn’t that a barbed question? “I don’t know,” Liên said.

“Fair.” Mei sighed. “I can tell you this: the power breaks no rules. It’s merely an ascension, like the sages of old.” But again there was something she wasn’t saying.

“You asked if I trust you. Should I be trusting Sinh?”

“He’s my Revered Teacher and I love him,” Mei said. “Come on, let’s go back to the house.”

They walked back a hand’s width from each other, Liên acutely aware of the way Mei moved—of the sway of her hips, how her lips opened slightly when she walked too fast, barely revealing the nacre of her teeth—what would it feel like, her lips on Mei’s lips? But she was acutely aware of another thing, too.

Mei hadn’t answered her question about Sinh.

Liên’s opponent for this duel—her seventh at the Academy—was a much older girl, Thụ Kiếng. Everyone in the Academy had heard of Thụ Kiếng. She routinely organized poetry contests and won all of them, and her calligraphy was so good it was exhibited in the Academy’s classrooms and corridors.

Liên didn’t want to fight Thụ Kiếng, because she was going to lose.

“You won’t lose,” Mei said. They stood on the arena platform, between the banyan roots. Liên held her flute to her mouth: plain, unadorned bamboo with that fourth hole—four for death and all that had brought her so far. It felt so flimsy and inadequate.

It wouldn’t be enough.

“She’s a scholar. A proper one. The bright one. I don’t even know why I’m here, big’sis!” Liên’s hands clenched on her flute. She was an orphan from a poor family, a girl from the country playing at being a scholar. Who was she, to think she could attain the power of legends?

Mei wrapped one hand around Liên’s—gently reached with her other, to touch the flute—and Liên shivered, as if it were her lips Mei was touching. “You’re here because you’re worthy.” Her gaze, wide and luminous, held Liên’s—Liên’s throat was suddenly dry. “Because you are seen.”

Liên drew in a deep, shaking breath. “Big’sis.”

Mei’s hand moved from the flute, rested on Liên’s lips for a bare moment, and warmth spread from Liên’s face down her spine. She ached to reach out—dared not reach out. “I see you, lil’sis. Vương’s heir. I see you. You will do this, because you can no more fail this than stop breathing.”

Mei withdrew her hands, leaving Liên shaking. “Big’sis.”

“Ssh,” Mei said, but her gaze lingered on Liên’s face a little too long, and her eyes were half-lidded with hunger and desire. “I have Thụ Kiếng to fetch.”

Liên waited. She lowered her flute, and laid a hand on the banyan tree. It was cold and dark now, only brought to life by flute music. The river was lifeless, too. No, that wasn’t true. It teemed with those silver flashes she’d already seen. She knelt and trailed her hand in the water, heedless of the cold. The flashes came closer, nipping at her fingers. Fish. Small silvery carps, weaving in and out of her hand, gently tickling her—and for a moment she wasn’t Liên or the current champion of the duel, but simply the girl she’d been in a faraway past, the one who’d played in the river while her parents were in their study.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

Liên scrambled to her feet. Thụ Kiếng was standing next to her, holding a flute of glass. Mei leaned against the banyan tree, waiting for them to start. “What do you mean?”

Thụ Kiếng was tall, her hair brought back in an impeccable topknot, her face classically beautiful: smart and chiseled, her hands long and elegant. She made Liên feel like a country bumpkin. “The river.” She smiled. It was bitter and fragile. “We all splash into it as children, coming home muddy-handed with only a memory of fishes to show for ourselves. Until our parents remind us that it’s time to put aside childhood and study hard.”

Liên flushed. “I didn’t have that.” She wasn’t sure what to say.

“I know,” Thụ Kiếng said, and it wasn’t unkind. “You want to summon the Dragon Princess?”

Liên said nothing, but she thought of the painting she’d seen in Sinh’s study—of the dragon rearing up. What would that kind of power feel like? “Maybe.”

“Mmm.” Thụ Kiếng sighed. “The Dragon Princess vanished from the world at the same time as Scholar Vương.”

“Vanished?”

“No one knows what happened.” Thụ Kiếng’s voice was wistful. “I think they just reached a point where they couldn’t outrun the laws of nature anymore. Heaven doesn’t bestow blessings without some kind of expected behavior.” A sigh. “I don’t know what’s in the river, but I don’t think it’s the princess anymore. I don’t think anyone can reach her.”

Liên said, finally, “Does it matter?”

A long, measuring look from Thụ Kiếng. “To you? No, I think not. Come on. I think she’s waiting for us.”

“I don’t—” Liên stopped. She wasn’t about to tell Thụ Kiếng she was afraid, but Thụ Kiếng saw it anyway.

“You can concede,” she said. “But you won’t, will you?”

Liên clutched the flute. “I’d be shaming my parents if I lost.”

Thụ Kiếng cocked her head. “Would you?”

“What do you mean?” But Thụ Kiếng had already turned away from her, towards Mei.

It was Liên’s turn first, because she held the title. She raised the flute to her hands, still feeling the fish dart between her fingers—and when she played, the river came out. It was the fish and the mud and the sound of the water, and their barely remembered house—and Mother’s measured voice, composing poetry; and Father’s, laughing and answering her, his own voice weaving between verses. And as she remembered her parents her finger stretched, found the fourth hole of the flute, and the music poured out of her in a rush that lifted her and drained her at the same time.

She came out of the song with her heart hammering in her chest. The platform was awash with light. In the canopy of the banyan, the flock of luminous birds was larger, and the branches supported the looming moon. Something was climbing from the depths of the river, a dark shadow about to break the surface of the water, and Mei wasn’t leaning against the tree anymore, but looking at the river with tears in her eyes.

“My love…” she whispered, softly, slowly.

Thụ Kiếng was staring at her, and at Mei. “That’s hard to follow.” She lifted her own flute, slowly and ironically, and brought it to her lips. The music that came out of it was small and slow: a dirge for a girl who had refused Thụ Kiếng, and a boy she’d loved, but who fell ill and had left the Academy, never to come back. It all sounded…tinny, as if from a great distance, and when Thụ Kiếng lowered her flute, the tree had barely lit up. In the river, there was hardly anything, a shadow of a shadow, diving almost immediately out of sight again.

“I concede,” Thụ Kiếng said, bowing to Mei. And, to Liên, “Think of what I’ve said.”

And she left.

Liên wrapped both hands around her fading flute, trying to stem the shivering of her whole body.

What she’d said.

Would you? Would you be shaming your parents?

And she knew what she’d already known before playing: that she wasn’t scared of shaming her parents. She was scared of losing. Of losing her place in the house and Sinh’s cryptic lessons.

Scared of losing Mei.

Mei was leaning against the banyan tree, her eyes on the river. “Let’s go home,” Liên said, slowly, tentatively. “Big’sis?”

“It’s your second to last duel,” Mei said, and her voice was tight. “Did you see the river?”

The dragon rising from the heart of it, close enough that she could see their head about to break through the water. Close enough that she could touch them. The Dragon Princess, Sinh had said, but Thụ Kiếng thought that the princess was long dead. What was below the surface of the water?

Her second to last duel. That felt unreal. Unearned. “Surely—”

“Sinh will tell you. It’s almost over, lil’sis.” Mei turned towards her—and in that one moment as she started moving, in that one unguarded moment, Liên saw her face, and her bearing. It wasn’t tears of joy or nostalgia in her eyes, but rather of her entire being wracked by a pain so great it made her cry.

“Big’sis!”

“Lil’sis?” Mei’s voice was puzzled.

“You’re in pain.”

“I’m not,” Mei said, but it was as if the song had granted Liên double vision, overlaying Mei’s graceful demeanor with a deeper truth.

“You’re lying. What’s wrong, Mei?”

“There’s nothing wrong.” A grimace, utterly inadequate against the way her entire body was braced against the pain. “Nothing’s changed, lil’sis. Come on, let’s go home.”

That last rang with a sincerity like nothing else, but the implications were horrific. Nothing had changed? Liên followed Mei back to their quarters, watching her, watching the way she held herself: that small pouting with her lips she always did when she walked, that quiver. But it wasn’t pouting, was it? Merely a scream, held back, and the way she moved was elegant and graceful, a mask that slipped here and there—hips jutting out a bit too far when a thigh spasmed; lips closing a fraction, thinning; fingers clenching for a mere breath, pupils dilated just a bit too much.

Had she…had she always been like this, since the start? Had Liên been blind, the entire time? What did it mean?

What was wrong?

In their room, Mei busied herself, brightly—a little too much, a little too brashly—making dumplings and noodle soup. “You need food, lil’sis.”

Liên waited until Mei was done. “It’s Sinh, isn’t it?”

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

“He wants something from you, and you’re in pain because of that.”

“I already told you I’m not in pain.”

Liên drew in a deep, shaking breath. “Big’sis.” She put into her voice all the things that usually went into the flute song. “I can see it. I can see you. Ever since the duel. The last one.”

“You can’t possibly—”

Liên said nothing. She didn’t touch her chopsticks, either. She just stared until Mei gave up busying herself and sat cross-legged on the floor with her head cocked—and every so often she’d flicker, and Liên would see her bent backwards, her chest pierced with shadowy swords. Not just a few, either. There were so many impaling her, hilts and blades and crosspieces all jumbled together. How could she—how could she even breathe or talk or move?

“That’s not possible,” Mei said. Her voice was filled with dawning, fragile wonder.
“No one has ever—”

“No one. How many times have you done this, Mei?”

A weary sigh. “Too many.” Mei flickered again—arched backwards, face tense and slick with sweat, the swords’ blades glinting in the lantern light—they flexed as she moved, with the clear sound of metal on metal.

“You said it was the last duel. You said it was almost over. What’s happening, Mei?”

Mei said, finally, “I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“You held me. You touched my lips. Was that part of the plan, too?”

“No!” Mei’s voice was full of panic. “I would never. Lil’sis. Please. I would never—”

“Sleep with me? Sinh hinted, didn’t he? Putting us in the same room is kind of unsubtle.”

Mei’s face was drawn with pain, haggard. The blades in her chest glinted with blood and sweat. Liên fought the urge to hug her. “I would never lie to you by faking feelings. And you didn’t.”

“Didn’t what.”

“Sleep with me. That…that mattered.” She made it sound like an extraordinary feat.

“That’s basic human decency,” Liên said. “Wait.” Her voice was flat. “You said this had happened too many times. There were others.”

Mei didn’t deny this, which was as good as an admission.

“They slept with you.”

“It’s…it’s nothing more than I deserved, for what I’ve done.”

“No one deserves—” Liên stopped, because she didn’t know how to say it. What kind of twisted universe did Mei live in? And—more pressingly and importantly—how long had it all been going on? “He’s thrown you at duelists, and they’ve taken advantage.”

“Not always.”

“Often enough.” Liên’s fists clenched. “Big’sis—” She did reach out then, not to kiss Mei like she desperately wanted, but simply to squeeze Mei’s shoulder, gently and slowly and watching warily for any signs Mei didn’t want it. But all she could see was the pain: the swords impaling Mei, their weight bending her backward. “I can see swords, Mei. They’re going through your chest. What are they?”

Again, no answer. “You can’t tell me. It’s Sinh, isn’t it? What hold does he have over you? Is it the swords?”

A silence. Then, “The swords are my fault. My pain to bear. Because I was the one who suggested it all, you see. The arena. The duels.”

Liên stared at Mei, suddenly chilled. “You—what does he want, Mei?”

“The music.” Mei’s voice was flat. She ran a hand through her own topknot, catching on the golden hairpins. “He lost it, and he was so desperately unhappy. He—” She breathed out, her face filling with that same wonder she’d shown, back at the river. “He was so young, once. So full of light and striding across the land as if he understood all of it, from the carps to the stars in the sky. He held my hand and saw me. Truly saw me, just the way I was.”

Somehow Liên didn’t think Sinh’s desperate hunger was going to be filled by simply listening to Liên play. “My flute. He wants my flute.”

“The flute of the player strong enough to summon the dragons in the river. Perhaps even calling the Dragon Princess Scholar Vương summoned. He won’t be able to play it for long. Playing a flute not your own burns it.” Mei’s voice was mirthless. “But he’ll have it. Sinh always gets what he wants.”

Including Mei. “Because you give it to him, don’t you?” Liên didn’t have words for how much it hurt her. Sinh’s betrayal was nothing unexpected, but to know that Mei would stand by him no matter what. “Always and always.”

A shadow of that same wonder in Mei’s eyes, brittle and dark. “He smiles, and I see it again. The heart he had when he was younger…”

And was that enough reason for what she was doing? “And what happens afterwards? When he’s walked away with the thing inside my chest? He just steals people’s lives and you let him?”

Bitter laughter from Mei. “It won’t kill you. Just—” She spread her hands. “It will hurt. Every day, it will hurt.”

“Like swords in your chest?”

“It’s not the same thing!”

“Is it not? Because it sounds like he’s just leaving a trail of broken people behind him. Including you.”

“You don’t understand.” Mei pulled away, stood up. The swords flexed as she did, driving deeper into her flesh—a clink of metal against metal, and Mei stopping, gasping, her eyes closing for a brief moment, sweat running down her forehead. “There’s nothing you can do, lil’sis. Nothing you can change. Just—just go. Find Sinh. He’ll know you’re ready.”

As if she wanted to find Sinh and offer herself for the slaughter. “You don’t trust me.” That hurt, a lot.

“You’re a child.” Mei’s voice was cold. “Playing with flutes and with songs and not understanding what’s happening.”

“You’re not helping me understand, are you?”

“Because you can’t!”

“That’s pointless!” Liên rose, too, scattering chopsticks and bits of herbs. “Help me, Mei.”

But Mei had turned away from her, and wouldn’t speak anymore.

Liên ran. She didn’t know where she was going and didn’t care—her feet pounded the shriveled grass of Sinh’s gardens, and the hills, and the road leading to the arena, and back to the buildings of the Academy—the classrooms where teachers waited to impart wisdom from the sages, where her classmates would be waiting for her to take her place—until she finally reached a knoll of grass. She sat, sheltered by the branches of a willow tree whose dense jade foliage cut off her view of the world.

You’re a child.

If she closed her eyes she would see, again and again, Mei’s drawn face, the careful way in which she moved.

Every day, it will hurt.

Sinh would take everything from her, just as he had taken everything from Mei, and she didn’t know enough to stop him. And Mei…Mei would stand by him, and that was the worst.

How many times have you done this, Mei?

Too many.

And yet…Liên remembered the hand in hers, Mei’s fingers on her lips for an all too brief moment. You are seen. That conversation in the gardens, Mei telling Liên that Sinh shouldn’t push her so hard. Mei cared, didn’t she?

And did Liên care?

“You look like a whole turmoil of thoughts,” an amused voice said.

Mei’s gaze jerked up. It was Thụ Kiếng.

The former duelist wore scholar’s robes and an impeccable topknot. Her seal—a match to the one that had allowed her access to the dueling arena—swung on her chest as she sat down next to Liên. It was a smaller and newer thing. Her personal one?

“Steamed bun?” Thụ Kiếng asked.

Liên took it, because she didn’t quite know what to do. They nibbled together in almost companionable silence. It was pork and cat’s ear mushroom, and a small but perfect quail’s egg in the center, the yolk dissolving into sharp, salty powder in Liên’s mouth.

“Feeling better now?”

Liên couldn’t see the point of diplomacy. “I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve.”

Thụ Kiếng laughed. “Not everyone has hidden agendas within hidden agendas. I’m out of the dueling game. I lost. But for someone who won everything, you look decidedly unenthused.” Her expression was distant, almost serene.

Liên stared at the swaying willow branches. She thought of Sinh and flutes and music and stealing the work of his students. Of Mei and swords and kindness. “It’s the last duel,” she said. And it would be against Sinh. “Why?” she asked, finally.

“Why do I duel? Because in spite of myself, I believe in miracles. There was a girl, you see.” Thụ Kiếng’s voice was wistful.

“You want someone to love you?”

“No,” Thụ Kiếng said. “You know that can’t be forced. But I wanted to show her that…stories could be real. That there could be happiness ever after.”

Liên remembered the song in the arena, the one Thụ Kiếng had played. “The boy. The one who loved you back.”

“He’s dead. Or out there in the world, which is perhaps the same thing. This is his seal,” Thụ Kiếng said, lifting the seal around her neck. “The last thing he gave me before he left. Why do you duel, younger aunt? And don’t tell me your parents. That’s what granted you access to the arena in the first place—your mother’s seal and all it symbolized—but that’s no longer true.”

Liên said nothing, for a while. “She’s in pain.”

“Mei? Nothing that she didn’t bring on herself.” Thụ Kiếng’s voice was almost gentle.

The swords are my fault. “How long has it been going on?”

A shrug, from Thụ Kiếng. “Who knows? They’ve always been there, insofar as I know. You hear about the chairmen of the school, but I think there’s only ever been one, wearing different faces and different names.”

“Always.” It was vertiginous and unwelcome. “All that time.” All that time in pain and denying it. “It shouldn’t be that way.” And she had something Sinh wanted. Her flute. Her music. All that had shaped her as a scholar. She could bargain, if she wanted it badly enough.

Did she?

What kind of person would it make her, if she walked away from Mei?

“You want to help Mei?” Thụ Kiếng stared at her for a while. “Oh, I see. That’s the way it is.”

“No,” Liên said, before she could think. “I don’t—”

“Care for her? Of course you do.” Thụ Kiếng laughed. “This doesn’t have to be a love that echoes down lifetimes, lil’sis. It just has to be enough. But you know that she’ll stand by Sinh. They’ve stood by each other all that time. Asking her to step away, no matter how well-intentioned…”

“She loves him.” It shouldn’t have hurt so much, when Liên said it. Because how could Mei possibly love Sinh?

“Sinh? Yes.” Thụ Kiếng played with the jade seal at her neck—the dead boy’s. “She will not thank you, you know.”

“For rescuing her.”

“You’re assuming she will view it as a rescue.” Thụ Kiếng sighed. “You’re a real scholar. Never standing for injustice or unfairness.” She used an uncommon word for “real,” one that meant “bright” and “real” all at once, like a miniature jewel. “Because I wouldn’t walk into that arena, myself.”

Liên sighed. She thought of Mei and of—not love, but a connection, and care for each other. “I guess it’s all up to me, then.”

Mei was waiting for Liên at the arena’s entrance. She was wearing the long, flowing, five-panel robes of the imperial court, red silk with golden embroidery of flowers and mythical animals. She’d unbound her hair, and it hung loose on her shoulders, with the golden hairpins scattered in their strands like stars.

She looked like someone out of myths, out of fairy tales—someone Liên would watch dance and later share celestial peaches with—someone breathtakingly, fragilely beautiful, like cracked celadon.

“Lil’sis?”

Liên just stood and gaped. “Big’sis.”

Mei walked to her. Linh breathed in a smell that was cut grass and the sharpness of a storm. And then Mei bent forward, and kissed her, and she tasted like steel and salt.

“Big’sis,” she said, gasping, when Mei stopped, and still stood close, close enough to touch.

For a moment, there was the same slow wonder in Mei’s eyes there had been in their room, when she’d understood Liên could see her pain. “I wanted…” Mei said.

“It’s all right,” Liên said. And slowly, gently, kissed her back until her mouth was full of Mei’s sharpness. “It’s all right to want.” She was everything to Liên, and they both knew it would not last.

“Not here, not now.” Mei’s voice was bitter. She pulled away. “But thank you. For the kindness.” She flickered again, and Liên saw the swords, sprouting from her chest as if she’d grown a tree of thorns from within, a tangled mass of gleaming sharpness and bloodied blades.

Liên said, finally—because Thụ Kiếng was right, because she couldn’t rescue Mei against her will—“You said I was a child. You said you didn’t trust me. I need you to—” She stopped, then, because she didn’t know what she said that wouldn’t be platitudes, or a rerun of an argument they had already had. Instead, she reached out, and wrapped her finger around the hilt of a sword in Mei’s chest. She hadn’t expected to make contact—she’d thought they’d be as ghostly visions without power to wound—but what she grabbed was cold and slick and hungry.

Old sins and blood and punishment and the will of heaven and the order of things and love cannot should not triumph because nothing is eternally unchanging…

She let go, gasping. “This has to end. It’s not fair. It’s not equitable.”

Mei’s face hadn’t changed. “I told you—”

“I know what you said,” Liên said. She raised her hand—slowly laid two fingers on Mei’s mouth, in the curve of those lips drawn back in a pain Liên couldn’t alleviate. “That it’s your fault. That it’s all for him. That it’s worth it. That I’m a child.”

“Do you think I kiss children?” Mei’s voice was stiff, barely audible. Liên didn’t move her fingers. She pressed, gently, against Mei’s lips.

“No. But still…things end,” Liên said, gently, and with more confidence than she felt. “And you matter. I’m not asking you to trust me, but will you stand by me?”

“I don’t know,” Mei said, and Liên knew then that she wouldn’t. That she couldn’t, because Sinh was her whole world and her whole being.

A chance. That was all she wanted. A chance for Mei to change. To cut the cord that bound her to Sinh, the chain of complicities and bargains Liên wasn’t privy to. A chance. Give me this, please, Mother and Father. Let me matter. This is how I want to leave my mark on the world. Please.

“Watch me,” she said, instead, and withdrew her fingers from Mei’s mouth, reluctantly. She wanted to kiss Mei again, but it was no longer time.

“Always,” Mei said, and her voice was sad.

The doors were closed, but this time they opened at Liên’s touch. The characters on the lock contracting to display, not the name on the seal around Liên’s neck, but a single archaic word in Việt.

Nhân.

Humaneness. Altruism. A fundamental virtue of the scholar. Liên would have laughed, if she felt in the mood to laugh.

As they walked, Mei laid a hand on Liên’s chest, and this time there was no splitting of the world, no difficulty to breathe—and Liên was still walking but she was also holding her own flute. “Why is it so easy?”

Mei smiled, and it was a shadow of the expression that had endeared Liên to her. “You’re so close to ascension. Didn’t you realize? You barely need me anymore. You could manifest this with just a thought.”

Liên didn’t feel close. She felt small and scared and powerless. How old was the thing she’d stepped into, and how presumptuous was she for thinking she could change even a fraction of it?

The arena was dark, but someone was sitting at the center. “Child,” Sinh said, and as he rose, the banyan lit up, and she saw that he’d brought the chessboard, the one with the painting of Scholar Vương summoning the dragon—except that he’d laid the pieces on the painting’s side as though for the beginning of a game.

Sinh had changed his clothes, too. He wore long, loose azure robes and a large sash adorned with peach-tree branches; his hair was tied in an elaborate topknot, held in place by silver pins. In fact—

Liên looked to the board for confirmation. He was dressed exactly as Scholar Vương in the painting. “Modeling what you’re trying to steal?” She hadn’t meant to be wounding, but she was acutely aware of Mei at her side.

Sinh raised an eyebrow. “I see you are not ignorant. You are wrong, however.”

Liên raised her flute, an inadequate shield. By her side, Mei had fallen to her knees, and this time the swords going through her weren’t ghostly. They were real, and Mei was bleeding on the floor, curled and gasping and struggling to breathe.

Mei. No no no no.

Mei!!!

“Wrong?” Liên knelt by Mei’s side, trying to grab a sword, any sword—to pull it out of the mass of sharpness and blood, but Mei kept writhing, and the swords moved with her, dragging across the floor, their hilts and blades clinking against the stones, the entire mass opening up with Mei’s ragged breathing and convulsions, like an obscene flower. Mei. No. No no no. “You’ve used her. You’ve used all of us to steal power. How wrong am I?”

An amused laugh. Sinh knelt on the other side of Mei, making no move to help her. “Almost. I’m not stealing. I made this power: I’m only taking back what is owed to me.”

Owed to him? “I don’t understand—” Liên said, and then she looked at him—really looked. Mei’s swords were now real, but so was another thing: the hole in Sinh’s chest, through which jutted a tip of a broken flute of deep, gleaming jade.

I made this power.

Sinh laughed. “Yes. I’m not a thief, child.”

“You’re Vương. Scholar Vương. You—”

“What became of him. What’s left of him.”

And Mei—Mei who was contorting and bleeding on the floor of the arena—Mei, who wore the dress of a princess of the imperial court….

“The Dragon Princess,” Liên said. The words didn’t feel real. They couldn’t be. “You. You cannot be alive.”

“Hunger will do odd things to time,” Sinh said. “Stretch and thin it, so that nothing is quite right—tea with dregs of ashes, a lover’s touch dragging bone fingers across my skin, the river shimmering with corpses. She was right: I only feel alive when I play.”

Her flute. Liên’s hands tightened on it. “And you broke your flute.”

A shrug. “Power can be used for many things, but I used mine wrongly. Too many worldly things: a palace and serving girls, and jade and silver, and the kingdoms of the world at my feet. I won’t make that mistake again.”

No, now he just enjoyed having one person utterly devoted to him. Liên had to stop herself looking at Mei. “So just the music, then.”

“You’ve felt it,” Sinh said. “You know.”

A heady rush of pleasure unlike anything she’d ever felt, the sensation that she could be anything and do anything, the wonders of the birds and the dragon in the river…“Yes,” Liên said, because she wasn’t him and didn’t lie.

“This is why I need your flute.”

“Are you asking?”

Sinh shrugged. “Usually, I’m the Revered Teacher, and the students will do what I ask because they trust me. But you—” He frowned, staring at her as if he didn’t quite know what to make of her.

Liên said, “Free her. And I’ll give you the flute.” She kept her voice low and emotionless, but it was hard, because Mei was screaming.

“Her?” He looked at her, and at Mei. He laughed, softly. “I’m not holding her prisoner.”

But some cages didn’t have overt jailers. Liên’s mouth clamped on pointless words. “Walk away.”

Again, laughter. “Give me the flute, and I won’t interfere.”

Of course, because he didn’t need her. His face said it all. He thought Liên was throwing herself headlong at useless hopes. Liên…didn’t know if she disagreed, but she had to do something. “Deal,” she said. “Now go.”

When she passed the flute to Sinh, she felt as if she was handing him the heart in her chest.

“Finally.” He laughed softly, gently, and seemed to grow taller—and as his hair came loose and fluttered in the rising wind, and as his skin glowed alabaster, she finally saw what Mei had: the young scholar flush with dreams and glory, the man whose music transcended this world, strong enough to summon from the heavens and the river’s depths.

“Mei. Mei.” Liên tried to grab the swords, but she couldn’t. They kept flickering out of reach, and the hilt was oddly shaped and always shifting out of her reach. “Mei, please.”

Sinh walked to the river, stood in the banyan’s shadow. When his fingers slid into the hollows she felt them, one by one, as if they were resting on her skin, above the collarbone—and a sibilant whisper rose from the tree.

Trespasser thief taker of songs.

A note like a plucked string, and there was a sword, hanging in the air—the same swords sticking from Mei’s chest, the ones Liên was desperately trying to pull out. Its voice echoed like thunder across the arena.

The will of heaven cannot be flouted punishment must be meted out the order of things cannot be violated.

Sinh barely glanced at the sword. He gestured, fluidly and carelessly, towards Mei. “Take her.”

The sword shifted towards Mei, the strength of its presence—sharp and slick and hating—sending Liên to her knees.

Do you consent?

Mei’s gaze rested, for a brief moment, on Liên. She smiled, with tears in her eyes. “You’re so young,” she whispered. “Playing with objects of power as if they were toys. There is no respite.”

“Big’sis, no!”

But Mei’s lips had already parted again. “I consent.”

The sword dove for her, just as Sinh started playing. “No!!!”

Each note felt drawn from the veins in her chest, and it was discordant and tentative—and Liên was on her knees, struggling to breathe, struggling to see anything through the tears in her eyes—her hands bloodied and cramped from trying to hold swords. The new sword joined the others, one more addition to a tangled mass—one sword for each stolen flute, one more nail in a coffin of everlasting pain. The banyan’s lights were flickering, and she couldn’t think anymore, she couldn’t—

Mei’s voice, a memory of that time they’d fought over the dumpling soup.

He held my hand and saw me. Truly saw me, just the way I was.

He’d seen her. What had he seen?

Sinh was still playing, and the lights were slowly filling the tree and the river. The huge and dark being in the river finally broke free—and it was the wizened and algae-encrusted shadow of a dragon, emaciated and infested with crawling, dark shapes like insect parasites, antlers broken and oozing dark liquid.

Seen.

How dare he? A wave of nausea and anger wracked Liên.

Seen.

“Princess,” Liên whispered. She pulled herself up, crawled to Mei, each gesture sending a fresh wave of pain down her chest. “Dragon Princess.” Her voice stumbled—she couldn’t remember the archaic words anymore. “Dragon.” She lifted a hand—drew, slowly and haltingly, the old characters. “I see you.”

Dragon.

Princess.

Mei.

The characters hung in the air for a brief moment, shifting to seal script, the same cursive shape on the seal around Liên’s neck. Mei’s face, drawn in pain, turned towards her, and Liên saw scales scattered across her cheek, iridescent patches that shone with a breathtaking light. “Mei,” Liên whispered, and Mei’s lips thinned on her name, and in her eyes shone the same slow wonder she’d shown before, and a shadow of her desire as she’d kissed Liên.

And abruptly Liên could breathe again—could, for a moment only, see Mei, curled around the shape of the swords transfixing her. One of them was less fuzzy and less shadowy than the rest. The last one, the one that had come from Liên’s flute: its hilt was the same color and opacity as the fourth hole in the flute had been.

Liên closed her eyes, and tried to remember what it had been like to play. All her poems and all her songs, and all of Mother’s old stories, and dragons in the river, and citadels brought down by theft, and people turning to stone by the seashore—and swords with jewel-encrusted hilts—and her finger, reaching out, slid and connected with hard metal and old, everlasting hunger.

The will of heaven is punishments there should not be mercy she consented…

“I do not,” Liên whispered, and felt the sword pause in its ceaseless litany. “It was my flute, and I do not consent!”

The blade came free. The weight of it sent Liên to the floor, before she pulled herself up, gasping. She held nothing but smoke and shadows, the vague shape of a sword. She—she could kill Sinh while he was still engrossed in the music. An eye for an eye, blood for blood. She could feel the sword’s quiescent hunger, its anger, its rage at the way student after student had lost their hearts to Sinh. It was not right. It had to be made right. She wanted—

She wanted to help Mei, not a bloodbath.

Help me. Father, Mother, help me do the right thing. The needful thing.

She drove the sword in the earth, feeling the shock of it in her bones; the shape of the hilt in her hand, what it had felt like when she’d connected, when she’d taken the weight of the blade in her hand.

Then, slowly and grimly, she went for the rest of them.

As when she’d played the flute, it was a matter of putting her fingers in the proper space—of reaching out across the length of metal or bamboo and finding a hole that shouldn’t have been there. She didn’t feel flush with words or poems, simply struggling to keep the emptiness in her chest from consuming her whole.

The flute in Sinh’s hand was burning now—slowly starting to fade, a dull, distant pain compared with the effort of grabbing one sword after another—to hold hilt after hilt, planting blade after blade in the floor of the arena. Her hands were slick with blood and sweat, and her legs shook and locked into painful spasms.

Sword after sword after sword, and there was no end to them, the countless students whose flutes Sinh had used up. It’s my fault, Mei had said, and yes, she had not stopped him, but an eternity of pain while he walked free…how was that fair punishment?

Liên reached out, again and again, and finally her hand closed on empty air. Surely she’d missed one…But when she looked, she stood in a field of swords, and Mei lay beneath her, gasping.

Traitor coward thief. The swords’ combined voices made the earth shake. Heedless, Liên knelt by Mei’s side. “Big’sis. Come on come on. It’s over.”

Mei’s lips were blue. “Lil’sis.” Her smile was weak. “It’s…never…over.”

A noise, behind her. It was Sinh. He held burnt bamboo fragments in his hands: the remnants of Liên’s flute. He looked, curiously, at the swords scattered around them. “A fine effort,” he said. “But in the end, it will avail you nothing.”

“Shut up,” Liên said. And, to Mei, “Look. Look.” And, gently cradling Mei’s head, turned her towards the river, towards the skeletal and almost unrecognizable dragon, slowly sinking back beneath the waves. “That’s what he sees, big’sis. Do you truly think that’s who you are?”

Mei’s face was drawn in pain. The swords were quivering, thirsting for blood. She’d earned nothing but a reprieve. “Lil’sis.”

“Look,” Liên said, and then everything she’d done—the swords, the burning of her flute—hit her like a hammer, and she flopped downwards, as the swords rumbled and started tearing themselves away from the ground. “Look!

Mei was crying. It was slow and noisy and heart-wrenching.

“Come, child,” Sinh said to Mei. He was halfway to the gates of the arena, one hand on the wrought iron. He tossed, carelessly, the fragments of Liên’s flute on the floor, and Liên felt as if she’d been stabbed as each one hit the stones. “Nothing ever changes. Come home.”

“Big’sis. Walk away from him, please.”

Mei didn’t say anything. Sinh waited, arrogant and sure of himself: for everything to start again, for the old games to resume. For other duels and other thefts.

“Please…” Liên’s words tasted like blood. “There’s no time left. Please.”

A final rumble, and the swords tore themselves free, and dove, again, towards Mei.

Liên screamed before she could think. “Take me, not her. I consent!”

In the frozen instant before the swords dove for her, she saw Mei’s shocked face—the same shock on Sinh’s face—rising, shaking and heavily breathing, stretching and changing, and saying a single word ringing like a peal of thunder.

“No.”

“You can’t—” Sinh said.

Mei’s voice was cold. “I do not consent.” The swarm of swords shivered and shook, turning from Liên to Mei and from Mei to Sinh. “She will not take my pain, and I will not take his anymore.”

“Child, please,” Sinh said. And another, older word. “Beloved…”

“No,” Mei said. She was long and halfway to serpentine, with the shadow of antlers around her snouted face, her hand gripping Liên’s shoulder like iron—and she was so beautiful, so heartbreakingly beautiful, brittle mane streaming in the wind, antlers shining with weak and flickering iridescence. “Find someone else to bear your guilt.”

The swords shivered from Mei to Sinh to Liên—the weight of their presence oscillating as they shook and shook and shook—and then they finally dived for Sinh.

His mouth moved. He tried to say something: words that were drowned by the rush of air, by the angry whispers of the swords as they came for him. They faded to a faint shadow, a shard of darkness lodging itself into his chest. He fell, gasping, to his knees, breathing hard—and finally got up, shaking. His face was slick with sweat, but his voice was assured and smooth.

“Nothing has changed,” he said. “I’m still the chairman of the Academy.”

He’d find someone else, wouldn’t he? He no longer had Mei, but it would just start all over again—the duels and the flutes and the abuse, sheltered by the Academy the way it had always been sheltered.

Nothing had changed.

“Come on,” Mei said. She pulled Liên up, slowly.

“Big’sis.” Liên was a mass of sore and unhealed wounds and fatigue. She’d freed Mei. That mattered. It had to. One person at a time, and yet how much it had all cost…“Big’sis…”

“Ssh.” Mei laid a shaking hand on Liên’s lips—two fingers, pressing against her flesh, and then the rest of her face, bending towards Liên: a brief, exhausted kiss that resonated in Liên’s chest, setting her entire being alight. “Let’s go, my love.”

“Where—”

A short, exhausted laugh. “Out there. The world isn’t the Academy, and it holds more than his games. Let’s go. Anywhere. Come.”

They walked supporting each other. They didn’t spare a glance for Sinh, who still stood over the shards of Liên’s flute, whispering “nothing has changed” over and over.

Slowly and carefully, they picked their way out of the arena, holding each other’s hands—walking measure by agonizing measure towards the iron-wrought gates—out of the arena, out of the Academy, and out into the world that awaited them both.

 

 

With thanks to @mainvocaljiu for help with naming Sinh.

 

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